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Strange legal situation 20 years after the divorse

Marianne's picture

My DH divorced in 2003. They used a mediator and settled on agreements. Ex-wife made him miserable during the marriage by openly dating a prominent married doctor for two years while he worked and provided most of their daughter's care. DH is still angry about that. Next post divorce--they rarely spoke or had contact. Ex then alienated their daughter from him and told him that DD did not want to visit on his weekends--she better enjoyed hanging with her friends. He was hurt, but wanted DD to be happy. Daughter ended up being disrespectrul, silent treatment, manipulative, and even stole valuables from our home. We are no contact now. DH is bitter over his ex. Here is the legal situation. He never opened the divorce decree after signing with the lawyer. It was his responsibility to quitclaim a condo she was awarded. He never did it because of not opening divorce decree envelope. A lawyer for ex contacted us saying a quitclaim was being overnighted to him and asking for his signature. He does not want to sign it. He will give me proxy to sign it. Ex has a terminal disease. DH wants to get revenge by stalling on his signature. The alienation was bad. I get it. The ex's lawyer is going to call and speak with him in a few days. Should I try and convince him of what to do?

ESMOD's picture

He just needs to sign what he was ordered to sign 20 years ago.. seriously.. at this point who cares.. it was decided..

Marianne's picture

That's how I feel too--will work on it.

CajunMom's picture

He needs to sign the papers immediately or else look forward to more legal troubles that will cost him a lot of money. Revenge is not always the best way to act. It's been 20 years and the woman is dying. Do asap what he should have done 20 years ago. 

Marianne's picture

Thanks-I will help him take care of it.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

He needs to stop trying to hide behind your skirts & just handle his VERY overdue business.

Survivingstephell's picture

You might have to explain the legal fees involved if he doesn't sign and she dies.  Can he afford that ? And to go thru more ex drama when she's dead?  Paint him the most painful picture.  Compare that to signing it and it's over  

justmakingthebest's picture

It's a signature on something that has been ordered. He can't fight it. It's dumb to still be bitter.

I would shoot right back at him: Aren't you happy with how you ended up? Isn't our life together good? Aren't we happy? Haven't we worked hard for this life? THEN QUIT BEING BITTER ABOUT YOUR EX. Move the F on already. 

Marianne's picture

It was at Christmas when his daughter let him know that he was lost to her. It sounded final.. DH is so hurt by psycho , sociopath daughter. He is better now and all is cool. I'm headed to the post office with doc.

Marianne's picture

DH has mild/moderate dementia. Where he lives in time does vary. His personality has changed and he is not as thoughtful and considerate. I should have taken over getting the document signed and notarized from the start. I just pretend sometimes that he is okay. Thank you all for your replies.


Livingoutloud's picture

So if he wasn't signing because he has dementia then it's a bit different. He didn't have dementia 20 years ago. I'd check for other things he missed or didn't do just in case. 

the whole story is weird. You've been with DH since SD was 5, but she is 32 now. Yet divorce happened only 20 years ago. Were you with him for years while he was married? Is that why SD has nothing to do with dad and you? 

Marianne's picture

DH and I married when his DD was 18. I knew his daughter from being her day camp director. When BM started dating while married to DD, we did the same. Their divorce was handled by a mediator they shared. It seemed friendly until papers were signed. DD gave ex-wife a condo and large cash settlement and generous child support. After all was signed things were going well (I thought) until DH and I married five years later. We never lived together and his daughter was nice to me until the marriage. It has all been strange and unhappy. I'll take responsibility for my mistakes. Our marriage was a wreck right from the start. I did the best I could. The Quit Claim is signed, notarized, delivered.

Birchclimber's picture

We never lived together and his daughter was nice to me until the marriage.  The marriage is usually "the straw that broke the camel's back".  The Skids tolerate us until that point.  Once we say our I do's, the battle begins.  That's when the skids get into a one sided power struggle over time, love, attention and finally, inheritance.

I am sorry to hear that you view your marriage as a "wreck right from the start".  That's no way to go through life.  Why didn't you cut the cord?

Patience2000's picture

I'm sorry your DH is ill. I say let him have this and make his ex as miserable as possible.

Marianne's picture

I can understand why DH wanted to drag things out. Losing his daughter from age 13 - 33 is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed in life. BM made D over into such a bitch of a woman. I did let her lawyer know why DH didn't want to sign and the lawyer understood what was at play. Atter I sent word that the doc was notarized, signed, and on it's way to the lawyer, she copied BM's email latest email. "Can we assume no word from ________." Let's me know that ex was expecting some retaliation.