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Conversations in StepHell

Ninji's picture

SO has been talking about going to TN to see his mom for years. That's all, just talking.

In the car on the way to work today
SO: We really need to think about getting up to TN this year. We can take the truck
Me: Ok, whatever you want to do
SO: Well we can take the car but the dogs will have to sit in the back with the kids.
(I never let the dogs sit with the kids)
Me: I don't like the dogs in the back with the kids because they fight over them and SS chokes the dogs.
SO: (Looking in the back seat and starts to get an attitude) He will be right behind us. He only chokes them when we can't see him. If the dogs can't sit in the back then they can just stay here.

I didn't respond. I'm not going to argue about a fantasy trip that isn't even planned. I just find it funny that he gets pissy with me because his kid can't be trusted around animals.

Just another conversation in stephell


another step's picture

OMG - that jumped out at me too. His father is just accepting that SS CHOKES ANIMALS????? Seriously - holy crap! He must know that it is not a big leap to doing the same to people once he gets bigger and stronger, right? Sorry girl but I don't know which is scarier - what SS is doing or his father's apparent acceptance of it.

Ninji's picture

He got into trouble last year for choking a girl while they were practicing for the Christmas program. Apparently, she wasn't listening to what he was talking about.

another step's picture

Do you mind if I ask what kind of trouble he got into? Are we talking law enforcement involvement or just being grounded? I am usually not crazy about jumping on the "he is a psychopath" train but it sounds like he needs some serious intervention before he does something tragic and irrevocable.

Ninji's picture

The school left it up to the girl's parents and they said as long as he apologized they didn't want to take it any farther. He was grounded at our house, I can't remember for how long and nothing at BM's house.

Last year was the worst but he has a long history how putting his hands on females in an aggressive way. From hitting to holding on to one girls arm so she couldn't walk away. And the violence with the dogs.

I have told SO that he needs to do something about SS. He is only hurting people/animals that are smaller and more helpless. He has never been in trouble for aggressive behavior with a boy.

So far this year, we haven't had any school reports of violence so hopefully he is stopping that behavior at school, but at our house he is no longer allowed to interact in any way with the pets. If he even looks at them, I tell him to get away from them.

another step's picture

That is really scary. In my opinion, the school should not have left it up to the parents. They have an obligation to keep ALL students safe and can not shove off that responsibility to members of the community. If SS ever hurts anyone else and they find out the school failed to take action, the school is looking at one hell of a law suit.

Do you feel safe yourself? Do you lock your door at night? Is his father in denial about his son's problems or does he just not know exactly what to do?

Ninji's picture

I am not afraid of SS at this point. I just have to give him a look and he stops whatever he's doing. Right now, He's afraid of me. I'm the only one that will punish his ass and not give in to tears and whining.

There was a post on here the other day about a Skid hitting the Stepparent and I told SO that if either of his kids ever put a hand on me, I'm calling the cops and getting a RO. He, of course, said well don't ever hit my kids. (I never have :? )

I don't know if SS sees it. Last year with all the violence at school, he seems be getting that SS had a problem. But this year since SS has only been violent (until I made the rule he isn't allowed to touch them or I'll do the same to him) pets and SO doesn't seem concerned about that.

Ninji's picture

Well I guess I have to take back the comment about SS not being violent towards anyone this year and not hitting boys.

I just got an email 5 minutes ago from SS's teacher. SS punched a male student in the arm because the kid ripped up some other students paper.

another step's picture

Damn! Sorry you now have to deal with that!! Maybe you can get your DH to do some reading or talk to someone. Abuse of animals during childhood is an almost universal precursor among adult violent offenders.

new to this's picture

That's what I was thinking, his mom, his kids, I would stay home with the dogs!! Smile I prefer my dog over SD any day!!

Ninji's picture

SO is the typical man. Leave everything up to the woman. I have no desire to visit his mom in TN. So as long as I don't plan anything, there won't be a trip!

Monchichi's picture

SO's mother lives 20 minutes from our house. I would still stay home and look after my dog before visiting her crazyness.

Ninji's picture

I did tell SS that next time he hurts one of the animals I'm doing the same thing to him and I'm gonna make sure it hurts. He has not been allowed to touch the animals since I told him that.

msg1986's picture

Such a sad and shocking comment from your Dh. Totally not a good sign that Ss is hurting kids AND animals. Yikes! Dh needs to open his eyes.