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Twit's Baaack...

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

So, after I thought, hoped, I had seen the last of her and DH had not heard from her nor had she returned any of the phone calls he did make, I get this invite in the mail.

One of our relations is getting married and Twit has decided to give her a shower featuring that pricey kitchen stuff she sells. Guess we are to attend and the bride-to-be will be there and she will direct us to what the bride wants or might need in this stuff.

Okay, this might be petty, but I find it very distasteful. I see it as a way to use us, and the bride, to sell pricey cookware etc. to benefit herself.

Sooo, I asked DH to call her about the invite, which he did, and ask if there is a family discount as we are family as are most of the people who are going to be there, and the bride will be family soon as well. Twit's answer....NO, no discounts. She feels that people would go out and buy something at other places for a regular shower so her stuff should be no different. Plus, we get to pay, individually, for the shipping (which is around $5.00 per order). She makes up to 31% on most items she sells along with other bonuses and perks.

I don't know, I just find this somewhat ickey as well as Twit manipulative to make a buck off us. I personally don't care for what she sells, but then I have Al-Clad (made in the USA and not in China like Twit's stuff I might add).

BTW, her relationship to the groom is an aunt through marriage (her hubby's brother's son is the groom). Neither DH nor I know the the father of the groom, or the groom well, and have only met the BTB twice at the most and will probably not even be invited to the wedding. The only times we have run into the father is a few, very few times at Twit's place in the past (probably about 3 or 4 times)

I guess I feel like once again Twit is trying to use me.

I don't just rubs me the wrong way

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

In fact, I don't even know why I was invited other than I am a breathing body that might spend $$$$ on what I consider overpriced kitchen stuff. It certainly isn't because Twit want's the pleasure of my company.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi outspoken. Well, the groom is only a relative through Twit's hubby's brother. We really don't know them - only have seen them the FEW (they don't show up a lot at Twit's affairs) about 3 times in some 19 years. Not any one we socialize, send cards to, etc.

That is why this whole invite is so absurd and comical.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Believe me, Twit isn't interested in my attendance, she just wants the sale. Basically, I don't even know the "relations" as they are on her husband's side.

I don't intend on going and will just send my regrets. I don't think I will be sending a gift as I really don't even know these people, we don't socialize with them, get together for Christmas, etc.

I guess I am just shocked at Twit using people to make money all the time. Heck, she isn't even talking to me as far as I know after our last encounter.

I guess I just never heard of this type of "shower" to begin with.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thanks Whimsey -- that is how I feel. I was shocked to even get an invitation to such an event. Tacky in the nth degree. She has no shame.

Note that Twit did return DH's call when it was about the stuff she is selling, otherwise she has been ignoring him.

DH says the same thing I do, we don't know these people very well. And, we have better things to do with our money that buy overpriced, IMO, cookware for someone we only know from seeing a few times over the last 19 years....about 3 times total.

I imagine Twit is going to be "hurt" that the evil, nasty stepmother won't spent her money for Twit's benefit. Too bad.

sixteensmom's picture

I'd find something else on the calendar quick and have to pass.
No way are you expected to attend a shower for twits hubbies brothers son... Or even twits hubbies brother.... Or even twits hubbies next wedding!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Ah, should Twit and her hubby split, I would attend any shower for his next bride. Her hubby is a real nice guy. But, he's the kind of guy that believe marriage is forever and will never leave. I had noticed for several years that he works real long hours and a lot of weekends. He is salary so he doesn't get OT for it. Avoidance comes to mind, but then what do I know.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yep, I find that strange as well. I guess, from the invite, Twit demonstrates the stuff and the bride chooses what she would like and we would get to buy the various pieces for her to est up her kitchen.

No outside gifts allowed. IMO this is really just a "party" for her cookware/kitchen stuff and the BTB is just, well just an excuse for it. Guess Twit feels family is a captive audience. That once the BTB ooh and aahs over a teflon fry pan for $50 bucks someone in the family should pick up the tab for it. BTW, Twit makes between 25-31% off of that fry pan!

