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I feel bad about this, but I can't help it....

dledden's picture

Yesterday I took ss8 to the podiatrist. he has hyperpronation of the feet, yet ANOTHER medical issue that nobody's ever noticed or discovered in this kid for 8 fucking years that I noticed and made an appt. for...........anyway, the doc was especially young and hot by the way, hahahaha.....anyhow, he starts asking me as "mom" about whether or not I have flat or collapsing foot arches. I VERY VERY VERY quickly and abruptly pointed out to him that I was NOT BIOLOGICALLY connected to this kid in ANY way, but that his dad doesn't have flat feet and that I have no idea about his bio mom's feet.

I consistently feel the need to practially SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS that this annoying child is in no way biologically connected to me.

Last night I was at my son's baseball game and ss8 came over from stimming on the playground to come over and sit next to me on the bleachers, and stim really loudly by making moaning and groaning sounds at his hands up in his face and jerky movements all over the place. Right next to me.....He is almost 9 and still stimming constantly because nobody seems to know what to do about it with him. I could feel all the eyes of everyone around me STARING at him, then, of course at "do something with that fuckin kid" kind of feeling is what I got. I WAS MORTIFIED. I don't know what to do. I told dad about how I felt at the game last night because ss8's getting too old to behave this way in public and he angrily shouts back at me "well if you tell him to stop, he's not gonna listen"...

I am at my wit's end....being around this child more and more is driving me insane....thanks for listening to me vent!!!

herewegoagain's picture

I'm a bio-mom and the stimming even drives ME nuts sometimes. The best thing you can do is get him an iPod with his favorite music. Many times this type of stimming is because of way too much stimulation and their bodies cannot process it all. My son used to do that ALL the drove me nuts. Yes, it's horrible for them, yes it's horrible for us because people do look at us like MAKE IT STOP and we can't. Sadly, the kids reallly can't either. They are truly the victims in this whole thing.

But really, get him an iPod or cheap MP3, let him put his favorite music on it and take it everywhere you go...have him listen to it and it will truly help him feel calm. All that noise of people screaming, etc. are what is setting him off the most...really. Also, sunglasses are great for these kids as sometimes the bright lights bother them too. Do a bit of research on auditory processing might find out more tips.

PS - Tomatis therapy helps them or so I am told. It is pricey and there are other therapies like that, that many swear by...

PS - by the way, thanks for your post too...I have been saying that my kiddo's feet when he uses flip flops are a bit off and NO F#$%#$%ing doctor ever really cared...they just said, "oh, he's fine". I just googled what you stated and although I have focused on the freaking autism, etc...I am thinking my kiddo might actually have this too...sigh...freaking j!@@#$#$%c! What are they doing about that?

Invisible Woman's picture

I can completely relate. My SS's behavior is getting so bizarre and embarrasing. He acts like he's autistic but he's not. He wanders off, he doesn't talk. He rolls around on the round throwing temper tantrums. His BM is from a foreign country and never really taught him how to behave. It's fairly obvious he's not my biological child just because of his looks, but I get a lot of people assuming he's my adopted child. I resent having to spend so much time on his problems since that's time that takes away from spending with my own children.

I worry that SS knows how I feel about him and that he can sense it and that's part of the reason he's acting up and feels so isolated. But I can't help how I feel. I don't have any solutions but you're certainly not alone in feeling this way.

dledden's picture

I think i'm a pretty good actress when it comes to ss8. He may sense my tensions where he's concerned, but he's still pretty socially inept, so he may not have a clue. I'm hoping that as he gets older, like most kids, he won't want to have anything to do with me and he'll pretty much just stay out of my way. Gods blessing that I pray for all the time Smile