Thanks you guys! I feel better already! My DH has two daughters, 22 and 18. The 18 YO is still under visitation and she's fine. The other one I think is going to end up borderline like her mom. Yes, BM has been diagnosed borderline. Great, huh? Truly is a crazy ex. SD22 just flunked out of college (this after 8 semesters and earning 58 credits). So, she's mad that we said that we wouldn't pay and that she had to get a job. She says she refuses to come live with us. Is it wrong to say, GOD I pray she keeps that!!! I don't want her there. She constantly lies and whines and takes no responsibility and blames everyone else. DH and BM have been divorced over 2 years, and BM and SD22 still go on and on and on and on and on about how crappy their life is, that they are victims...get the picture? After two and a half years (not to mention BM is one who left), shouldn't you have moved on with your life? BM is stuck at the moment she left. She liked all of the attention and she continues to try to get it. She has adeptly trained SD22 to do the same.

I am finding that it is a fine line to walk with DH and my dislike of SD 22 and I really don't like the stress this causes. We have been married for only one year. He lets SD22 keep behaving badly with no repercussions. It's true, I'm not a parent, but I know she shouldn't be treating anyone the way she treats him and I told him he could allow her to treat him anyway he wants, but she's not treating me that way. We have gotten her gifts for Christmas and her birthday, but she says she's not coming over to get them. We'll see if he sends the gifts with SD18 or not. I don't think we should. He didn't get her anything last year because she was such a b**** to him and he has felt guilty ever since. I think it was one of the best things he could have done. Anyways....I want to take the gifts back!

I am so worried about her moving in. Her BM refuses to work and lives on $2000 a month of alimony and child support, so I can't see her mother letting her move in. She's actually told SD22 that "I've got my own life to live, you're on your own." And SD22 still believes every word she says and spends time with her, says she can do no wrong,etc...after we have paid tens of thousands of dollars for college, paid for her car, paid for her food, pay her lazy mother every cent she gets and she doesn't even acknowledge anything. SD22 will only come over if she wants something, then says she was forced to come over. Oh yeah, they all spout all of this Christian stuff and act like they are saints and then act like they do. Gives Christianity a really bad name. The only times we see her, she is griping about something or whining about something. Last time we were with her buying her $150 worth of groceries and she was whining about DH wasn't taking care of BM!!! He did tell her that that responsibility ended when BM left him and filed for divorce.

I am just so very tired of all of this drama and am starting to get depressed. This poor behavior has gone on the whole time we've been together. I try to tell DH how hard it is to deal with all of this insanity. We even tried counseling, but he ended up talking the whole time and I didn't feel like I was getting much out of it, so we stopped. I just feel like if he would not put up with the crap instead of feeding it that we wouldn't have this trouble. SD22 would have accepted things and would act better. He said she never acted like this before the divorce and obviously must have the guilty father thing or he wouldn't let her act like this now. Why does divorce give her the right to act like that?

By the way, I've been a stepmom before. My first husband had two sons, roughly the same age these SD's are when we first got married, so I've been through this part of teenage/early adult with two boys. I think sons are waaaaaaay easier than daughters. We never had any problem. Of course, their BM wasn't wacko either and we were all able to get along. I'm still friends with them, and even their BM.

Ok. I think I'm done with my long rant. Thanks for "listening"!!!