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Graduation Party

luvmykids's picture

Not sure if this is the right spot to do this, I am new here. Anyways, please let me know if I need to ask questions elsewhere.

my son (actually step) is graduating high school. We are only having a small family/friend get together at our home. Bio mom decided to show up (uninvited) to his siblings graduation year before. Very uncomfortable. This year we are making sure bio knows she is not welcome or invited. We dont get along and never have in 12 years (my husband and her really dont get along). I just dont care for her because shes always been rude to me for no apparent reason. I love my kids and want to celebrate their graduations with them, not her. I dont care that she attends graduation, just not my party. Is that unfair?

BIOMOM's picture

Anyone who comes to YOUR house, UNINVITED, and is rude to you should be told that they are simply NOT welcome.

Look, I am only a biomom. No stepkids. However, what would ever make me think that I could show up at my son's party given to him by his father and other mother?

Since it is just your families and friends, is it really necessary to let your son know which day the party is? My son just graduated from high school and I was kinda thinking of just having him a party and letting him know on that day. He doesn't want a party, but I DO!!!!
I didn't get thru 13 years of making lunches, tying him to a chair until his homework was done, baking cookies, building clay figure volcano's that blow smoke, cut and paste felt squares, drag my ass thru more zoos than I care to mention, and NOT have a party. I deserve the party!!!

Anyway, my son is pretty clueless. We could be rolling a keg in the backyard, putting up a party tent, setting up the DJ and he still wouldn't get it. So that's the route I'm taking. He be here, like it or not!

Good luck!


luvmykids's picture

Thanks for re-assuring my thoughts. And no, son did not want party and have not told him we are having one, BM will find out I am sure.

OldTimer's picture

That way, you'll get your party, he'll be surprised and won't know or realize there's a party going on... could have him stay with a buddy the night before or have a buddy take him out to a movie while your guests are arriving and that way, you'll have plenty of hands to get things ready for the evening. This way, BM won't know until after the party... that will be a surprise.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Mary's picture

When these celebrations come up make them surprise ones! So BM actually crashed your last one, wow ours wouldn't have made it beyond the front door but thats another story. Nothing you can do about a public graduation except sit far away from her. We were in that situation once, and sat on the other side of the room and pretended she wasn't there. Of course you shouldn't feel guilty, you or your husband do not have to talk to her ever if desired.

luvmykids's picture

Believe me, it was all I could do to bite my tongue when I pulled in and realized BM was there. Anyways, did not want to make a scene so just let it go and ignored her, not this time though. I want and deserve to share this with my kids w/o her presence that's why we are not saying anything until the party starts. Crossing my fingers BM gets it this time....