You are here

Excuses Excuses Excuses!!! The Lies are hard to believe but is DH believing them

Daisymazy2's picture

SD, age 20, has been fired from multiple jobs.  It is never HER fault.  It is always the boss or another co-workers fault.  She has been fired again from a well-known chain store.  According to her,  she was fired because the boss was upset that other co-workers were coming to her for help instead of going to him. Dh didn't really buy this excuse but he never told her that she was lying about it.   She worked at this job longer than she has worked at any of the other jobs but it was still less than a year. 

She called DH crying after she was fired.  She didn't understand why bad things keep happening to her.  He was encouraging her and I am sure trying to tell her that everything is going to be ok.  I hope she doesn't call every night to look for his sympathy.  Everyone else is really tired of it and doesn't give her the sympathy that DH gives her.  

She has convinced her new BF to co-sign for her a car and have her and the vehicle listed on his auto policy.  She has known this boy less than a year and they are living together.  My prediction is that she will continue to bleed the boy dry, ruin his credit and she will leave. I am going to give them another 6 months or so.  DH says that they are the perfect couple and they will be getting married.  SD has already told the BF that he will not ask her to marry her until she tells him that she is ready to be married.

SD was enrolled in college a few years ago she completed one semester.  A couple of months into the 2nd semester, she was kicked out of school because she threatened another student.  Now, the school is sending her a bill for 2 semesters.  She was crying to DH informing him that she didn't go to the second semester and that the court date was in Dec for threatening the other student and she had the paperwork to prove it.  Well, she doesn't have the paperwork because the court case is online and shows that the date the incident happened was in Feb. She was at school during that time. I didn't mention anything to DH about it.  I am sure the website would be wrong and SD had the correct paperwork.  I know, it isn't wrong. I was impressed that she made it one semester without being kicked out.  

She also says she had a scholarship to the college and doesn't owe them any money.  I am not sure who would have given a D student a full scholarship to a college but DH believes her.  I told him even if she did have a scholarship, she could have lost it because she was kicked out and now she has to pay.  DH doesn't understand why the school waited two years to contact her.  The school didn't wait two years to contact her.  I can remember this conversation coming up before with SD and DH.  I think the school is now threatening legal action like garnishing her wages.   SD was trying to tell DH that the school didn't have any records that she was kicked out and they are also asking her to pay for damage to her dorm room that she didn't do.  SD says that the staff is new and they did not know she was kicked out of school and they are trying to have her pay for time she wasn't there. SD and BM had a meeting with the college and the college is willing to settle the debt. BM is more than likely going to pay the debt for SD. DH has been comforting her and believing this story. 

I have been staying out of these conversations as much as possible.  I may answer dh back in a sentence or two and then I have other things I have to do.  I leave the room so I am not sucked into the drama.   

I just can not understand how anyone can believe this crap. 

Harry's picture

She a mess.  Don't get caught in this mess.  It will never change or end 

Merry's picture

My DH is similar. I don't know if he actually believes the lies or just doesn't want to confront them. Either way, it's not my circus, and not my monkey OR my money.

That's not to say that I have always managed to keep my mouth shut or keep my resting bitch face on. It's just not my problem to solve.But it is sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking to watch.

Notthedoormat's picture

Sounds like SD is in a world of trouble.  But it will catch up with her and she will have to face it.  DH will also have to take a long, hard look at reality when that happens.  

Its frustrating when they don't see the truth,  even when it's slapping them across the face.  Something similar happened for us when SD22 tried to convince DH that she had graduated high school...but we looked for some kind of evidence and it didn't exist because it was a lie. She graduated the next year after completing all the requirements. But she really wanted us to believe it was a done deal.  I think they want the congratulations and accolades without the work.

Just sit back and know it will eventually explode in her face. And DH will see the fallout because you can't miss it.  If BM enables her by paying her debts, then that's on her. She'll eventually get tires of it, too.  Take care of yourself in the meantime.

Rags's picture

A perfect opportunity for DH to present his toxic spawn with the common denominator lecture and put that proverbial boot to SD's lying ass.


notarelative's picture

The tales they tell. My OSD can spin a web of lies so well that as you listen it's believable. Then you realize nothing she said will happen.

OSD and her husband (OSDH) were involved with court. YSD told us what the outcome of the case was going to be. I asked YSD why she thought that would happen. YSD said that OSDH said that was what would happen and he knew a lot about the courts. 

I told her that if OSDH were a criminal lawyer, I'd put some stock in his opinion. But, multiple times as a (no contest) defendant does not qualify him to say this case will go away. (It didn't.) YSD was shocked that I was right.

My DH, at first, believed the lies, but by the time of the court case, he knew better. He had already cut off money and has not been sucked in again.