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Its Never Over

harmony98's picture

I cant deal anymore.

Why is it never over ? 

SD has manipulated everyone against me.  

Stepdrama2020's picture

When you say everyone, who does that entail? Can you give more details/

What does your DH do about this sitch.

Remember the people who know YOU and love YOU will not be manipulated. The people who want discord will buy into the lil B's false narrative because that serves them too. Step life sucks on so many levels hun. Keep your loved ones close and the haters boot them out of your life.

BobbyDazzler's picture

What does your DH say about what she's doing. Does she live with you? How long have you and DH been married? Who is she manipulating exactly? Have you confronted her about this? Set boundaries??

harmony98's picture

I have been married 15 years 16 this year.

The only boundry she wants is us not together.  Thankfully I dont have to see her often.  But when I do it makes me so angry.

Rags's picture

You have been doing this for a while.  I understand the occassioal enough is enough events.

Take care of you.

Give rose

harmony98's picture

My DH is super supportive now, SD is 28. doesnt live with us.

She has riled one of the SS up so he now does not speak.  The SD and the BM have now since the birthday card incident.  Physically been to visit my MIL.

My DH contacted to SD to ask her not to take her Mother to visit any more. Its been 20 years nearly.  My MIL does not want to see her.

SD can obvs go its her Grandma.

This is somehow my doing ! I didnt even know they had been or he had said anything until after it all.

Im just sick of her being in my life tbh.  

Just go away. 

Thanks Rags.  Fortunately my DH and I from where we were this time last year are great.  

CLove's picture

Read your previous posts to get an idea of why the skids are so against you.

Whelp, Id say disengagement is your friend.

Nope, it never really truly ends, there will always be these people in your life as long as you are with DH. 

ive got SD23soon24 who hates me has always hated me and looks for any reason to unleash on me.

harmony98's picture

we all have this site to vent on.  much love everyone x 

Birchclimber's picture

No.  It never ends.  Even when there is a reprieve from their drama, in the back of our minds we know full well, that it is not over.  We disengage, but by that time, it's usually too late.  When we finally use that method of coping, the damage is done and most of us step-parents are already suffering from complex post traumatic stress disorder because of all of the abuse that we've had to endure from them beforehand. 

I've endured a manipulative, narcissistic and cunning YSD for 34 years.  She has a personality disorder, perhaps as the result of having been subjected to her parents bad marriage.  Or, she has the same Bat-Shit Crazy gene that her mother has.  I really don't know why it is, or what it is that she suffers from, but I do know that she needs psychological help and she is obviously in denial about it because she's not seeking any.  Instead, she emerges into our lives when she needs to liven up her life with some drama, and she traumatizes my DH and I, maybe as a form of sick entertainment for her?  It was a cycle.

To make a long story short, in our case, we finally said, "Enough".  We've both disengaged (for now).  I would be lying if I told you that she doesn't have any real estate in my head.  I don't know if a day goes by that I don't think of her.  My thoughts are always based in fear that she will try to make contact again.  That her cycle of abuse will begin again.  Then I tell myself to stop worrying about her and to live in and enjoy the moment instead.  It's hard to do that some days.  Once you've been in a car accident, you tend to drive more cautiously because, in the back of your mind, you know that it can happen again, in an instant. 

What you have in your favor is a supportive DH.  THAT makes all of the difference.  As long as he has your back, and he is not in denial about his daughter's antics, then I think that you have a very good chance of being able to survive this situation. I think that keeping an open and honest dialogue with him about how she makes you feel, how she impacts you, your mood and your marriage, goes a long way to keeping some peace under your roof.  Never put him in a position where he feels like you are attacking his daughter and he has to defend her because that's a no-win battle for you.  But telling him how she makes you feel, is never debatable.  He can't tell you that what you are feeling is not real. 


MissTexas's picture

DH passes away, and you  no longer are forced to see them for holidays, or whatever the scenario is individually...but even then, some of us deal with the drama.

Mine has NEVER ended. 

They started out trying to get me to waive my rights to the home/property. This went on for a number of years.

