Are Ann's Rose-Colored Glasses Slipping?
Ann and I met for dinner last night, and I think she finally may be slipping into reality. At least a little. Knowing Ann, she's still going to do exactly what she set out to do, but I think some realizations are setting in. I'll try to keep this as short as possible but, boy, she let loose quite a bit last night.
First, she talked about how her son, Chris, has seemed kind of quiet and withdrawn and hasn't been talking to her openly like he always has. I tried to get her to think about what's going on in Chris' life. It's always been just the two of them, as long as he can remember, Now he's been thrust into a "new family" where there's a man and two other kids, they're together all the time, spending the night at Tom's house, going on vacations together. It's probably hard for him. It's a huge change. "Oh, well, he LOVES Tom, and the kids are going to be his brother and sister." How can he LOVE Tom? He's known him about four months. And these kids are NOT going to be his brother and sister; they MAY be his step-siblings, and there's a HUGE difference. Think about it, Ann. And while you're at it, think about this too- all you ever talk about anymore is Sailor Talk Mary and once in a while, her brother. You never talk about your own kid anymore. She really didn't have a response to that, but the wheels were turning.
Stop shoving this "new family" down your kid's throat! She's utterly convinced that her son will never want to live with his dad because they're not close, but this will send him running in a few years.
Next, she talked about an incident that happened over the weekend. She and Hottie were upstairs doing...whatever while the kids were downstairs playing. Sailor Talk Mary pounded up the stairs, pounded on the door, and yelled, "Those guys are being TOTAL ASSHOLES down there!" Did Hottie address his snowflake's language? C'mon, you know the answer! So they went downstairs, and Chris said that Mary had kicked him in the shin because the boys were "ganging up on her." He now has a fist-sized bruise on his shin. Was this addressed. Yes! You bet! Hottie gave his daughter a "talking to" and sent her to her room for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Bet she never acts out again! And Ann wonders why her son is withdrawn?
THEN...bear with me, Ann had a lot to say last night...Ann was talking about how she is always taking Tom's kids here and there, she goes to all their soccer games, she does things for them and buys them stuff, but Tom has never once asked to go to one of Chris' sporting events. He's never offered to spend one-on-one time with him, nada. "isn't that a bit one-sided?" she asked. Duh, you think so? If he's not making as effort NOW, in the beginning stages of the relationship, you know, when he's supposed to be impressing you, what makes you think that's going to change? Hello, Hottie can't parent his OWN kids. What makes you think he wants to take on someone else's? What do you think you're around for, NANNY? Also, Hottie has only been to Ann's house THREE times. Yeah, that's a bit one-sided.
And finally, she dropped the little nugget that Hottie HAS NOT HAD A JOB for the past eight months! How he's paying for his house and feeding his kids, I don't know, but this is a guy who (supposedly) has an MBA and (supposedly) has worked high-level jobs in respectable corporations. He's "holding out for the one position at the one company he really thinks he deserves." :O :O :O
Sounds to me like he's super lazy parent and narcissist who wants a nanny and a woman to support him.
Ann's got some thinking to do, but I know Ann. She's going to do what she's going to do. She's not using birth control, and if she wants THAT to be the father of her next kid, so be it.
To be continued, I'm sure....