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How to find out if BM is working?

CaveCanem's picture

Short of hiring a PI (which I continue to consider...but every penny has to be saved for the attorney right now), how do we know if/when BM is working? Turns out she hasn't worked since 2008, used up all her unemployment benefits (and that coincides perfectly for when she planned this pregnancy)!!! She of course has herself listed as "zero" income, so she gets the max CS (almost $300 a week :sick: ). And we know she most likely won't work--although how all her bills are getting paid we don't know. The CS pays her entire mortage, plus leaves over at least $600 for the month.

She had claimed she was "unable to meet the child's basic needs" when she tried to get more money (and was DENIED), so we know she's hurting for money. But it's not like she's going to call us to say she's working--we know she wants to keep the max CS for as long as she possibly can. We do suspect she's working under the table, but no way to "prove" it.

How do we find out if she is working? There's no contact (the situation is a very difficult one--right now the no contact is for the safety of our family--it's sad but it is what it is) other than when she is sending yet another motion thru the courts to get more money. Come to think of it, we are overdue for something from her soon. Would she have to alert DOR? Could we go thru DOR to find out? Or should we go thru the attorney? She doesn't have an attorney; we just put a mini-retainer down on a new one. We are pretty certain she's not working, won't work, has no desire to work--she gets a lot of CS, government assistance, etc. Would she have to notify when she starts working? I'm sure she would "notify" us because she would try to use it as an opportunity to get MORE money to cover childcare...although the new guidelines wouldn't force my DH to pay additional for it.


sixteensmom's picture

I don't think she has to notify you. What you'll end up paying a pi or a tty to dig in probably will be more than she will ever get. Look at facebook and linked in. Mutual friends of dh would tell you. Small town people talk.

Ninja chick's picture

I'm going through the same thing right now. There claimming it will better the Childs life but what about there life here?!? Turns out the kids aren't even his but he wants them in his life so he's sticking around and still paying her! Trust me I am beyond mad about this. We are stuck living in a two bedroom apartment while she has a new car a house and CS plus him paying 100% of the medical bills because she won't get insurance for the kids and he is still required to pay 70 a month on top of the child support for help with the insurance. Then here I am helping raise two kids of a women I hate who trash talks me to my SD4 and I get treated like dirt by her! Sorry I know his didn't help but I had to vent.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Haven't these judges every heard of 'expected income' or whatever the phrase is....It's basically how much a person "could" make if working at their last job for 40 hours, because there's no reason you should not have a full time job when you are the breadwinner of a family unit.

Whenever BM mentions taking SO for support again because "hes lucky to be paying what hes paying and it should be a lot higher", he mentions he'll go for custody because she hasn't held a full time job for 4 years.

planningMyEscape's picture

This-I believe it is called potential income. Our BM doesn't/won't work, but she can't claim zero because of this.