Well we talked… right before leaving for a weekend trip
I decided to not just give up on marriage and have a talk about how I felt used, unappreciated and unloved. I spoke about how we should be a team and if things are not concidered my responsibility (from his stand point) then why do I need to ask for help and thank him (or SKids) for helping do it. I was told that I am too demanding in how I want things done so they stopped helping. From my viewpoint, I just want things done right, light cleaning the entire toilet and not just inside when telling me the bathroom is cleaned.
He continually brought up examples from years ago when I asked him for examples of how I mistreated him or disrespected him. I reminded him we talked since then and wanted recent examples. He had a hard time pin pointing them (because I knew I changed) I said that I will keep comments to myself going forward because he said I "poo poo" on him when he does try to help. He got mad that I said I won't comment. Um, just provided you with a solution, so why are you mad about it?
He said he wanted to talk to me but not before I left for my weekend trip. I reminded him I have been home 4 of the last 6 days, at any point he could've said something, but it was up to me to start this conversation. I am now just tired of talking about it I asked him to be more romatic and treat me like a woman. His comment was that he tried to say nice things and be physical it I reject him. I then explained that I am not a switch, and saying something nice or slapping my add just doesn't instantly put me in the "mood" and make everything instantly better.
I feel that with everything I said, he didn't want to take any blame and continually asked me to meet him half way on this stuff. But what's half way? He couldn't answer. He wants me to change, but doesn't look inward for his own change. He said he wanted me to be the woman I was when we were dating. I explained that woman was childless, had her own home, took vacations, and spent time socializing with friends and going out. That woman didn't have the responsibility of taking care of 3 other humans and what they do around our home, making them meals, and managing all the finances. He apologized for ruining my life. Ugh! He asked, I answered, and he immediately went there.
I am so lost for words now, and so tired of talking in circles. My girls weekend has been sidetracked by him wanting to "talk" because he is having a rough time with all of this. I needed this time away and feel he is sabotaging it
as always. Thanks for the forum to vent in freely.