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Happy Anniversary to me!

Redsonya's picture

Wow! So the saga continues around here. (No harsh comments please all - I am being mean enough to myself). I've been writing about my DH and HIS issues, let alone the lunatic BM and skids for the past year. Last year I filed for divorce and got a default judgement. There was one little mistake on the final judgement so they sent it back to me, which put the final divorce on hold. In the meantime, DH convinced me to give him one more chance, which I stupidly did. Things were actually pretty good from September to February. BM and the skids are always something of a pain, but we cut off all communication with BM (other than what was necessary) and I put my foot down about having BM's nephew at my house during visitation. SS13 is still undisciplined and I definately don't look forward to him being here, but I could have worked with it.

DH got a great new job, making really good money with an old acquintence of his. Things were really looking up. Then DH decides - hey - why not start drinking again THE NIGHT BEFORE WORK. And hell, why not drink vodka straight from the bottle? He has literally been doing midnight liquour runs (I can hear him leave) and passed out downstairs in the guest room since last Tuesday. I kid you not. So - I have the final judgement corrections made and will be at the courthouse tomorrow. The clerk says the final judgement will take about 2 to 3 weeks - just needs the judge's signature. I gave DH to the end of the month to leave and if he wants to spend that time passed out, then I guess he sleeps in his truck. March 1, I told him I will be pulling a restraining order if he isn't out of my house (already deemed my separate property in the default judgement). Sooner if he comes upstairs and bothers me and DD4. He hasn't up to now though - I am almost finding it interesting to see how long a person can actually sleep around the clock and drink without eating at this point.

Saturday is our second wedding anniversary - I am going to get a massage with my girlfriends:)

Redsonya's picture

Yep - it is truly sad. DH is a really good looking, very fit, charming, talented artist. He didn't drink at all when we were dating. I have hung in there with him for three years, through two stints in rehab, detoxes, AA meetings and sponsors, not to mention all the legal support and help I gave with BM. My dad last year called me "long-suffering" (sigh).

I will say though - that we've split up twice now (this will be the third and last time) and each time we do, I get an overwelming sense of relief that I will never have to see the skids, DH's family, or BM again. Over the past week, its just been me and DD4 and its been lovely! Clean house, peacefulness, just the two of us spending time together, and no interruptions with drama from SS13 or BM. It's been really, really nice.

BM will start crowing about the final divorce judgement to everyone and I am sure I'll get a mean, teasing email from her. No worries - just wait until DH has to support himself again. She'll NEVER get a cent out of him for support because he literally won't have it, there won't be a nice big comfortable house for her to dump SS13 and the horrible nephew off at anymore so her "dating" time will be non existent, and no laptop, fun trips, or other great stuff for SS13 anymore. The joke will be on BM and I bet she'll be wishing for the days that I was in the picture again.

RedWingsFan's picture

Wow, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help but going out with your friends should get your mind off of things. What a loser he is!

Burntoutsecondwife's picture

Why would anyone beat up on you about this? I feel for you! This sounds really awful, and I am sorry you have to go through this. I wish I knew why people acted the way that they do, but they never cease to amaze me!

Redsonya's picture

Because I have split up with him twice before this and didn't go through with the divorce. I kept giving him more chances. Stupid me.

dragonfly5's picture

Your relationship your rules, if you needed to wait until now, then that is your choice. No one can make you or help you end an un-healthy relationship. You will when you are ready. You are ready.

I have to give you credit for really trying. The sad thing is he isn't, and he is destroying his life.

I hope you are locking your bedroom door.

Hugs to you!