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Is he being a good father or just an overly involved one....

Newbie_step's picture

So guys... please hear me out...

I got married to this great guy... at first I though wow... what a great dad... he has this great bond with his dad... I mean wow.... every time we spoke he was at his son's school... or doing stuff with his son.... so I fell in love with him... he's son is 10 and I love to pieces... however... now I see it... he is the overly involved parent.. I am a high school teacher and I can tell you he's the parent you don't want in your classroom... He has his son every day... and even though they shared custody with his crazy ass ex... he has his son even on her weeks.. they each have him every other week... so we have him every day.. he has his own business so he's time is very... very... flexible... so the Christmas season is his highest... plus if he doesn't work on the morning... he has to work at night.. and of course there is the I am so busy to do stuff around the house... or too busy to do stuff with you...... so we talked about his son's field trip... and how he's so busy.. and he has hardly ....time to do anything but work.... so today he goes to his son's school field trip.... is not only about that though... I mean he is soooo overly involved in his son's life... that he hovers... and treats him like his five.... I mean his son... only thinks of himself and how we are here to serve him... this has been the biggest and only issue in our marriage... I resent his son... and I am constantly fighting to have a place in his life. We actually go to counseling because of this issue... and because his son has issues.... and the counselor is trying to teach him how I should be a priority in his life.... and not his son... so I am running out of patience... and I know I see and catch every little thing.. that he does wrong... and I really try not to.... the counselor said I need to be patient.. and I am trying... but when he does these things... it really pisses me of....
His son feels like he is the king of the world... I am tired of him... he's a brat... I love him but geez.... I have my own two sons... and I don't remember them ever being this spoiled.... I am just soooo frustrated... and he doesn't see why it bothers me... he thinks it's me... looking really hard for issues to call him on.... I mean... he has made some changes ... but every time i say something like .. we need to make pizza automatically he says... oh... his son's name would like that too... is like... I am so tired of it... i want to barf... every time i hear his son's name... I mean... before me... it was all about his son....

harmony07's picture

i understand how this feels a lot, i have only been with my S0 for almost a year now and i like u fell in love with him because how much he cared for his SD5. Now i am seeing how much he babys her and you can tell she knows she has him wrapped around her finger, she is not a terrible kid but very needy and he almost always gives in, even when he is trying to be a good dad and put his foot down. I know that she is supposed to be the most important to him but should i have to feel like i am way less important? i also am trying to be patient, hoping he will learn and she will grow out of it. But i spend two days with these two and i wanna tear my hair out, constantly hearing play with me! do this and that, im hungry, carry me, put my seatbelt on for me, i want to sleep with you tonight, i have to go to the bathroom i need you to wipe me, will you get me something even though you are busy and u told me u are and it is something someone else or myself can easily get myself.........i am so sick and tired of it too, he is a great person and really does try sometimes but i am tired of being so stressed out and feeling so unimportant and thrown to the side and waiting for it to get better.

Newbie_step's picture

so here is the new one... he rented the resort we rented when we first got married.... we are bringing all the kids along.... he's comment is... so so.. (hence his son's name)will love it... never mind that we are all coming along... wth???? :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

Newbie_step's picture

so... I went out to get DH wine.. he was making dinner.... and I needed to get gas. I get back home and as soon as we sit down for dinner the conversation is between DH and SS10... SS10 says to me how him and daddy were talking about going to the movies to see the new muppet movie... then DH turns to me and says maybe this is a movie you would like to see to.... DH and I have had many discussions about him making plans with his son without me... I feel like the biggest bitch because I feel like I am the one looking for these kind of things to get mad or frustrated about.... I have asked DH to please not make any plans until we "The Adults" have spoken... Am I being a bitch????