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SCARED TO DEATH

kim1960's picture

As I wrote in an earlier post my DH's 1st ex-wife is taking us back to court for an increase in child support for the 13 year old and maintenance and half the college expenses for the 18 year old. Right now he is paying $800 a month. He is paying another $800 in child support per month for a child by his second marriage. Well now my husband's neurologist has put him on full disability. Because of his disease (myasthenia gravis) he simply can no longer do his job and because of the effects of his disease the neurologist doesn't feel he can work at all. He has been battling this disease for almost four years and has kept on working even though there were times he had to take a taxi to work because he was so weak he was incapable of driving. So now his income is going to be cut to $3700 a month. By the time we pay taxes and the child support and for medical insurance (we will have to pay $190 per month to the state for insurance since he is on disability) he will have about $700 per month left. On top of that since he has to pay for half of all the kids medical expenses besides paying for their insurance and with his medical expenses (his prescriptions run about $200 per month just in co-pays and his plasmapherisis procedure that is done every three months adds another $100 per month to that) we average right at $500 per month in medical expenses. That will leave him about $200-$300 a month. We have his 23 year old son living with us (rent free) while he works and goes to college and my 19 year old daughter who works and goes to college. I make a whole $10.00 per hour. I just have no idea how we are ever going to make it. Plus we are racking up attorney's fees because she is taking us back to court wanting more money. I am just at a loss and my heart breaks for my husband who tries so hard to have a somewhat normal life while battling this devastating disease. And to make matters worse, stress makes myasthenia symptoms worse and of course this whole situation is nothing but stress. I am just so afraid of what is going to happen to us, how we are ever going to make it and most of all what is going to happen to him. Do judges ever consider special circumstances like this? My husband will be unemployed through no fault of his own. Our medical bills are unreal. It is not that we don't want to pay any child support it is just that we need it set so that we have enough to live on and pay for his medicine and treatments. Once his disability starts (there is a 30 day waiting period where he will have no income at all) his ex-wives will be making more then he does. Actually the first ex-wife who is remarried will have an income more then double of ours when you consider her husbands income. Will a judge consider any of this? We live in Illinois if that makes a difference.

smurfy1smile's picture

I live in MN and in this state you can have child support reduced for a big change in income like going on disability)and since you have substantial medical bills to boot they can also be used to figure a reduction in child support. I am not sure if its social security or disability that child support cannot be deducted from. With such a great reduction in his income, I just can't imagine the court ordering him to pay more. I hope your attorney is filing a counter motion for a reduction of child support. If this case gets lowered, I would try to get the other case lowered also. You can only afford to lose so much income before it gets really tough.

Sasha's picture

This is a medical hardship and you should petition for a decrease in CS for both kids and no maintenance / college expenses. This is not a decrease in income by choice. Any judge who would grant an increase in CS in this case should have their head examined.

Most Evil's picture

If the man cannot work, he cannot be expected to pay such incredibly high child support - that is outrageous already-!!

What kind of person would pursue something that will damage you guys so bad?? oh wait, I know, we have one too - I will pray this is straightened out for you guys and what a pain for you to have to go thru all that to do it-!!

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

TheSaneOne's picture

Get your disability papers, letters from docs, co-pay and medical expense receipts, etc. get EVERYTHING documented. I don't believe IL will consider a spouse's income. File immediately for the reduction, request emergency hearing (or BM will drag it out) and file for hardship for the filing fees.

everythinghappens4areason's picture

Hubb gets 500 per month for disability..yep, you heard that right..woopee! We just finished going to court and he has to pay 59 mth for support out of that money...his ex makes 40,000 per year plus 556 mth for baby bonus. Out of this remainging $ hubby has; presciptions have to be paid....so he is able to contribute apprx 325 a month to the household...and the BM if furious over what she receives for support. She thinks he should have to pay more....I guess she does not comprehend that he needs to eat something in the month. She figures that because I have to support the family to keep things afloat...all the disability $ should go to her because as she states....the children are suffering.

I on the other hand have had my hours cut back from 50 a week to 26 (& my wages are nothing close to what she gets), I didnt think it was possible to cut back any further than I have, but there has been no choice in the matter. I am desperately seeking other employment but to no avail yet. Just have to pray that my higher power will take over and somehow we will get through.

My heart goes out to you. Sometimes judges (wait....most time judges could give two shits about the father, their concern is that the kids dont do without....doesnt matter if hubby has enough to live off of even in poverty) will actually have a heart and look at the entire picture, but most often they really dont care. Best of luck to you & your family.

Corie