Since I have been married to my husband, several years now, I have been the one to pick out and buy, send, gifts to his kids and grandchildren for birthdays and Christmas. At this point, I have no relationship with his kids because they have chosen to nit-pick and find everything wrong with me over the years and hate, hate, hate instead of seeing the good person I am. I had to disengage after enduring too much mental, then physical stress, from these toxic relationships. But, I have continued to send presents at Christmas and birthdays for his kid's children. The big kids get money from both of us. The problem is, there is never any acknowledgement at all. They, in their hatred for me, and poor manners, have taught their kids to fear and hate me. I cannot believe a parent would teach their children to be so rude, these parents should be teaching their kids to write thank you notes, something. I always have our child write thank you notes to them, even sent one of the grand-daughters a beginning stationary set with thank you notes to get the ball rolling to teach them proper manners. But of course, never received one. They know it's me picking out, wrapping and sending these gifts because their father just always gave money not being into shopping. It's the rudest slap in the face. I don't think the little kids should be involved in this hate game by their parents though the oldest grandchild is 13, meaning she could branch out and call or send a note.
My husband never says anything to his kids about this and I think he should take a bit of a stand on this. He has the attitude that they are grown and it's not his job anymore.