Don’t really know how to feel, SS coming back
SS16 cut DH off after DH tried to have a calm conversation with him about his poor behaviour, wagging school and some serious lies he was telling. DH continued to try and contact SS but SS would not answer him at all so DH told him he's always welcome here and to contact him when he's ready. After this SS and BM made up all sorts of tales and it caused some pretty serious family drama.
Anyhow SS and DH have not spoken in about 2 years and while I feel bad for DH, SS and his sibling here it's actually been incredibly peaceful. For over a decade we had SS almost every weekend and every single visit we would be abused by BM or she would withold SS or refuse to stick to the pick ups etc, SS was mostly a well behaved child but when he wanted to misbehave He sure could do it well and his brother was often the target. We haven't had to deal with that for 2 years and to be honest it's actually been nice not having the stress. Our marriage and home life has been the best it's ever been! DS has been so settled no longer wondering if and when he will see his brother and what mood he will be in.
MIL has taken it upon herself to try "fix" the relationship between DH and SS, I think she's decided to do this because we are moving and she might think this will stop us going. SS is still lying to her saying he's tried to reach out to DH but that DH has blocked him which isn't true and that DH cut SS off when it was actually SS who cut contact with DH. DH doesn't want anyone interfering in it/ trying to fix it because it's not that simple of a situation and it's no one's business but he won't say anything to MIL.
I don't know how to feel about the whole situation, of course I would love SS to be around again but at the same time his behaviour hasn't changed, he's still lying, DH is now getting abusive messages again from BMs older kids now that MIL is making contact with them. I'm scared I'm going to loose the peace that we have found and our marriage is going to go back to being strained and the gates of abuse from BM and co will open up, that our child will again be a target of his brothers careless behaviour.
I told DH how I feel and he said it will never go back to being like that but I know for a fact he's going to tread on eggshells and allow so many of those behaviours to happen again in fear he will lose his son again.
I feel so scared to be honest. And it's all made me realise even more how toxic the entire situation has been for over a decade!!