i finally blew a nut
i did it. i finally came unglued. i did not approach one damn topic in a way that i should but i let out alot of steam. I told him that "normal" fathers to not feel up their 17 yr old daughters ass, that they do not play "kissy face", that they do not flirt nor allow the daugther to flirt, that they do NOT NOT NOT involve their children into their personal lives and they certainly do not plant them smack dab in the middle. whew.....he did not get it. He argued. I told him to ask his good friend if "he' feels up his 16 yr old daughters ass. b/f got real quiet...didnt answer me. I can't take this any longer. I met with his older daughter last night and bless her heart,,,she complained..without ever disprectiing or trashing her father or brat ass sister. That poor girl was basically run off. I don't blame her one bit for packing up at 16 and gettting the hell out. Shit, as an adult i cant take watchin him fawn all over the younger daughter. It truly is sickening. It's incest without the physical crap. I am so pissed and freaked. I have no place to go but do NOT want to be here. I can't even stand to look at him. Anyone looking for a roomie? lmao
OMG,,,thanks for letting me vent some of this out. I really needed to do that
This sounds serious...
Have you ever considered therapy? I mean, this behavior is affecting the family in more ways than one, and it's not normal at all.
That's her father... and it's totally inappropriate. Have you ever considered sitting down and talking to the daughter herself, and seeing how she really feels about it? Besides that, I mean, as much as we would all like to turn a blinds eye, but what happens when they are alone? No one knows but those two... so it could really be a serious issue here.
Perhaps go to the bookstore or library and get some books on incest itself, see if you can find some contact information where you can get some professional intervention help or something.
He may very well think it's all innocent, but the reality is that he is damaging his own daughter's ability to function in a healthy relationship in the future with a future spouse. Something has to stop now.
I think you should try to sit down and calm, rationally talk to him in a neutral environment. Let him really know how you feel, and really keep the emotions buckled down with this one. If you can point out solutions, and help him realize what he's doing, he may recognize that there is a problem.
The other thing that I suggest is that when you notice his unappropriate behavior, don't bash him, or sculled him like a child, but merely, walk up, smile and be polite, calmly move his hands/arm to an appropriate position, and continue on what you were doing. By physically reenforcing... hey, this isn't correct, he may start to get it- physically. If the daughter is sitting on his lap, than maybe you can suttly say... SD, would you like a chair? I can get you one if you like. By changing your reactions to his behavior, he may in turn change his behavior without even realizing he is... if that makes sense.
The scary part isn't what
The scary part isn't what you actually witness him doing, it's what you can't see that he's thinking while he does it. I'd be so gone.
~ Anne ~