Morning Time Cuddling
My fiance Angie practiced "co-sleeping" with her son Jason when she was with her ex, Tom for years. When I came into the picture we both talked about it and agreed it was time Jason sleep in his own bed (he's 5 and a half). While we slowly weened him into his own bed where he stays all night now, he still seems to have a need to come in our bed once the sun rises, which is around 6 a.m. I walk him back to his room at that point but then he comes back in at about 7:30 asking to come in our bed again, which, at that point, Angie allows. That's when I wake up, but if he'd be put back to sleep again at that point, I'd sleep with Angie until at least 9, 9:30. I hate having to get up so early on the weekends but I just don't feel comfortable with the three of us in the bed, so I get up. In addition to that, I also feel that whenever Jason is allowed in the bed, being that he has no concept of time as a child, he's essentially getting his way with wanting to go back to the co-sleeping routine. I feel like it's sets back the progress we made when he's allowed in, even though it's technically morning. (This isn't a step-dad thing, I just believe it's so important in relationships for adults have their morning time in bed together and I'd feel the same way if it was my own son or daughter trying to come in our bed).
As part of the new court-mandated visiting schedule, Angie has to send Jason to Tom to sleep over there every other weekend so I understand she misses Jason now and this is a bonding thing. She actually told me she "looks forward" to the morning time cuddling routine with her son but I hate being "kicked out of bed." I understand they both enjoy that but I just wish Angie could lay with Jason during the day or at any other time. Or at least if it could be worked out that Jason be walked back to his bed in the morning at least until I wake up (I'd only ask for another hour or so with Angie for our "alone time," is that wrong?) I feel bad whenever I suggest ways to remedy this problem because I know it's not really a problem for Angie. I've suggested "midnight shades," be hung in Jason's room which are room darkening shades that go under the blinds to give the illusion that it's the middle of the night long after the sun rises. Should I push for getting these shades or push to talk about how the whole morning time co-sleeping routine in general effects me (and effects us as a couple) or should I just accept it and get up when Jason comes in our bed and let them have their time?