Orange County Ca's picture

You're a Cheap Skate For Sure

OK OK just kidding. She really is a doozy isn't it? I'm sorry your husband called as it would have been better to not even respond. Just silence. If she called Daddy would have to say ...other plans that day.....

Now he'll have to catch a bug.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Honestly, OC, I just can't believe this Twit. Here, after our encounter earlier when she came by and cried about how I bought her nothing for Christmas ('cause she ain't my problem).

It's just amazing, which is why I had to post it. I couldn't believe it when I received the invite.

Oh, don't worry, I have no problem giving my regrets and even DH agrees, on this one, that we don't really know the people. If she complains, he says (at least now) he is going to tell her.

stepmonster_2011's picture

Wedding Etiquette indicates that no one NOT invited to the wedding should be invited to a shower (with exceptions for big church or work type showers).

You've met the bride 2 times? And you've been invited to a gift grab/salesy shower.

You are entirely in your right to politely decline.

AND - if you chose to attend, you are also entirely allowed to bring a gift or card of your choosing. Registrys are SUGGESTED gift ideas. NOT a shopping list.

Send your twit of a SD over to The Knot - those ladies will show her how completely obnoxious she is.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

wow! She really is a TWIT isn't she? For sure pass on the shower, and you don't even have to say why. Just send your regrets, end of story. None of her business why you can't make it. Let her wonder. Greedy little twit that she is.

queen-B's picture

That is one of the tackiest maneuvers I've ever seen, I had a boss once that invited employees to her housewarming party at Halloween; basically, dress up to amuse me, bring your own food and a gift for me and I'll let you see my amazing multimillion dollar home. On the scale of tacky, twit outclasses even her!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You are right, DH shouldn't have called, but I was just curious as to what was the deal with this alleged shower. Guess I wanted to know if Twit was running true to form with the me, me, me attitude.

Has any one ever heard of this type of thing before a cookware "party" being done as a shower? Call me old fashion, but I never....

Just thinking, I bet everyone gets an "update" on stuff the bride wants that didn't get purchaed at the shower with a note about what a great wedding gift it would make. Talk about marketing and using people.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Never heard of such a shower. Sometimes there is a theme, like all about bathrooms for example, but everyone buys from whoever or whereever they wish. It would be as if the hostess had a store and the theme is YOU HAVE TO SHOP AT HER STORE. Just would never happen. Twit is trying to be sneaky but I doubt she will have much success with her little money making scheme.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Actually, I don't really care. I was just shocked at the invite and the "shower" party.

I just have never ever heard of something like this in all my years, and they are many.

Sent the regret card back today (same day received)and didn't make an excuse. I don't feel I need to be polite to someone that just wants to use me to make a buck. Even DH was apalled by the gimick.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Na, I responded that I wouldn't be reason given. Just because Twit has absolutely no class doesn't mean I have to fall into her level.

This lame excuse of a sales party described as a "shower" doesn't bother me, but it does shock the begesus out of me. And I am always amazed when Twit shows me that what I know of her is right and that she can still go lower. Just amazing. But this is how Twit is. I can't tell you how many times in the past she tried to put the arm on me to hold one of these stupid parties.

She brags about how she writes off a good portion of her house expenses to "her business". She recently remodelled her kitchen and, because she is a sales rep that sells this stuff and occasionally has people in for demonstrations or throws open houses, is writing off her taxes a portion of the remodel. Same with the family room, new carpet, new flooring, have a few folks in to pitch to them and, since she used it for business, write a portion of the stuff off as a business expense. I guess that is a tax loop hole that our congressional represenatives should close IMO. Of course, a good federal audit would put the plug in a lot of that a retired CPA I know she is skirting on the edge here.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, Twit will not give up this business. She use to work for various companies and always got let go after 6 months, a year, etc. It was always "becaues the boss had a family member he wanted in the job" she claims. Yeah, right. When someone can't hold a job for any period of time, there IS a reason.

Anyway, with this stuff, sooner or later relatives, friends etc. start to run from people like this as they see them for what they are.

