You are here

Why can't we get child support?

misschristina95's picture

I just have a few questions. I am SM to three SK's. The oldest SK lived with us for a while, but now lives with her mom. The BF and BM have 50/50 custody. The oldest Sk is 17, she goes to school, works, and has a boyfriend, she does not spend any time with us. She sometimes attends church with us, but very rarely.
The other two kids live with us. The BM will barely ever see them. She makes LOTS of plans with them, but always breaks them at the last second. they are not allowed to spend the night at her house, because "they are not on the lease"... I know WTH, right? Anyway, so usually she will pick them up after school and then drop them off at around 7, maybe 8.
The oldest SK is always asking us for money for contacts and medication. Usually she will pay us some of the money back... but that is coming from SD, and NOT BM. We even bought the oldest SK a car, which she traded in because BM convinced her to, and now she is making payments on a car that is almost exactly like the one we paid cash for... she got about half of what we paid for it for the tradein.
So my question is... are we able to get child support from BM? We have all the medical bills htat we have paid for the oldest SK. We also hold the insurance for all the kids. My boyfriend says that if we take her back to court they will make him pay child support because he never sees the oldest kid. He works two and a half hours away from where we live so it is a tough situation right now.
My boyfriend says that it is difficult for a man to get child support from a woman. So I don't understand??? Why is it that we pay for everything... and we get no child support? When she had the kids when I first started dating him, he was paying almost twelve hundred. seven hundred for child support and the rest alimony. Even with that she got evicted from her house and had to move in with her boyfriend. She broke up with that one and moved in with her new one.
So why is it that child support systems will not allow men to get child support from the BM?

Stepmomtogirls's picture

I know that depending on the state, CS can go either way. And sometimes all it takes is to actually go down to the court to get it set up.

melis070179's picture

Depends mostly on income and who has the children the majority of the time. BM was ordered to pay child support when my DH had her son (she never did, but she was ordered). It is possible. If she make little to no money and you BF makes a decent amount, it may not work out to getting much. I would do the child support calculator online for your state first.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

Orange County Ca's picture

Your husband is wrong. But in family court, like any court, there are no absolute outcomes. All he can do is get an attorney and give it a shot.

If she is working or has any income its likely you'll get something for any kids living with you full time except for visitation. Does he have custody? If not I'd let it lie.


100 years from now it won't matter if you were successful in business, church or your social circle. But it will matter if you were important in the life of a child.

misschristina95's picture

Yes she works... for a while she was going from job to job but she has had this last one for about a year or so now. From what I hear from the kids she makes the same that I do. But they just cut her hours. But that is all just things that I hear from the kids.
They have 50/50 custody. I actually was just looking through some files and found where my boyfriend had her sign a statement that they were to pay 50/50 of all the bills for the children. Since they have lived with me for a year and on and off before that, the only thing she has ever bought the kids other then mcdonalds and fast food, was one night she was suppose to pick up the kids but at the last minute she called and said she couldn't... so later that night she came by with those sticky hands and gave one to each of the kids. I am not exaggerating. I have not seen her buy clothes or toys for the kids at all. In fact, a few years ago she told us she was getting the kids a handheld system from santa for christmas, so to go along with the present we went out and got some games they wanted for the system. Well turns out santa never bought the systems but the games somehow disappeared from our house. I wonder who got the money for those returned games???? HMMMM....
I just noticed your name; I used to live in buena park, orange county. Smile

buttercup123's picture

Talk to a lawyer in your state. They will know the law and be able to give advice.

Pantera's picture

My DH has sole custody and is supposed to get child support. Go file for it. If she doesn't pay, she'll get her license taken away, taxes get intercepted, liens get put on her belongings, and she could even end up in jail. If you don't have an order in place, you can't go for arrears so you need to go file now. They do tend to put men on the back burner, but if you stay consistent on calling the child support office, things will get done. Its taken 3 years in our case, but she still owes arrears and they are forcing her to pay now because if she's late or misses 1 payment she goes to jail.

use_2_b_sane's picture

It depends on the state. In my state they fig. cs by the actual overnights the child is with you. Then they take the parents income and basically split the diff. We have custody and pay for everything but because bm is a loser and won't get off her lazy a** and get a job we were going to have to pay her cs until he started kindergarden even though we have custody. When he started kindergarden She would then have to start paying us. So the court ordered no cs at all. We pay medical buy all his food shelter and care. Her portion for medical or anything for that matter is 25% in which case she will not pay. We spent more money in court fees and lawyers making her pay it then what it was worth. It is very hard getting the courts to make the bm pay. They may order her to but getting her to is completly diff. Btw the stupid woman tried sueing us for custody she lost. We had to pay for everything child study ect. and she was court ordered to pay us back her 25%. She filed bankruptcy on us and the courts let her. If the roles were reversed my husband would be in jail for contempt. I would contact the state child support services and find out the state laws where you live. Good luck your going to need it.