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Whining Sends me to an Immediate 10

PushedToMyLimit's picture

I can't stand whining. I think I would prefer to be punched in the eye instead of listen to it. It immediately escalates me to a 10 of rage I swear. SS9 is a whiner & SO says he's working on it/handling it but we constantly fight about it. He says I don't think he parents right, blah blah...(yeah sometimes I don't think you do SO). SS9 has lived with us for 3 yrs & always been a whiner. It has improved some but by now, I feel his whining should be nipped immediately by saying something like "1st and final warning, you are whining, stop or you will be sent to your room to gather yourself & can return when you can talk normal". The whining stems from when he wants something/can't have something and then it carries on to pouty face/feel sorry for yourself/mopy behavior. I have also suggested recording him when he is whining so he can hear himself to understand what we are hearing & observing. 

I do not feel that I/or any of us should have to be around this behavior & the best way to stop it is to remove it from the room. I don't feel our shared house space should be dominated by his attitude or that we have to be around it while he pulls himself together. The poor me pouting is almost as bad to be around. 

I know my tactics may be harsh but I listened to whining while upstairs getting dressed & to come down to start my day to a whining pouty face just makes me want to scream. I wasn't pleasant this morning & I know the exact cause because it was the same as last night. What are other ways/ideas parents have nipped whining?


Rumplestiltskin's picture

I know this sounds awful but belittle it. Don't get upset but give them a wry look and say "You are crying over THAT?" And just shake your head and go about your business. If there's a chance the kid might be crying because they are legitimately hurt, scared, or sad, then it's right to take them seriously. But if they are crying because you won't buy them a toy in the grocery store or something ridiculous, yeah, tbh i've even laughed when my kids were little and said "That's not something to cry about, now come on so we can check out!" 

Lillywy00's picture

Play reverse psychology on them. 

Ignore them when they're whiny 

Give them LOTS of praise when they age appropriately handle their emotions, needs, requests. 

These skids here have really high pitched voices when they are trying to get their way or get out of trouble. His daughter is 11 and son is 15. 

So whiny kids will keep being whiny as long as Disneyland parents raise them as such. 

PushedToMyLimit's picture

I'd love to ignore it but I swear I can't & ignoring it to me isn't addressing it or correcting it. Unfortunately this kid is just one that is generally annoying in many ways & it isn't just me who has said that. with Skids is grand.

la_dulce_vida's picture

What worked in my house was ME doing the same behavior. Whine about EVERYTHING.

"I don't want to go to work." *stomps feet*

"I don't feel like cooking dinner." *sigh*

"But I want to go out for dinner." *pouty face*


PushedToMyLimit's picture

I actually did that mostly because I was venting my frustration in exchange for screaming! Lol!

Survivingstephell's picture

I can't hear whining.  I don't respond until I hear adult talking.  I nipped it in the bud at the toddler stage but not acknowledging it.  The fact it's still going on means there's a big parenting fail at play.  You can teach SS to not whine to you by putting your limits in place with him.   Kids are smart enough to keep straight which adult he can whine to and which one won't put up with his BS.  

PushedToMyLimit's picture

We fight about this because no, I don't think SO is parenting strict enough on this topic & I call him on it because it affects our entire household. We are not dealing with a 2 y/o (although it often feels like it) and I agree it is attempt at attention, which he has plenty of. SS rarely pulls BS with me because I don't miss anything & I call him on all of it, of course when I do then the whining & pouting begins. He really goes south when he is called out on his poor choice behavior. 

PetSpoiler's picture

​​​​​​My bios used to whine when they were little.  I'd tell them I couldn't understand them when they were whining.  I had to do this more than a few times in one conversation.  I'd tell them to try talking normal so I could understand them.  I was consistent with it and they stopped. I don't remember SS whining much.  He'd try crying to get his way and I'd tell him to knock it off or I'd give him something to cry about.  He would annoy me when he got grounded and I started sending him to his room.  

Your SS is most likely whining to get attention.  The best way to handle this is to not give him what he wants.  Either ignore him or send him to his room.  Or tell him that you can't understand him and to try talking normal.  Consistency is key though, whatever you do.  Your husband needs to be doing the same.  You two will need to be on the same page. 

thinkthrice's picture

With my bios when they were toddlers as well.  "Sorry I don't understand when you sound like that."

Problem nipped.   Chef's ferals never whined bc they were never told "no."    They did scream and laugh and stomp and slam at a decibel level that would put the Krakatoa eruption of 1883 to shame.

PushedToMyLimit's picture

WHY are these Skids stuck with their volume levels on high with the button busted off? I don't get it. 

Harry's picture

If home alone. Tell him to go to his room until he ready to stop.  If DH is home , then it's DH take care of that. No reason for it.  And you just can't make love to a man who can't parent ..