FWIW, Twit has suckered DH a few times into buying this stuff. Once, over a year ago, he was in the kitchen cutting up a chicken and she was watching him commenting that he needed a better knife (there was nothing wrong with the knife he had) and she had just the perfect knife for him and she, loving daughter that she is, would get him one. It actually sounded like she was going to give the knife to him....really..not a word about ordering one for him or even giving the price on what it would cost. He was shocked when the knife came, along with Twit and the BILL!!! Full price as well - as she told him....THIS is HER BUSINESS not a charity!!
She was telling him how this knife was worth the price as it was German steel but forged/crafted in China!!! Give me a break.

Now, when she starts that stuff, he, we, both will ask if she is giving us one or expects us to pay for it. I say it that way because it flusters her when she has to admit that she is "selling us". She is very cunning on how she words things, and gets so "upset" when called on it saying that she wasn't going to charge us, but when push came to shove she always did.

Now don't get me wrong - I am not looking for freebies from Twit or any one. I just don't expect to be looked on as a source of income for overpriced kitchen stuff. And I expect Twit, if she is selling, to be upfront about it and not act and talk as if she is doing something special for dear ole Dad.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I think it takes a certain type of personality to do this stuff. I mean you are constantly bugging friends, relatives and acquaintances to buy, have a party, etc. They seem to have no shame to begin with IMO.

I recall being at an auction about a year ago that Twit also attended and a very upscale woman, whom Twit would love to get into her group (fat chance), walked by. She said hi to Twit's hubby and me, but when Twit's hubby said Twit was around, she walked off quickly. Probably didn't want to get the arm put on her again. When Twit heard she was around, she was honestly perplexed that she didn't come by and say hi to her, and was visably looking around for her!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi step - The "shower" party is actually a party featuring ONLY the stuff Twit sells. Nothing else. Twit will demonstrate the stuff and, as I understand it, the BTB will choose what she wants pots, pans, baking items, etc., and the guests are EXPECTED to buy what the BTB wants for her for the "shower". Of course if guests want something for themselves they are also free to purchase items.

I mean, REALLY! How low can one go.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Forest - Twit knows the groom, she is his aunt through marriage When she first started this biz she put the arm on all the relatives. Living, then, a distance away I always got a catalog from her but I don't order as I don't care for the products, the high price, and the fact that they are made in China (I try to buy US products when I can). Of course, this tees Twit off because I don't subsidize her business but too bad, this is a free country.

Heck, if I threw parties and bought the stuff I would probably be her BESTEST (phony) friend in the world as long as she was making a dime off of me.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Forest - How kind of you...thank you. Yes, it IS helping to take the veil from DH's eyes about what Twit is. But then I imagine it is still hard as Twit is his daughter. Sometimes I can't believe he can be as naieve as he tends to be concerning her actions, but then it is probably tough to admit your daughter is an arse.

Ah, you mentioned the frozen pizza incident. Well, Twit doesn't go out of her way on any of her parties, 4th of July BBQ, etc. She does the absolute bare minimum (cheap, cheap, cheap). She will serve hot dogs, no more than 1 per person, 1 bag of chips or tostia chips, and one bowl of some kind of bean salad or potatoe salad. No pop, no beer (for those that like a brew), but she does serve powdered lemonade, kool aide, etc. Yet a dinner for her family will include the whole menu, salad, drinks, potatoes, meat, fruit salad, dessert, etc. You get the jest. She is a total cheapy except for herself. Generally, when you invite folk over for a get together, you offer more than just the bare miniumum. And as far as a holiday dinner, like Christmas dinner, you certainly serve a dinner not frozen pizza!

Heck, when my daughter has us over before we moved down here, she would serve ham, sweet potatoes, corn, salad, biscuits, fruit salad and a dessert and there was always plenty to go around and for seconds.

With Twit, after I ate my few slices of frozen pizza, that was it. Thank heaven we had great leftovers from Chrismas eve at our house to go back to. Though, I am certain that the real meal came out later, after she got rid of us. As I, absolutely no class or manners.

