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SD's Teacher

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Yesterday was SD's last day of school and two weeks ago DH had talked to SD's teacher to request the last report card be emailed to him as the previous 3 report cards had been, she agreed she would. DH emailed again on Monday to remind SD's teacher as well as to request any summer packet or information to be emailed to him digitally. The last day of school comes and goes, nothing from SD's teacher. So today DH emailed the teacher following up as he doesn't know how long her teacher will be accessible by email as the school year is over.

SD's teacher responds with the report card, but says "Summer packets were copied and sent home in in SD’s purple folder. You can have her bring it along." 

WELL SD'S TEACHER, if it were that simple, we wouldn't be requesting report cards be emailed to DH because BM does not share or send SD's report cards and hasn't sent a single one in the two years SD has been in school. As has been mentioend NUMEROUS times, getting information from BM is difficult and usually impossible. Heck, BM has not even opened the last message DH sent BM re-confirming he has not been given any information on SD's tutor that she was supposed to six months ago when BM said she thought she had shared it and would look. I don't know how much more clear DH needs to make it that BM DOES NOT SHARE INFORMATION. 

So DH emailed the teacher back stressing how there is 12 days between the end of school and SD coming here for over 8 weeks. Then DH emailed the principal asking if he could be of assistance in getting the packet digitally and reiterated about unsure how long would be available and the difficulty getting info from BM, etc. We shall see what happens.

**EDIT: The principal responded saying he was in through next week and would send information between now and then. Which is good because SD's teacher replied to DH's email asking if there really was no way she could send him a digital copy that it was a lot of pages, she doesn't have it digitally and to buy workbooks or try other online resources... Hopefully SD will have a better teacher next year because this teacher was definitely biased. 



ESMOD's picture

I kind of get her reluctance to scan in a bunch of things for SD.  Teacher's likely have a lot on their plate.. and it would defitely get to be a real pain if they had to make special double communications for a lot of kids.. but I also get that your BM is not organized.. not good about communications.. and likely doesn't stay on top of stuff that SD probably easily looses herself.

IT's nice the principal will do it for him

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

people I know who are teachers in various school districts and said because of the scanners/copiers they have at school, all she would need to do is take the physical packet she has and take it to the scanner and it would scan it all in no time. That it isn't doing DH any favors, but rather is like DH has been saying all along in the best interest of the student aka SD. That the teacher would rather risk SD not getting to work on her packet that the school provides to work on over the summer for a reason for over 8 weeks then spend a bit of time scanning a packet and sending it over to a parent requesting it to help their child over the summer break.

This day and age, TONS of teachers make double communications for kids, it is not new anything new. Especially when this teacher only has 20 some students, it isn't a middle school or high school teacher that has well over that with the change of classes. 

It is very clear that this teacher is more interested in sticking it to DH than helping SD. 

notarelative's picture

...people I know who are teachers in various school districts and said because of the scanners/copiers they have at school, all she would need to do is take the physical packet she has and take it to the scanner and it would scan it all in no time.

I'm glad that all of those teachers have access to that technology. However, not all schools do. 
The end of the year has lots of tasks for teachers that consume time. No teachers know is looking to add an extra task. Since BM is portraying herself (to the teacher) as super parent, the teacher's expectation that she would send the packet with SD, if asked by DH,  is a reasonable one for her to make. It's not the case, but the teacher, relying on what the parent in front of her is saying, is making a reasonable expectation.

teacher would rather risk SD not getting to work on her packet that the school provides to work on over the summer

Most likely this packet is not SD specific. It's most likely a general review skill set. And most likely 50% of the class, or less, will be bringing it back. Summer packets in general are not well received by parents. So I'd stop obsessing about this particular packet. If you get it, have her do it. If you don't, look at the report card and work on the skills she is low on. Need math pact practice, ditch the worksheet. There are lots of fact practice games, using playing cards, with rules available online. For reading improvement, actual reading produces the best improvement. Let her read the easy for her books by herself. The slightly harder ones, read with her, alternating pages. Pick out a chapter book and read it to her. Work on her comprehension by talking about the book. (Why did he do that? What could he have done instead? Talk about the character's feelings. Etc) For writing, have her keep a diary. There's lots DH can dowithout a packet.

If the principal sends you the packet, go it. But, if he does not, it is not the end of the world. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I don't think it is at all clear that she is trying to "stick it" to DH. She may not want to do it because she is lazy, or doesn't have the equipment or the time, but I don't see why she would not do it just to hurt DH. And I personally know of one small school district that would not have the scanning technology to make this an easy task.

ESMOD's picture

and even with a scanner..if the material included premade booklets.. it means scanning each page.. flipping pages.. it may have been all stapled together...undoing.. dealing with a jam.

I have to scan things at work.. easy if it's pristine pages.. much more difficult if it is stapled..with holes.. or a book that needs to be manually dealt with.

I agree that the skills are likely something they could work around doing with their own research online if BM doesn't send the packet with her.

hopefully as SD gets older.. she will be more reliable to bring things like this with her.

NieMojCyrk's picture

I'm also going to disagree here with your point of view and expectations. Nowadays there is way too many parents bringing drama into schools and sucking teachers and administrators into their drama.

Here is an idea - take your non compliant BM to court and make demands with the court system. Leave poor teachers out of this and don't make them do more work than they already have - just because. They don't need nor care to know about the infantile relationships between the parents. 

thinkthrice's picture

'Here is an idea - take your non compliant BM to court and make demands with the court system."

I believe you are a new member and/or have not had much experience with "family" court.   The BM is seldom if ever held accountable for ANY violation of the CO, in front of any judge/magistrate period.  

Going to family court as a biodad against the BM for ANY infraction with the exception of possibly murder one is a fools errand in western society. 

My own DIL is a schoolteacher.   This is the 21st century where the nuclear family is passe and documentation can all be done electronically.   Everything can be generated/scanned in electronically and emailed using CC to however many parents/guardians/parties of concern there are using templates and blind distribution lists.  Or posted on a website with downloadable content links.   I would hazard a guess that most if not all public and private schools have these capabilities since the advent of smartboards.

halo1998's picture

Remind the school they are bound by FERPA to provide anything they send home with SD to your DH as her parent.  This includes packets, etc.  They may ask that you pay for postage, etc.  However, they are required by law to provide it and can lose their federal funding if they do not.  I used to send a letter detailing the school's obligations under FERPA every year just to remind them that Beaver was not the ONLY parent.  

Search for a FERPA letter under father's rights.  They will have an example of what you can send.

notarelative's picture

FERPA deals with rights and disclosure of educational records. The report card is covered under FERPA and it was sent.
While most schools will mail the requested packet, I don't think this particular packet is covered under FERPA. This packet is not an educational record. It is the equivalent of a long homework assignment. 

Livingoutloud's picture

FERPA covers report cards. Not summer packets. They aren't student specific and don't fall into "educational records" category. It's not covered by FERPA 

Livingoutloud's picture

Ideally teacher or principal will scan the packet. And hope the principal will help with that. But if not, age appropriate summer packets are available free online. Or you could just read books and write about her summer days and practice math facts (if math is a problem). When she's planning to do those anyways if she's in a camp all day? Don't they have educational component at a camp? 

I'd try not to worry as much. I know you mean well and want SD to succeed and you are a great SM but at some point you'd need to chill. Let SD come and enjoy her summer.