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A sharing moment (stepfamilies with varying religious views)

myspoonistoobig's picture

So last night I was on my way to a New Moon ritual, and SS was playing in the court yard. I told him I was heading out, and that I'd be back in a few hours.

"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to my witch meeting."
"With pretend witches?"
"No honey, with real ones."

....

"There are real witches?"
"Yep."
"How do you know?"
"Because I am one."
"You're a witch!?"
"Yep."
"But,..."
"You can ask me all about it later kiddo, right now I've got to go."

After ritual I came home right after he went to bed. I went in to give him a kiss.

"Mimi, you smell different."
"I probably smell like sage."
"What's sage?"
"It's something we burn during ritual."
"Why?"
"To help us clear our minds so we can think."
"For the witch thing?"
"Yes."
"What's that?"
"That's my coven necklace."
"Is that a sword on it?"
"Yes."
"What's the circle for?"
"It represents the circle of life and the connection between all things. And the two trees represent everything we see around us, and everything we don't see."

SS put the necklace around his neck, and cackled.

"Most real witches don't laugh like that kiddo. Just the fake ones."
"I was pretending to be a fake one."
"Oh, okay."
"So witches laugh like real people?"
"Witches are real people SS, just like you. Witches are just people that pray differently than you."
"So witches pray differently than normal people?"
"Witches are normal people, not everyone who isn't a witch is exactly like you. You are Christian, and so you pray like a Christian. I'm a witch, and so I pray like a witch."

"Is DD22mo a witch?"
"No. Maybe someday though."
"Is Daddy a witch?"
"Yes."
"He's a boy witch?"
"Yes."
"I've never seen a boy witch before! Is my Mommy a witch?"
"No, your Mommy is a Christian."
"Is my other Daddy a witch?"
"No, he's a Christian too."
"Who else is a witch?"

I ran down the list of people he'd met who were, and told him there were many more he hadn't met yet. This seemed to satisfy him.

"You still smell like sage Mimi." SS breathes into my shoulder.
"Goodnight kiddo."

Just thought I'd share. The subject of our faith hadn't come up before with SS, so I think that went well.

Comments

myspoonistoobig's picture

Thank you. That's pretty much what I think in a nutshell.

My only worry is that one of SS's less refined family members is going to tell him this whole house is going to hell. Sad

DaizyDuke's picture

Religion is such a goofy thing.. for some reason people get very freaked out about any "religion" that is not THEIR religion. I am a Methodist but have attended Baptist Churches, Evangelical Churches and Catholic Churches throughout my life for various reasons (visiting with friends/family, weddings, simply trying something new)

I can honestly say that I am guilty of being one of those freaker outers about religions I don't agree with or understand. I'll be the first to say that DH and I poke some serious fun at BM2 because she goes to some Scientist Metaphysical class thing (apparently they call it "class" and not "church) I guess it's not so much that she is different than us, it's that she goes to this class stuff at least 3 times per week, travels for these "class" trip things etc. but is probably the biggest foul mouthed, hypocritical bitch I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. THAT'S what gets me. MIL is not much better, while she is a Methodist and goes to Bible study and always talks about being such a wonderful Christian, she is the biggest gossip whore/backstabber I have ever come across. That bothers me. I'm not judging, because I'm certainly FAR from perfect, but I guess the difference is I don't go around spouting off about my religion to everyone while acting like an ass. I feel that's what turns people OFF from organized religion.

Blah.. anyway that turned into kind of a long drawn out rant.... I think it's great that you are teaching SS about your beliefs!!

Willow2010's picture

Does BM know that you and DH are witches? I think I might have an issue with this as a BM. Mainly due to my ignorance of what "witches" really are.

I see pointy nosed, wart faced, old women around a brewing caldron casting dark spells on people. lol

Willow2010's picture

The only witches I know are from Hollywood!! lol. Up until now. Now apparently I know a bunch! Cool.

And you did not offend me with the following comment but I think you have hung with the wrong Christians if that is how you think we are. lol. Just like my ignorance of Wiccan.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
christian/non pagan goes to a building and gets on knees to pray with head bowed ( in reverance?) eyes closed and begs forgiveness for something they did wrong ( knew it was wrong but did it anyways)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My church is all about thanking God. Hand in air, face up...Singing and praising. You painted such a bleak picture of Christians I just wanted you to know we are not all like that. lol.

And what is a coven?

myspoonistoobig's picture

A mobile church congregation!

Sort of.

Mine is one that is usually open to the public. Some are more exclusive, and have a long vetting process and lengthy commitment.