In fact we have dog sat for her several times and haven't even got a thank you much less offering to take us out for a cup of coffee etc. I was starting to dread hearing her on the phone because I knew she wanted something or she wouldn't bother with us.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Wow, Forest. Sorry to hear about your medical situation. Glad to hear about your upcoming grad in go lady! Sounds like, with the exception of your SD, your hubby loves you very much and is very supportive. Lucky lady.

Regarding Twit, that is what disturbs me about her, thinks just don't fit right. Now, I am no psychologist, but I have long wondered. I mean it can be one thing to deal with kids that are brats, but Twit, well, she seems to have regular SD problems with an addition.

I mean, what kind of person offends you, hurts your feelings and when confronted and told how you feel about what she did does a half backed apology and THEN says "okay, now you apologize to me"??? For what? I didn't hurt her? It is like she just doesn't get what she does to others YET she is offended at almost everything. And, she actually got angry because I told her I wouldn't be apologizing to her for that incident as she was the one that hurt me, not the other way around. She just fails to get it.

I have seen her fly into a foaming rage while on the phone with a bank and then start making up things blaming me (as I was the only one around) for all kinds of things that I didn't do. On this instance I was at the kitchen bar reading and drinking coffee, MMOB. She came walzing through with her cell phone screaming into it etc. I just kept reading. She accused me, later, of deliberately following her around easedropping on her conversations!

She takes things her family does personally, as though they did it to HER. Her one son got involved in drugs and actually got caught with them in his car at the school. She was all atizzy because she was so concerned about what people would think about her, how cold her son do this to HER! Heck, my first and only conern would be my child and what could be done to get him off the road to ruin so to speak.

And yes, in the past I made concessions for the nutty behavior, but there comes a time when enough is enough. She brags about taking various antidepressants etc. When she explodes at her father she uses the excuse, later, that she was off her meds, that the refill didn't come in time, etc., cries, etc. I don't buy that. She doesn't believe in counseling etc., as there is nothing wrong with her, but she pops pills. She KNOWS what she is doing and just uses excuses for terrible behavior. She might have problems, but there is something else that is disturbing. The way she goes after people for nothing, the way she imagines slights about everything and expects us to apologize, being greedy, self-centered, and selfish. There is something wrong with someone who takes and doesn't know the meaning of the words Thank you, but expects more and more.

Perhaps that is the reason her hubby stays with her....he knows she has problems. Don't know. I do know that he doesn't approve of what she does to me and on many an occasion has apologized for her behavior.

To be absolutely frank, Forest, Twit scares the begesus out of me as one never knows where she is coming from or what she will do.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Forest - No, you are not talking about yourself to much. I find myself admiring your attitude toward your situation, your parents, children and hubby. I could sense in your writing that your DH was extremely supportive of you and cared and that is GREAT! As I said, you go lady, graduate, get on to grad school and enjoy life.

Jsmom's picture

This is the oddest type of shower I have ever heard of. Talk about exploitation...Do not go...

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You won't believe this, it shocked me! My daughter called me this morning, it seems that Twit actually sent her an invitation AND catalog to this "shower" too!!! DD doesn't even know who these people are! She wanted to know if it was someone that I knew and that perhaps, she should send a gift. Guess she is to pick something out of the catalog and order it before the shower date so the BTB can choose something else....this, I guess, because DD lives out of state!

I told her didn't really know them, not to bother and responding was up to her but I had no problem if she didn't bother to respond at all. When I told her what was going on with this "shower" party she commented the same as the rest of us....T-A-C-K-Y!

I really just can't believe this nonsense. Guess it is pretty clear what Twit is looking for.....cha-ching......well, not from us, no way no how.

Told DH and he was pretty disgusted that Twit went so far with this as to invite my DD. DH said Twit was way out of line (hurray!). Kind of glad now that Twit did this as it shows to DH just what a piece of work she is (in case he is still trying to be in denial about her). He says he is going to talk to her about this, but who knows if he follows through or what he would even say. Perhaps something like "please keep YOUR business out of our family life". And, knowing Twit that would pizz her off royally.

