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SS10 Arrived & Update on BM's Petition for CS Review

CastleJJ's picture

SS10 arrived yesterday for Thanksgiving break visitation. DH and BM switched directions for transportation this visit, so BM was dropping SS off to us instead of picking him up. I was nervous to see if BM would try to come into our house to drop off, since she is the type that gets out of the car, comes up and rings the doorbell, says "bye" to SS and then leaves. A few years ago, she walked into our townhouse apartment and immediately walked past DH, walking upstairs to tour the bedrooms. DH and I felt super violated by this, as she had walked through and seen the whole apartment. When we called her out on it, she said she had every right to "inspect where SS would be staying." We used this as evidence in our court battle and she was scolded by the judge. Since then, we always did pick ups at the clubhouse of our apartment complex, but now we are in our house. Since it is cold where we live, I figured she would ring the doorbell and try to come into the foyer to say her goodbyes. Unfortunately, our house is extremely open concept, so you see the whole main floor from the front door, making it hard to have any sort of mystery to unwanted visitors. 

BM and GF dropped SS off about 10 minutes late. They did come up and ring the doorbell, but BM did not try to come in. DH was also standing in the doorway to prevent her from attempting it. She stayed about 6 feet from the front door on the porch, gave SS a hug and left. The whole exchange was less than 2 minutes which I am super grateful for. And the best part - SS did not arrive with a perfume covered stuffed animal, GPS tracking watch, nothing! He showed up empty handed for the first time since 2019. 

Last night, we took SS out to go grocery shopping. While we were driving, we passed DD's daycare, which SS pointed out. He hadnt seen it in person before. I used that to segway into SS no longer needing daycare. SS said he was so relieved to no longer be at daycare after school. He said he was the oldest one there. I asked him if BM and GF's work hours changed and that was why he wasn't going anymore. He said BM's work hours didn't change. He said GF's did so she is home more and if GF isn't home, then SS gets himself off the bus and is home alone for an hour until GF gets home. I then probed about BM's jobs, non-chalantly asking how they were going. Is she doing well at the hospital? Is she still doing door dash and private counseling? SS confirmed all three and also told us that in December, BM is being promoted to manager at the hospital and is receiving a hefty pay bump... 

And there it is, the reason BM petitioned for the income review. She wants to get her 3 year review in before she gets a huge pay raise from her promotion. Funny thing is, I highly doubt this will be resolved by December. DH is also supposed to receive a promotion with a hefty pay raise but DH is friends with his boss and told his boss to hold off until this issue is resolved, which his boss is happy to do. 

SS is doing well so far with our visit. He adapted almost immediately and already started working on a Christmas list for us. I'm hoping his visit continues to go well. 


JRI's picture

Maybe BM's counseling is helping her and, by extension, SS.  Happy Thanksgiving!

CastleJJ's picture

Oh, BM isn't receiving counseling. She is a licensed therapist so she has been offering remote telehealth therapy for a year or so, according to SS. Honestly, the idea of HCBM (who is a major narc with a slew of undiagnosed mental health conditions) providing mental health counseling to anyone is terrifying. 

Ispofacto's picture

Put money aside, in case she gets an increase, it will be retro.  But yeah, delay as long as you can.