Sigh……I am registering Uberskank as MOTY.
Sorry for the length.
Small back story. DH gave DH’s kid an iPod touch for her 17th birthday. It was one of the few things given to her that she actually took care of and treated like she bought it herself. She loved it. Enter in Uberskank around February, who demanded (give it to me or you can’t drive my car) DH’s kid loan her the iPod to use in her car. When DH’s kid gets it back at the end of the day, it’s destroyed. Uberskank promised to buy her a new one. She’s still waiting.
DH’s kid turns 18 at the end of September. After speaking to DH, she asked her mother instead of replacing the iPod touch that she gets an iPhone to be added to their phone plan. She explained Dad said he would pay the initial costs for the phone for my birthday and she (DH’s kid) would pay the $20-$30 a month cost. Uberskank agreed. Fast forward to this last weekend. Uberskank was supposed to call her carrier to allow DH’s kid to upgrade her phone to the iPhone, so DH to pay for the initial costs. When DH and DH’s kid get there they are told they’re not authorized to make changes. DH’s kid calls Uberskank, no answer.
A few hours later she gets a hold of her mother, who told her she changed her mind. She can’t have an iPhone and if her “father” wants to buy her one that’s his problem and he can pay for the whole thing. DH gets frustrated and said “Fine…I’ll go buy you one now. Let’s go.” Oddly enough, DH’s kid was the voice of reason and told her father it’s a $500-$600 phone and did he really want to do that? Then DH’s kid turned around and said, “I’m going to X City (where the DA’s office is that handles CS) on Monday. If they tell me I get CS directly after I turn 18, then I will get my phone plan then. I will tell Mom that I will deduct my phone from the CS and give the rest to her.”
Well okay then. She apparently went to X City on Monday and they pretty much told her what DH and I have been telling her all along.
1. CS goes directly to her from 18-21, provided she continues through her senior year in HS and College with passing grades and a certain number of credits.
2. CS will stop if she doesn’t complete the paperwork and turn it into the state. She will have a 3 month grace period between HS and the beginning of her first year in college to get her paperwork filed.
3. No, her mother cannot demand CS go directly to her. That’s not how it works.
4. No, you can go to any college in the US. You are not required to live with your mother or go to certain schools. (then the rep praised her plan to go to community college and transfer to a 4 year college)
5. Yes, her mother can contact them if she has any questions.
Yesterday, DH’s kid asked to speak to her mother. She explained how she drove to X City and met with the DA from the Division of CS because DH gave her a copy of the paperwork. Uberskank freaked. She had confiscated the letter that was sent to DH’s kid (DH and Uberskank were copied) and was pissed that DH gave DH’s kid a copy. Apparently, Uberskank believed if DH’s kid didn’t respond then CS would continue to go to Uberskank. She started screaming at DH’s kid that she and her father were ganging up on her. DH’s kid said no, Dad wanted to make sure CS continued to go to me. That’s when Uberskank said “That is MY money!” DH’s kid said “No Mom, CS is actually MY money. What I plan to do is pay for my phone with the CS and give the rest to you while I’m living here.” Uberskank started screaming at DH’s kid and told her if that is your plan, then you can go live with your father during your last year in HS. And wait until I tell your GM and the rest of the family what you’re doing to me!
How can a mother say these things to her kid?? Now, understand, I do not like or love DH’s kid……but for the love of dog I would never say anything so horrible to her. How could her mother lay it out so plainly that all DH’s kid is to her is a check? I wanted to hurl when DH told me this story. I expected it to happen this way. I’ve always known that Uberskank regarded her children as little paychecks but for her to say it so plainly to her child. WTF is wrong with this woman???
DH’s kid is okay. She and her father spoke at length and she is more resigned than anything else. And also more determined to get the hell out of that house. Doubtful she will come to live with us, since she lives 1-1.5 hours away and wants to finish HS in her town. She’s been in that system since 8th grade and it’s the longest she’s ever been in one school system since her mother moved around so much before. She does have a few friends, whose parents are aware of her situation and have invited her to live with them. DH only asked to meet with them and discuss ground rules for DH’s kid.
So holy crap. Uberskank finally showed her true colors to her eldest child. I knew it would happen, but I’m still in a state of shock and disbelief. Before you ask….in my state…..the law is CS goes to the child until the age of 21 but they must be registered, attending and passing HS or College during this time. They are considered a “minor child” during that 3 year period and if they quit or fail their classes, CS will automatically stop. Her HS and whatever college she attends are required to send her grades to the State and the parent paying CS. Even better……once she graduates and moves out…..Uberskank will also be required to pay her CS as well.