We meet up at the high priestess' house (who is also my infant daughter's caregiver during the day Wink and we do ritual like... twice a month.

myspoonistoobig's picture

She does, and she does have issues with it. Mostly because she's convinced that only Christian people are good people, which is a feeling I've sadly encountered before.

Regardless, we did find a way to 'compromise' for the CO. We told her that if she wouldn't ask us to not practice in our own home while he's there/ keep him away from public family friendly events, we would allow her to change his last name to reflect her new husband's.

Unrelated, I know, but it was something she wanted, and it was something we wanted. So that's how it is.

Witches are a subset of pagans that believe their thoughts and intentions can manipulate the world around them, either deliberately or not. Most have very strict ethics, but some do not. Most involve nature in their practice, some do not. When you read about a 'witch' in the news killing their boyfriend in the name of Satan, it's about as representative of witchcraft as a story about a Christian extremist murdering a doctor who works at Planned Parenthood.

But what would you do if as a BM you were dealing with a witchy SM?

BSgoinon's picture

I am actually pretty impressed on how calm this is all staying. Very impressed.

Willow2010's picture

Me too! And I am very grateful.

But there are about 3-4 posters who are going to explode if they see this. Maybe it will be off the main page before they come back. lol.

Willow2010's picture

This is a slightly controversial topic and I think we have a few posters that take advantage of that point to come on and call names or just be rude in general.

They would either be rude to the you for being a witch or be rude to me for not knowing about the ways of Wiccan. Either way...they would make the blog blow up. I guess just cause they can.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Well, I think collectively we hit a good tone. Lots of careful language and tentative questions. I certainly haven't been offended yet. Smile

wanttoscream's picture

LOL, I am still waiting to be excommunicated by my Baptist church for getting married in Vegas, gambling, drinking free cocktails, and having my marriage officially pronounced by a woman. :jawdrop:

BSgoinon's picture

LOL, I was SHOCKED that my SISTER performed my ceremony, considering DH and I lived together for 5 years prior... you know, the whole premarital sex thing. She isn't a Baptist Pastor, but pretty close to it. DH's grandfather was very impressed with her... a "female Pastor" and all. He was very liberal. She doesn't Pastor a church, that still isn't allowed in Foursquare, but her husband does and she has WAY more credentials to do so than he does Wink

Willow2010's picture

freaker outers
++++++++++++++

lol...is that the technical term?

3LittleDragonflies's picture

ROFL I love it. I'm very Christian, but my best friend from high school is Wiccan and has been the entire time I've known her. It sounds like how she explained to my younger cousin that she was a Wiccan and that that was why she wasn't going to church with my family one day.
Just warning you, my family had a field day on me about her trying to explain her religion to him. He was 7 at the time and decided he wanted to be Wiccan too. I wasn't allowed to bring my friends around anymore after that.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Well, I've thought about the possibility that he will ask me something like that one day.

And I'll tell him, "I can teach you, someday if you still want, but not now. Once you're grown up, you can make your own decisions about your path."

Lalena75's picture

I think you explained it great. I'm waiting for the day BM finds out myself, dd and my mom are witches. They don't go to church themselves and skids only get religion at daycare where they do a sermon at the beginning of the day. BM will only care out of ignorance and as something to freak about. But I'm mostly solitary in my practice, my dad an SM are Jewish I have a Catholic brother 2 Christian brothers and an agnostic sister so were all fairly versed in religion and none of us judge each other but it's been good practice for explaining religious views. So far most I've gotten since SO moved in he noticed my alter and said "uh so what's that about" me "I'm a witch, just means I pray differently is all" he shrugged and doesn't care.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Thanks! I don't know if you saw any of my other blog posts, but SS came to our home this year with a stuffed Jesus in tow, so I'm thinking there will be some TENSE moments between us adults at times.

chokinonlemons2u's picture

I remember when BM learned I am not religious. She called demanding my husband let her take the skids to church every Sunday. He said she could on her own time. That lasted about two months before she got sick of getting up in the morning. But Im sure she will start again after her friend tells her i posted this. Lol

chokinonlemons2u's picture

By the way , most Wiccans I know are the most peaceful and loving people I have ever met.

Willow2010's picture

I am truly fascinated by this subject. I really never knew that there are people who call themselves witches. I have heard of Wiccan, but I guess I never really put it together.

Are there a lot of witches/Wiccan out there? I mean no disrespect. I am really interested in this. Not because I want to be one, but it is just so interesting.

Some people get butt hurt about religious post. I hope they do not flag this one, because I have question if you care to answer...?

myspoonistoobig's picture

What she said. It's also worthwhile to note that Wiccan and Witchcraft aren't the same either. Pagan, wiccan all refer to systems of belief... the theology of the whole thing.

