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Stupid it's over!!!!

just_tired's picture

I have no problem with DH and BM speaking about the kids even though she has no legal say in what happens with the kids and hasn't seen them since Sept 21st bc no one will supervise her dumb ass. I do have a huge problem with BM calling DH crying about everything under the sun and asking why they ever got a divorce...ummmm you screwed another guy in a public bathroom. Then crying because it shouldn't be me taking care of the kids it should be her, damn right it should be you but you went bat shit crazy and lost your kids through CPS in one state and signed sole legal and physical custody to DH and agreed to supervised visitation in another state. She also has now come to the conclusion that she's an alcoholic because she was now supposedly raped at the age of 8, but this was never mentioned to DH when they dated or married. The raped thing really pisses me off since I was raped at 15 and I can still be a functioning adult that can hold a full time job while raising my own son and her 3 children. Grow up and suck it up...life throws us all a shitty hand from time to time but you deal with it, pull your big girl panties up and take care of your own.

Thanks for letting me vent, now on with the rest of the beautiful Monday Smile

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HungryEyes's picture

I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that your DH is using this as an excuse. He's not alone. DH tried to pull this on me once.

"BM has been through so much though..." in regards to something that happened to her (a rape) in high school. She's written blogs about it. She's used it an excuse for her behavior in the past. She will talk to anyone who will listen about it. And I'm sorry that it happened to her.

But when DH said these words to me, it made me angry. I bit my tongue for days.

I've never told my husband about anything like that from my past but believe me, there are much darker things that I will protect him from forever. And I managed to maintain a healthy emotional state, take care of my kids, hold down a career, not guilt anyone, not go insane, not need attention, not be histrionic, etc. I'm a survivor, not a victim. I don't need to talk about what happened nor would I ever share it as a reason for people to pity me and offer me love and support.

I still hear him saying that sometimes, 'BM has been through so much...that's why she is the way she is.'

No, DH. No.

just_tired's picture

Oh I'm sorry BM is using this as new excuse to my DH (about the rape). BM says that's why she is a drug addict and alcoholic. DH isn't giving her any excuses. Sorry if I made it sound the other way.

HungryEyes's picture

At least he sees through it then. Mine didn't at first. Finally, I showed him and he felt like an idiot. I literally saw the light bulb go off and he realized she'd been using him all these years even after their divorce for her emotional validation. He was done after that. He was smarter about his conversations with her.

I'd tell her "You know, you're a drug addict and an alcoholic because you have disease. The disease is that you can't cope with life so you escape. But that's the decision you make. You choose to abuse substances because you hate dealing with life more than you love being a responsible good parent to your kids. No other reason.'

just_tired's picture

I'd tell her "You know, you're a drug addict and an alcoholic because you have disease. The disease is that you can't cope with life so you escape. But that's the decision you make. You choose to abuse substances because you hate dealing with life more than you love being a responsible good parent to your kids. No other reason."

^^^^^LOVE THIS^^^^^

I have told DH to tell her to shut the F up and hang up on her when she starts this stupid shit, I am over dealing with her damn drama we are way too busy with 4 kids to deal with all of this.