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update on the big lie

Shieldmaiden's picture

This is an update on the big lie. When DH got home from work yesterday, he said his sister (who was supposed to come over with her husband and sons for Thanksgiving) sent him a long, irate text. She said he needed to get his head out of his a$$ or he would lose his family. He is not sure why she is suddenly full of hate towards us, unless of course, SD21 called her aunty and wailed about him not allowing her to Thanksgiving, and then repeated the big lie. Great! Now I have more psychos that hate me for no reason.

So, it looks like Thanksgiving will be just the 3 of us. Me, my dad, and DH. I am kind of glad. The harpy twins keep saying they will come over later, but who knows and who cares? Less work for me and I don't have to sidestep awkward conversations about why the SD's are spreading lies. They must be super scared of BM evicting them, to be trying this hard to get me out of the picture after 11 years. I can't think of another reason why this is coming up all of a sudden. DH is really getting a taste of how low his kids can sink to.


advice.only2's picture

Your DH should respond “If you believe that I would stay married to somebody who would slam my kids head in a freezer then we really aren’t family.”

Stepdrama2020's picture

Toxic folks are all about gang mentality. They recruit others to hate on you and your DH. Thats where they percieve their power is.

You dont need to defend yourself to people who take toxic crazeees at their word. I do get though you need to set the record straight. Dang it though. In due time toxic shit piles bare their toxic hinds.

Your TG will be toxic free. Take that as a win.

Also let your DH deal with his family crap. The less you are involved the more peaceful it will be for you.

Blessings and Peaceful TG to you. 

CLove's picture

SD23 Feral Forger and all her narratives, er lies. Shed make things up and tell the story so many times shed fool herself into believing the lies. And many times there were the little grains of truth, such as the time, or the weather, or something, that I think that helped her recall the details. "it was on a Tuesday night, I had just dyed my hair bright pink, and I was in the garage dad-cave and Clove told me that I am mean to everyone. Then she called me an effing -b, told me Im disgusting and she hates me!"

So the general details were true. She did just dye her hair bright pink. She did show her father. She was talking to him about Toxic Trolls boyfriend who said no one wants her around. I laughed and said "of course we want you around - your just so mean to everyone" whereby she went ballistic on me and luckily Husband and SD16 SMPS were both there listening, because next thing I know shes calling be the effing-B, shes telling me she effing hates me, Im disgusting, Im a monster, etc....

AND she proceeds to go to Toxic Trolls for visitation and wouldnt you know it, TT texts husband with the exact details of what went down. And asked if it was true. He said "nope, that was Feral Forger saying all that to Clove".

And she of course has told everyone it was me...

Shieldmaiden's picture

Wow, sounds like Feral Forger is a nutcase. Sorry. I can't believe I this is all going down on Thanksgiving week. Ugh. Wish I could go to someone else's house for Thanksgiving this year and avoid this drama.

Shieldmaiden's picture

UPDATE: Now DH's sister is group texting that she is sticking up for SD21 and wants her invited to TG at my house. Hmmmm.... This family is kinda nuts. I am not responding. I have my restraining order queued up for SD21 though, should she show up.

Kaylee's picture

Text meddling SIL there is NO TG for anyone at your house this year except you, H and your Dad.

Then when you have sent the text, BLOCK them all - her, the SDs, anyone who is giving you grief...


CajunMom's picture

I remember the years we "played" nice for holidays. Of course, always at our house, with me cooking from 5am in the morning till time to eat, then clean up left to me and my bios. DHs kids came for holidays with nothing but their hands out. When I finally had enough, I ended it. DH and I began traveling or going camping for holidays. Or we kept it simple with just my  bios and a few friends.

Today, our holiday dinners are small. Gone are the days of having 15+ people for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And you know what? I LOVE it. It's peaceful, DH and I have our time together and there is zero stress or walking on eggshells. 

I'd make this my future plans. Just you, DH and those who are in harmony with you.

Rags's picture

When SS-30 was ~5-13 we went camping in Big Bend every TG.  With friends or friends and family. The longer we did it, the bigger hte crowd became.

To minimize the cooking burden, as we drove out of town Mid-Day on Wednesday I would swing by and pick up the full catered TG feast at either Boston Market or the selected restaurant for that year. it all went in a giant cooler with ice packs and off we went.  We would overnight at a hotel in Fort Stockton then drive into Stillwell Ranch on Thursday AM.  Set up the camp site (out in the middle of nowhere on the Ranch) then go either on a 4WD trip or a hike in the park.  We would get back to our camp just before sunset, get a roaring fire going, spark up the camp stoves, put the grate over the fire, warm up the feast, then everyone would gobble till they wobbled.  We would spend until Sunday AM camping then break camp and drive home.

Prep was easy since someone else did all of the cooking. Clean up was easy. Put the left-povers back in the cooler, burn all of the disposable plates, etc.... talk, laugh, and then fall exhausted into the sleeping bag to get rested for the next day of out in the middle of nowhere adventures.  Depending on which year ti was, there could be some bitterly cold nights. Mostly, it was pleasant.

Because our CO provided for a long distance visitation schedule, DW always had TG and Christmas so we did not have the holiday drama to deal with in battle with the SpermClan.

lala-land's picture

So your SD21 feels that BM may evict her and is now demanding to be let into your home for thanksgiving and one would assume she also thinks she can return there when/if her BM tosses her out.  She has accused you of abusing her and has enlisted her aunt to fight on her behalf.  This reeks of desperation and entitlement  on her part and would be a no from me.  Actions have consequences and as an adult she is free to sort out her messes on her own.