All the while SD got an illegal will created, giving anything of mine to her and her sibling if I refused to waive my rights in writing within 30 days of DH's death. That's illegal. This was in place for literally YEARS before I knew anything about it because DH does all estate/legal planning with SKs. I'm the last to know anything. Meanwhile, he was getting my absolute BEST ALL THOSE YEARS. I was there for every pre-op, post-op, rehab, surgery appointment. Kids were NOWHERE to be seen, EVER.

I've been locked out of my house and off the property by them. Sheriff was called and that was rectified quickly, as it's illegal to self-evict here! I have a police report. Really, they are building my case for me, and doing a beautiful job.

Most recently, they've gotten their mentally compromised father to file for divorce to try to get rid of me.

They're being investigated for elder abuse/exploitation, with plenty of credible evidence.

So long as DH is around/alive, (& maybe therafter?) it NEVER ENDS. They are constantly plotting and planning what they're going to try to do to me next!

My attorney told me recently about a case he won with a Filipino mail order bride. She was married less than a year when her elderly husband passed away.  His kids thought they were going to kick her off the property. WRONG. The judge awarded her the ENTIRE 1,500 acre ranch. Not just the right to occupancy, or a life estate, SHE IS THE SOLE PROPRIETOR! Her mother and grandmother have moved in with her! So, in his death, YES, it finally ended, and ended very well for her!

*Disclaimer:I'm in no way advocating harming or injuring or causing death to anyone. Just sharing.

CLove's picture

THATS a story.

I guess Im lucky husband didnt have any real assets that he acquired before Clove (BC) entered his life.

Also lucky that his ex Toxic Troll isnt too bright (smart enough to get money without working for it...) and that the skids arent too involved with Husbands assetts (at this point SD23almost24 is pretty no-contact and SD16almost17 doesnt really care).

My thoughts and prayers go out to you for the ultimate success of beating the Skids into the ground with the truth.

MissTexas's picture

Not trying to evoke sympathy, or play the victim. I was born a fighter. My mother tried aborting me several times, but I'm here for a REASON and live my life with PURPOSE! Perhaps it is to show these entitled millionaire brats they're not above the law.

Maybe I will go into detail regarding how she paid the retainer and had her father pay her back several thousand more than she paid, or how he was "encouraged" to open a bank account with THOUSANDS...big money, and with  her as an authorized signer, and POD beneificiary in case he died in the process.

There is so much more to this, and YES, the fish bowl looks much different from the inside than it does from the outside.

Thankfully, I'm an excellent record keeper, and great at documenting EVERYTHING. I take pictures of EVERYTHING as it provides a digital footprint. The investigators told me they have very credible evidence against SKs, especially the daughter, and that is why the case has gone on so long. It's obviously not an open and closed situation. I told the investigator, her supervisor, and their supervisor, as well as The Office of INternal Affairs in our Capitol, I am NOT GOING AWAY QUIETLY. I am their preverbial squeaky wheel. With my background, I KNOW UNEQUIVICOALLY what abuse looks like and if they try to close this case with "no findings" they are COMPLICIT WITH THE ABUSE, and I will seek appropriate legal action. My attorney is on speed dial!

Stepdrama2020's picture

Kind lady what a total nightmare.

My upmost respect that you are one strong lady.

Please post a blog Im sure you will get tons of readers.

Blessings that your nasty skids get their such deserved kick in the pants karma

MissTexas's picture

It has been nothing but an uphill battle all the way.

The interesting thing is, I've been one step ahead almost the entire time.

Moves require counter moves...

Birchclimber's picture

Omg.  I just read your blog from 2020, Miss Texas.  Now I'm all caught up...but now I'm just speechless.  You've endured WAY too much trauma from this man and his kids, (daughter in particular).  Hang in there, and keep us posted. 

MissTexas's picture

Yeah, unfortunately, there's so much more to all of this, but it would take a book to explain it all and go into detail. I may actually do that one day. I've been encouraged to by many.

It has been absolutely unbelievable. Even if I write the book, I wonder if people will even believe it??

No choice but to hang in there, and I will do that!

MissTexas's picture

Yeah, unfortunately, there's so much more to all of this, but it would take a book to explain it all and go into detail. I may actually do that one day. I've been encouraged to by many.

It has been absolutely unbelievable. Even if I write the book, I wonder if people will even believe it??

No choice but to hang in there, and I will do that!