Bet we ain't the only ones teed off by this blantant rouse of a "shower". Oh, BTW, the person throwing the "shower" for the BTB is (drum roll here) Twit. I'd like to know, just because I am nosey right now, who else is really going to be there, but as I said, I don't know his family well enough to call them about this or inquire.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

LOL!!! You are so right about that Forest. That is just what it seems like. You know, doing something like this could really hurt her "business". I don't do these parties, nor do I go to them. Never have in my long life, but that is my personal opinion. But I do know others who don't like having the arm put on them to buy something.

Say, I wonder what is going to happen to these type of parties, now that that new "credit card charge" is going into effect. I know Twit has one of those square thingies you use on your phone to process credit cards. Wonder if Twit will continue to absorb that 4% or make the buyer pay for that as well if they use a credit card?

Towanda's picture

narcissist pure and simple!
The nerve! That so sounds like something my SD would do too!
Remember the story I told about the "book party" ?(you know, the one where you don't actually host the party but make all your friends and relatives pay an exhorbitant amount of money to buy your crap) She guilted everyone into thinking she was going to donate all the profit to the cancer society in honor of her dead mother. Turns out she needed to have 5 parties in a month to get a free trip to Hawaii.
I am sure other invited guests are going to think the whole thing is tacky too! I would!

hereiam's picture

This would just be embarrassing. I hope an actual friend of the bride-to-be will be throwing her a real bridal shower with people she actually knows.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I wonder how many of her hubby's family will actually show up. I know the ladies don't particularly care for Twit and they don't show up that often for Twit's various B-BQ's etc.

To show you what they think of Twit (these are Twit's hubby's brothers wives), when the Mother passed, the women got together, with the blessing of the Father, to divide up the jewelry.....all the stepdaughters and biodaughters. The only one not notified guessed it.....Twit.

Twit cried to her father about this when it happened but said that fortunately, the Father picked out a watch and a ring for her but she was really ticked. My DH thought that was just terrible of them to do that, but I, well I guess I could understand them. You see, Twit is always looking for something for free. When the Father downsized afterwards, Twit helped herself to what she wanted that was for sale at his garage sale. She didn't pay or offer to pay a dime for any of it. When one of the daughters suggested that she should give the Father something for the stuff, Twit was all insulted!!!!

And, as I have indicated before, Twit is already watching things because the Father is in bad health and Twit wants to make sure she gets hers. Seems the oldest daughter is executer and has POA, and this peeves the daylights out of Twit. I know, as a fact, the oldest daughter has no use for Twit, she made that pretty clear the few times I met her. Said she always felt that Twit had an attitude and she had to walk on egg shell around her or she would cry to the Father and her husband about being slighted and insulted. Say, sounds like the same ole same ole at that end too.

Makes my skin crawl just thinking what a self-centered money grubber she is. Glad all my stuff is tied up tight for my daughter.

sandye21's picture

Can you just picture the new bride in her new home, empty of everything but kitchen gadgets? Your SD is really doing the bride a dis-service. As many here have stated, few of those invited will show up to something so contrived and self serving to your SD as this 'shower' is. I sincerely hope for the bride's sake that someone else wants to give her a real bridal shower.

If you want to go to the shower, purchase the chapest thing in the catalog and eat well. Then send a gift card.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I just can't believe the Twit. Today I got a letter in the mail (she is blocked from my e-mail after she started problems between my DH and I and was sending me some nasty stuff) saying that this is my last chance to get something for the bride-to-be. Included was a list of things the bride still would like.

Ha, ha, ha.....I could only laugh and shake my head. She is still trying to get us all to spend money with her. I called my DD and she got one as well. There is no way we are going to buy anything from Twit, or buy for a person we really don't even know.

Also, she can't answer her Father's phone calls, but she can send this stuff out looking to make a buck off us.

Showed the letter to DH who was a bit surprised by the blatantness of it. He said he expects to eventually hear about how terrible we are, not buying stuff from her. He usually does.