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Halo hit her limit of bs for today or shall I say tired of drama everyday

halo1998's picture

Today sucked @ss and I'm tired of living in freaking drama.

Sd did go to the Dr for the "hurt" hip.  Diagnosis was a pulled muscle or maybe a sprain.  Nothing they can do about but take advil to reduce the pain and inflammation.  NO SH*T REALLY YOU DONT SAY.  So a $100 bucks and five phone calls from Beaver to figure out SD isn't dying of bone cancer or some sh*t.

On the heels of that revelation we got a bill for $994.00 from last month when SD had a pain in her side and had to go the Dr.  A sh*t ton of tests or shall I say 1K later the diagnosis was nothing. ABSOLUTELY F$CKING NOTHING.  So then DH had to pay the bill and send it to Beaver to pay her portion, a whole $300.  Care to guess if we will see that money... yea I will win the lottery before that happens.  Waste of time and money.

Then DH gets notice that SD has failed both her ap gov test and her physics test. Ughhh...and her excuse is the teachers don't like her. Sure that's it.  Couldn't be that she shouldn't be taking an ap class or the fact she is dumb as a post just like Beaver.  Yes I said it this kid is not smart and she isn't pretty enough to get by on her looks. 
 

DH is already on edge waiting for his new job to start at the end of the month he is a ball of moodiness right now. The sh*t with Sd isn't helping his mood.  

Every f$cking day it's something with SD  Grades, a ride to work, whether or not she will be here before or after school or some illness, whetaher she will get a drivers license or not, etc 

It's been 15 f$cking years I WANT A DRAMA FREE LIFE.  FOR F$ck sake my ex is a diagnosed narcissist and I don't have this much drama from him and I didn't have this much even when my kids were young.

I lost my sh*t fixing my 30+ year old cabinets since the freaking shelf pins broke off in the holes. It wasn't the cabinets, they were just the last thing on a long list of sh*t that I have dealt with.  
 

I HAVE REACHED MY LIMIT. 15 YEARS IS LING ENOUGH TO LIVE IN CONSTANT DRAMA.
 

 

Comments

JRI's picture

Some of these people live for drama.  I dont get it, I just want peace.  I've decided it's a bid for attention plus life seems boring without drama when you're a person without a lot going on in your mind.  Sadly, it sounds like your BM and SD are both in this category.

It's so aggravating.  Life is difficult enough without these people manufacturing this crap.  Have a glass of wine, dear Halo, and don't do another task today.  You've had enough.

JRI's picture

SD51 was an active kid, the motion never stopped, non-stop activity and desires for entertainment.  But very often, about 11 pm, she would come to me with some medical emergency.  It was never gushing bloid, but vague, severe symptoms.  I'd try to figure it out, make plans to take her to an ER if not better by morning then spend a sleepless night.  

Presto, by morning she was always well.  It took me years to realize it was a bid for one-on-one attention once the other 4 kids were in bed.  It wasnt as though she didnt get daily attention but I suppose the desire for more was insatiable.  Tiresome, aggravating, ridiculous.

halo1998's picture

its always something with the SD.  I just want peace and quiet.  I'm done..my kids are grown and for the most part independant.  SD won't take steps to get her license..won't think about the future...just assumes everyone will take care of her.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Can you and DH refuse to pay some of these Munchausen bills? Seems like at some point enough is enough and BM should be on her own. 

halo1998's picture

its in DH's shared parenting agreement that he pays 70 versus her 30.  In the 15 years I have been with DH at no time has Beaver ever taken any financial responsibility for the skids.  She believes she is relieved of that duty once she spit out the kids. 

CastleJJ's picture

If it is in their shared parenting agreement that BM is responsible for 30% and you have served her with the adequate reimbursement paperwork, file contempt. She doesn't get to get out of her financial obligation because she birthed the kids.

Yesterdays's picture

Agree, I would fight so hard. Out of principal. Because she should be paying her portion. I would be livid.. She's taking SDs bogus health pains that are costing over thousand dollars. And then not paying her measly portion. Like is Beaver doing this on purpose... I don't know but it's fishy. She certainly plays along. The fact that she doesn't pay her portion either. Seriously I would fight and make her pay. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Yep. That's the only way to make it stop. Like, even if you have to spend some on lawyer fees to prove she's not paying her part and maybe, just maybe get a judge to agree she is taking her to frivolous appts. Even the threat may be enough to get her to cool it. Fk having Beaver run up astronomical medical bills and not pay a dime. 

AlmostGone834's picture

10 to 1 after SD ages out the mystery illnesses and the corresponding $$$$$ doctor bills will stop (you know, now that SD or Beaver is 100% responsible for them)

Between your husbands ... ahem, "past indiscretions" and all the SD/Beaver drama I wouldn't blame you for going nuclear on all of them. 
 

