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Have times changed that much?

Bradymom's picture

My ex was investigated for 3 mo for molesting his stepkid. My attorney said there was NOTHING I could do bc it wasn't our kids... Seriously! His wife was court ordered to parenting classes. They had a baby, the baby tested for laxatives in system & the wife had depression following birth for months (currently) There's 3 separate social workers that come to their house for drop in weekly visits for at least a year & then to be determined. For the molestation & new concerns with the baby. As far as molestation, victim was young & the bio parents reached an arrangement & created a safety plan to keep my ex from child or allegations. It's seriously f'd up. All of it.

My question is- my kids say their dad has told them this is normal, having social workers come, that it's a protection for children & babies bc of all the mothers in news hurting their kids. Also said he wants that "service" for me to protect them. I told my kids that IS IN NO WAY NORMAL, but clearly I'm their situation necessary. They contend that their stepmom has had friends that have this also. Wtf??? Am I right or am I completely out of touch with normal?

Also. They HATE stepmom, but they believe EVERYTHING their controlling dad tells them. That's why they contend it's normal.

Comments

ENuff's picture

Wow justifying ~ and manipulation at its best.

How do parents come to an agreement on this topic ??? Id b out of my mind.

Bradymom's picture

Because of the age of the child & only going of his account of events (no physical evidence) the grand jury didn't put out an indictment. Because of mothers lack of concern she was ordered to parenting classes, the social workers come & my ex is not allowed to be alone with, or have any physical touch with child & custody was significantly modified. Time will tell. Sadly.

Bradymom's picture

I can't imagine reaching an agreement either... I'm up in arms bc I've been told there's nothing I can do for my kids.

Bradymom's picture

My DH--- he thinks it's absolutely heartbreaking for my ex's stepkid & he would love to get my biokids away from that hell of danger & control.

Bradymom's picture

Haha. Funny. My gut- I've tried to remain neutral, letting the investigation unfold. With that said, it's impossible to not look back at 15 years together & investigate everything in your memory, wondering if he did it to anyone in our lives while we were a family. And I have done that... & my gut says he did it & not only that but he did it to my child he adopted as a toddler. (Close to same age as current victim) I have many many reasons looking back. I believe it happened 2x. & with our biokids he REFUSED to change diapers but changed diapers of any other child in our life!

Also child he adopted doesn't stay night at his house. Stays at aunts & ex picks him up for day activities. This changed during investigation.

ENuff's picture

That's the momma intuition I was asking !
You know he did it ~ protect your kids at all cost. Get someone to hear you ~ that's heart wrenching just playing it all back in your mind I m sure. Raise some hell girl ~ you are your children's advocate ~ their only one.

Just seems his nonchalant behavior of explaining cps in the home ~ sounds like all Daddy's do this to their kids to show them that they love them in their own special way.

Bradymom's picture

We have 3 court dates on calendar. None for this. Attorney says my only hope for this is to have some of the situation come out in court-- it will get objected to, by his attorney & my attorney says just see what judges reaction is & if it looks like he is concerned the file a motion to modify after these 3 court dates. The issue is my ex has filed protection orders & the judge granted one- for the temp 14 days & when we went before him it was clear that ex lied & judge was not happy. He said no protection orders would be granted in future & warned my ex. Also said dragging kids into court would not be tolerated, etc. This plays into why attorney says nothing can be done. Attorney understands but perceived danger is not the same as danger. The law is to protect falsely accused & the predictor. It's not proactive.

simifan's picture

Contact CPS ASAP. Are their criminal charges pending?

Also I would consult a new attorney. I can't see this not being an issue to take to court.

Yosemite's picture

I can't believe that your lawyer would say it had to be your kids. I think you may want to consult with another lawyer. If you can show that he requires supervision with his current gf/wife's kids, then I can't imagine a judge refusing to give your children the same protection. I would ask for supervised visitation.

Bradymom's picture

In states. I've been told there is no danger to my children. Nothing I can do. The investigation is not active, the restraining order for the victim has been dismissed.

Bradymom's picture

In states. I've been told there is no danger to my children. Nothing I can do. The investigation is not active, the restraining order for the victim has been dismissed.

Bradymom's picture

In states. I've been told there is no danger to my children. Nothing I can do. The investigation is not active, the restraining order for the victim has been dismissed.