Awwww — Isn’t teen attitude adorable?!
Teens tend to have attitude. I get it. I'm sure I did it on rare occasions (but was never allowed to get away with it).
Fall baseball just ended here and SS13 had definite attitude. He didn't like the coach this fall. Truth be told, he was far from the best coach SS has had. But, still the coach. In fall ball, there's no tournament and standings don't matter. It's a time to work on skills and move kids to different positions and give them a chance to play spots they normally wouldn't. SS spent more time than usual in the outfield. He's a very good infielder, but the coach was giving other kids a chance -- and seeing what the new kids can do.
SS was not happy about this. At Saturday's game, we could clearly see the attitude (rolled eyes, angry posture) from the stands when the coach sent him to center. BM and her parents were sitting close enough for us to hear them and they were giggling and talking about how cute and funny he is.
Huh? DH, meanwhile, was furious his kid was acting like a jerk. But it was her week, so he stayed out.
Final game was Sunday. Attitude again. They won, but made some stupid mistakes (including a big one by SS). SS came back to our house after the game and all he could do was complain about the coaches and about them getting on to them even though they won. DH pointed out that coaches are supposed to teach and when you screw up, it's their job to correct you so you get better. Those mistakes could have cost them the game. He also reinforced that he needs to be respectful of coaches. Cue eye roll.
Again, at BM's his bad behavior is treated like precious comedy gold.
Is it wrong that I hope his attitude keeps him from making the high school team? Or that if he does make it, he gets his rear end handed to him on a regular basis?
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Not wrong at all.
I hope the consequences you hope for are realized 10 fold and he learns that his shit is not cute, not funny, and that he is not the star he thinks he is.
Of course that journey or lessons will be interfered with by BM and her parents who think his shit does not stink.
I have wanted my SS to face
I have wanted my SS to face consequences with his attitude on how great he thinks he is at sports and how he blames coaches, other teammates, needs new bats, gloves, shoes because they are the problem. BM lets him get away with it and SO ends up paying the bills for better private coaches. Because SSis a superstar at every sport he plays. Well he is not. Even though he is only allowed to pitch like 6 innings during a 5 day out of town tournament because he can't even hit he still thinks he is great because he is on a really good team. He makes the team because SO pays. He makes all the high school teams he try's out for because he gives enough to make the team somehow. He has never learned real consequences for his attitude. I hope your SS does because it has gotten worse every year.
In our case, SS actually is a
In our case, SS actually is a good player. He has talent. They don't have him in travel ball or with private lessons, so no shelling out $$$. But he still has that attitude and that "I'm the best" thought pattern. Not attractive. If he was playing on travel ball, he'd still be good, but probably more middle of the pack.
This sounds SO MUCH like BM's
This sounds SO MUCH like BM's behavior especially with/toward SS when he was an adolescent. Fast forward 20 years: She has a "genius" son who ruined his chances of getting into law school or the military because of drug charges; who can't maintain a romantic relationship longer than 3 months; and who lives in Airbnbs and has no car. But he was--giggle--so cute when he acted like an entitled rude little prick.
Point being: Nobody else thinks arrogant, obnoxious behavior is cute.
It's not cute at all. BM
It's not cute at all. BM doesn't treat it as adorable but she also doesn't seem to think it's an issue. Her parents, on the other hand, think he poops rainbows.
What you describe is what we expect/fear he's headed for. BM's brother is similar: he has a good degree, but can't find or set a career and now bounces from one minimum wage job to another while his parents supplement his income. BM is a successful attorney, but she shows no sign of wanting to instill work ethic or values in her child. She makes good money and her parents have plenty, too. But the way they spend, I doubt SS will be able to just sit back and live off family money for the rest of his life.
I can relate to this one with
I can relate to this one with OSS. When everything is handed to a child, it makes it increasingly difficult to learn accountability and how to actually work for something.
I always wonder how these kind of children end up as adults. Especially when there's a BM like you described
He definitely has everything
He definitely has everything handed to him. When things aren't given to him or he's not properly worshipped he seems genuinely confused. I've told DH for years, that's a massive problem in the making.
Ha! If he's not properly
Ha! If he's not properly worshipped then he's confused. It's funny but sad and true. Honestly the praise from doing the absolute bare minimum is insane. It's like, I'm on board with positive reinforcement, but learning that there are negative consequences is a pivotal part of growing up and when mommy doesn't teach that but rather encourages entitlement and a bad attitude, it just creates such an unlikable kid who will probably grow to be an unlikable adult
I can relate so much. SS
I can relate so much. SS blames any mistakes on the coaches too. He will win a game, even score kicking a goal, and still be annoyed because his coach made him sit out a quarter on the bench. Bad behaviour basically.
One footy game, BM was holding a clip board and kept a tally on how many touches SS had on the ball. Then have him $2 every time he scored a goal. So that alone has taught him to not be a team player and it's all about how much you touch the ball and score goals. DH was furious as he's a good and respected footy player and trying to teach SS that's not the way to play at all.. but attitude gets in SS way and he's too arrogant to listen.
SS definitely has the
SS definitely has the arrogance going. He can never be wrong and he does not handle correction well. He tends to be quiet about it, but it's obvious from his facial expressions and body language. With BM and DH, he argues back. Not sure if he does that with coaches and teachers. Regardless, not a good look.
*Stage whisper* "DH, what a
*Stage whisper* "DH, what a shame he's being such a dickhead. He might actually be a decent player if he could knock off the posturing ..."