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Ruling of Judge Confused

Baisy's picture
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I am really confused on the ruling the jugde this last family court. DH of waited a little over 6 months to file for more time with SS3 and they both went to mediation of course BM became the victim and requested to be seen separtely because of intimidation (BS) any how they went back was seen separately mediator did not give much hope to DH. How ever when we got the report we were surprised by the recommendation she actually recommended for DH to in crease parenting time to 48% yay!!!

That didnt last too long shortly before court date we got a letter from BM lawyer of course BM disagreed with the recommendation and wanted to cut down parenting time with DH even the sleep overs that we currently have and on top of that she wanted DH to pay for her lawyers fees and everything because DH keeps taking her back to court.Mind she has an attorney does not work is on SSI gets CS from DH. How can she afford an attorney beats me. DH has always been In Pro Per.

To make it short they went to court obviously both parties were not agreeing so the judge told both he will review and in 90 days will send out his judgement. We lost according to him DH had no reason to modify child visitation so it stayed the same. I don't understand the system why do they send you to a mediator in the 1st place disregard completely their recommendation you follow all the rules and regualations and say one does not have a reason where in this judgement is it in the childs best interest. Any advice? :jawdrop:

mom2five's picture

It sounds like the judge did not modify the existing order because your DH failed to prove that there had been a significant change in circumstance. I don't know what state y'all are in nor have I seen the judgment. But in many (most?) jurisdictions, in order to modify an existing order, you have to show a significant change. That can be a really difficult threshold to meet, even for an experienced family law attorney. Without an attorney, your chances are very slim.

mom2five's picture

I know absolutely nothing about CA law.

But if you are required to prove a significant (or substantial) change in circumstance, it means that you have to prove to the judge that there have been significant changes in circumstance that warrant a change. Family courts generally subscribe to the theory that if it ain't broke..don't fix it. Your husband and his ex agreed to a parenting plan. Your DH is asking to modify that agreement. He has to show that something has substantially changed (in his favor) if your state law has that in it's statute. And again, I don't know CA law. But if you look up the statute, you can see if there is such a requirement.

Baisy's picture

They were never married they were on and off for 4 yrs. The child just turned 3 years of age and they have been seperated since he was 3 mos old. Again why would the mediator recommend for a change DH did put a declaration stating now is he has a home and room for the child yes he works but he also has his mother that would be able to watch over the child while he works or me on the weekends. I almost see it as a punishment for him working but than if does not work how will pay CS it is almost a lose, lose situation for DH. Mediator told him until child goes to school full time that would be Kinder or 1st grade not to file anymore but than her recommedation did say otherwise so I dont if she saw throuh BM during the mediation.

mom2five's picture

The mediator can't make a decision. All a mediator can do is work with the parties to see if they can reach an agreement. The purpose is to seek a win/win solution. Mediation is designed to be less adversarial that court. The mediator helps the parties reach an agreement that they can both live with. In most states (not all), things that are discussed in mediation can't even be used at trial. Unless the parties reach an agreement, it's considered a failed mediation.

Was there a guardian ad litem appointed? Generally they are the ones that make recommendations to the court.

Baisy's picture

No nothing of that sort. I understand about the mediation I am amazed just the system work DH is always trying and even trying to avoid to higher an attorney due to BM pinning him with her lawyers this last time she was requesting DH to pay $5000.00 of her attorney fees when not once has he had one when they have gone to court and her reason is becuase DH is the one always requesting for more time due to the child is growing up and he would love to spend more time. Any advice from anyone to approach this in a better way? I am due for court myself I am afraid the courts may do the same thing my BD doesnt even gave me dime for CS and he wants more time with my kids and he even quit his job just so he wont have to pay and is getting paid under the table.So we are both dealing some special people. :O