Witchcraft specifically refers to the more active style of prayer, and the belief that your intentions impact the world around you, and that you can control some of those intentions.

DaizyDuke's picture

I wanted to add... I think there is a big difference in answering the curious questions of a 7 year old and trying to ram your beliefs down his throat.

As a BM I can with 100% honesty say that I would NOT have a problem with someone explaining beliefs different than mine to my BS should he ask. I don't see it as any different than explaining the difference between Irish Wolfhounds and Golden Retrievers. Knowledge is power and I'm good with my BS soaking up as much as he can get throughout life.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Thank you! It's a delicate subject, and I want to not step on anyone's toes.

My faith isn't something that should make me cooler, or more awesome than BM. It's just different. He needs to know that.

myspoonistoobig's picture

I can handle church, because I grew up in many, but my DH absolutely can't stand church. He gets SOOOO uncomfortable!

I feel so bad for him that we just never go. Smile

myspoonistoobig's picture

Good lord, what a lot of sage! You should just salt it, might be cheaper! Hahaha!

myspoonistoobig's picture

Haha! I suppose garlic would be even worse then. Sage it is!

Or maybe rigging the door so when she opens it a bucket of blessed water falls right on her dome.

Nah... that's mean. }:)

wanttoscream's picture

DH referred to BM as a "witch" one day. I told him not to give witches a bad name. She is more like Spawn of Satan.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Yeah, we have plenty of problem witches around too. No need to add to our burden!

chokinonlemons2u's picture

My great grandmother was a "witch" . People came to get her healing potions and she was also psychic. Some women through her blood line are also psychic to some degree. There was a time people would be burned at the stake for such things.

I take offense when people make ugly comments about wiccans, witches, psychics being against Gods will or hell bound.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Very cool. It's pretty presumptuous, I think, to tell anyone they're going to hell.

I get "So you worship the devil, right?" a lot.

Also, "could you do a spell for me?" *facepalm*

Willow2010's picture

Also, "could you do a spell for me?" *facepalm*
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hey....that's what I was about to ask! lol. JK

myspoonistoobig's picture

YES!

Lalena75's picture

I find it very interesting how many of us there are, several of you just in things posted in passing made me think "oh another witch" being solitary sometimes I forget how many of us there really are just going about everyday lives.
Though on the topic of cleansing with sage my house reeked of it as dd decided all the stress and fighting needed cleansed so recruited her brother and they cleansed the house. Es having shown no interest in any religion I guess asked her all sorts of questions. Then just said "look if making the house stink calms mom down I'm all for it but shouldn't we bathe her in lavender, or ether that stuffs supposed to mock a person out." Thankfully dd explained ether wasn't as in ethereal and I'm not being tagged and bagged by my children. But the house seems mellowed.

myspoonistoobig's picture

I've gotten more creative with house-cleansing and whatnot. Too paranoid to burn sage in the house with the baby still being under a year old!

3familiesIn1's picture

mmmm, what would I answer if SS every asked ME if BM was a witch....

Um well yes SS, but not quite the same kind of witch I am, but yes, she is a real witch... j\k

myspoonistoobig's picture

I'm too freaking proud to call her that. Wink

But there are some other words I think about sometimes.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Thanks! It's always risky to navigate a topic like that with a kid who isn't yours. I appreciate the support!

wanttoscream's picture

When my BS20 was about 10 or so, he asked his friend next door to spend the night and go to church with him. (We are Baptist) His buddy came back and said, "I can spend the night, but not church." I asked "why" (acting like I didn't already know) He said, so cutely, :jawdrop: "cuz we are Christian and you are Baptist." Hmmm, ok. I said "Baby, do you mean you are Catholic?" "Yeah, we are Catholic." Now this family hadn't been to Mass since Moses was floating, so I responded with my best SB smartass humor; "sweetie, tell your mama we go to the 10:30 service. They only handle snakes in the 8:00 one." }:)

myspoonistoobig's picture

I never did understand that. But then I didn't understand parents who wanted to exclude their children from exposure to other faiths either.

How will their lifestyle and faith measure up in their adult life if you were so afraid of testing it when they were children?

wanttoscream's picture

Me either. I went to a Presbyterian kindergarten, Episcopal and Baptist private schools before going back to public school, attended Methodist church, then Southern Baptist church, visited Catholic, Greek Orthodox, and Holy Roller churchs with my friends, AND hung out with my two besties who were Wiccans, all before I graduated high school. And I turned out perfectly balanced! Wink :? Go figure. . .