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Shouldn't an almost 4yr old be able to wipe her own butt

littlemommy's picture

DH went to see SD at his parents house last night, apparently when he was there she announced so demurely that she had to poop, so he had to walk her to the bathroom. Once they get there, she then tells him she doesn't know how to wipe herself. Seriously? She is almost 4 yrs old and goes to daycare for God's Sakes, how in the hell does she not know how to wipe her own butt? This just really annoyed me and now all morning it has been SD this, SD that, comparing her to our perfect son, grrr.

littlemommy's picture

Oh and apparently when she was done she just bent her poopy butt over right in front of him, what the heck?

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

by age four, most children should know how to clean themselves after a BM. at this stage though, a parent should oversee this task to ensure child is doing it right. by age five they should be good enough at it to where potty time is now a personal task that requires very very little help (the occasional bouts of illness-induced dhiarea may require assistance).

BD5 is not fully potty-trained yet due to her disabilities. she does sure try though. she poops on the potty like a champ, but has a very hard time knowing when bladder is filled. we are trying many different techniques to help her realize when she has to pee, but due to her mild CP and prematurity at birth, some of the plumbing doesnt wor too well. she tries to wipe herself afterwards, but we do check to see if she did it right.

if your stepchild has no known disabilties prohibiting her from cleaning herself at all, then its just laziness on her part and her bio's part. i would refuse to do it and make her sit there till SHE does it herself, until such time she gets the drift and does it automatically.

Auteur's picture

She's obviously being babied by the BM (pun intended)

You'll have to teach her how as the BM (heh heh) wants her child to be permanently and purposely infantized.

littlemommy's picture

It's not just BM it's everyone, I do not get it! My IL's insist on referring to her as 'the baby', I thought that once our son was born that that might stop since, she is 1. no longer 'the baby' of the family and 2. bc she is nearly 4 for the love of all things good and holy!! Curiously enough they refer to DH's and I's son by his name, even tho he is the ACTUAL baby of the family :? :? :?

planningMyEscape's picture

She should at least be TRYING to wipe herself at this point. A lot of kids still need a little assistance to make sure they are really clean down there, but to not even try is totally different. She needs to learn how to do things for herself.

Disneyfan's picture

Why didn't dad just teach her how to clean her butt?

So what if she makes a mess.(That was DF's excuse for doing this. )
Wash the panties or toss them out and buy more.

Aeron's picture

Oh this drives me batty. My 6!!! yo niece does not yet wipe herself. Her mother tells me her little arms just can't reach back that far.. :? I think the child could darn well do it if someone made her. I've refused to babysit for the kid until she can wipe herself because I'm certainly not going to do it for her and EVERY time the kid comes to my house she Immediately has to go. I do not understand this at all...

Aeron's picture

Oh I agree completely on all points. But I have no desire to have the fight (because that is exactly what it would be) over this spoiled child. The way this kid acts, you would think she was someone's step, but she's not.... she's just an example of some very... permissive parenting. I've refused to hold family functions at our house mostly because of this kid. (and I don't want to post steal, so!)

Yes a 4 year old ought to be able to wipe herself, she just hasn't HAD to yet so she doesn't.