 

halo1998's picture

Beaver took him to the DR for every hangnail and sniffle.  Add in the various pysch doctors...it was a lot.  Magically after GWR stopped talking to DH and we dropped him from insurance after he tuned 18...the DR visits stopped.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

You need and deserve a vacation!

Why does DH pay medical bills when Beaver takes her to the doctor? Shouldn't whoever takes her pay the bill and then ask for reimbursement? Either that, or just pay his share directly to the provider?

Yesterdays's picture

This was absolutely my thought too! Why isn't she footing the bill first if she's the one who brings her? Then DH reimburse. I would actually fight tooth and nail to make BM pay her portion even if it's much less. Even if it's super annoying. I would light a fire under her butt. If necessary if after a certain amount of time and asking she didn't pay I would send a legal letter to her. Once she pays a few times the illnesses might "stop" magically. All better! 

CastleJJ's picture

I find that most drama stems from lack of boundaries. It sounds like DH has failed to set any boundaries with either BM or SD. If SD is on BM's time, then it should be BM's responsibility - need a ride to work? Ask BM. If BM can't, you'll have to figure something out. Wants to drop by whenever? Sorry, were busy but you can drop by on x day. DH needs to stop engaging in BM and SD's drama so much and stop stepping in to save the day. 

Your SD seems like she is going to be a failure to launch type situation with her lack of academic drive and obvious lack of common sense. She is going to need to learn how to work herself out of situations like no ride to work and such. DH (and BM) constantly stepping in to solve those issues isn't going to help her learn. 

halo1998's picture

and it mirrors yours.  If SD is at Beavers..then its Beavers responsibilty.  Not his....if he goes to pick up SD from Beaver's on his Friday...let SD that he is there..wait 5 minutes and if SD doesn't get in the car. LEAVE.  Beaver can take her to school...especially since technically she has SD till 8 a.m.

That's ok..I got tired of SD using the spare bathroom for clothes hamper by putting her clothes  behind the bathroom door. I have now confiscated those...and let see if she notices.  

Yesterdays's picture

What I would do is tally up Beavers unpaid portion from ALL of the medical receipts and invoices. And have a lawyer send a letter requesting the entire amount to be paid to DH. Have a nice little excel spreadsheet invoice showing the total of the bill in one column, DHs share in another column and Beavers share (still owing). Draft a concise letter. In the letter, outline the total cost of treatments combined  (which is an exorbitant amount) and the amount Beaver owes, respectfully. 

halo1998's picture

DH is really good about keeping track, etc.  He won't nickle and dime her...but this was significant.  So as the bills come rolling in he will pay and send Beaver a request of reimbursement.  Its just freaking annoying..the whole damn thing since its so predictable.

Failing grades = increase in physical ailments.  SD is following the exact same pattern that GWR followed.....and look where he is working full time at a fast food restaurant and living in Beaver's basement.

Yesterdays's picture

So she probably uses the ailments as an excuse as to the bad grades? She seems full of excuses. My step son also used the "teachers just don't like me" card. It's easy to see, isn't it. The manipulation tactics. Which Beaver seems to support. It gets SD out off reality and having to face situations. It have accountability 

halo1998's picture

the teachers don't like her, they lose her homework, the teachers don't explain anything...and then you add the fake illness on top of that. 

Beaver loves to use the failing grades to say..."Oh look your Dad is too hard on you....you doing your beeesssstttt"  and the illness.."oh your DAD doesn't care about you..he won't help you."

 

Ughhhhh....

AgedOut's picture

She's taking the same path to failure that her brother took and she's so thrilled with all the extra mommy attention that she stands no chance of breaking free. Imaginary illnesses + failing school + no motivation = life in the land of the Beav.

halo1998's picture

and that is what I told DH.  SD is lapping up the extra attention since she is scape goat normally and GWR aka SS is the golden child.  SD will never break free from Beaver. 

 

CLove's picture

Thinks she needs Dr visits and is a "chronic truant" but the principal is "crazy" and the teacher is "mean.

No permit/license at 2 months shy of 17...

No job...but BM Toxic Troll just got her settlement of 21k so she doesnt need a job...just needs to put her hand out.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

I am at 10years....Its scary to see ppl who have been in it for 15-20yrs and its still going on....Idk how we will get out of the other side of the tunnel with sane minds and sane bodies....

 

I really applaud you and all the members for managing for so long....its expected to lose it tho...we arent robots...and thats a lot of drama

I have 3 years before the last one ages out but the older ones are still around and even more than before....especially the 21 yo no job/degree having asshole....

 

Dont know when this ends....it seems lifelong....Another member mentioned that after dealing with step drama for 30+years, she was thrust in grandstepdrama!

I used to lose it and become angry a lot but since summer of 2021, I stopped caring....catalyst was one of my loved ones dying....I am completely numb....

want to destroy the house? Ok 

Want to break electronics and damage fixtures? Ok

Want to move in and live here while being waited on hand and foot at 21yo? Ok

 

This is the definition of breaking someones will