You are here

My actual birthday wish

EveryoneLies's picture

Is that I don't have to celebrate it with SS. (I don't really celebrate, i really just want a day, a few days, without him)

But this is too mean and too much to ask for; I hope in 3 years it will finally be the way I've wanted. 

I'm so sick of SS's lying (about everything, and he's never wrong), and arguing about his "rights" (none of his rights were ever violated).  It's really funny even when we are "so abusive" and "violating his rights," not one day he'd like to move to his own mother. I wonder if it's possible because he also couldn't stand someone just like himself.

I don't know how to explain to this boy that his "sorry" is not magical, they don't heal wounds and feeling of betrayal. And he freaking have the choice and power to choose not to lie. 

I really just want a bday only with people I care, but this is not something I can ask for. 





Cover1W's picture

I've never celebrated my birthday with the SDs. OK, maybe ONE time that was unavoidable.

Otherwise we re-arrange my actual celebration when they/YSD isn't here.

EveryoneLies's picture

SS lives with us 100% of the time. My bday is always during thanksgiving holidays. There is no way to avoid him. Sad

Cover1W's picture

Sorry 2


Stepdrama2020's picture

Tell your DH you want free time for your special day. You deserve it.



EveryoneLies's picture

It's just that it will sound mean to exclud only SS. I don't mind being with my DD (of course) and DH, just that SS usually makes everything about him is tiring and...I don't like to deal with it.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Every dang time SS tries to make this day about him turn the tables. Redirect the conversation onto you and your day.

Sounds immature but dang beat the lil tyrant at his own game.

EveryoneLies's picture


This is funny, and I'm acutally laughing lol. I haven't tried this and to be honest I don't know what topics I can use for this. SS had already tried to "educate" me about how to invest when we were talking about investment because he read a book about it lol. I know he didn't do this to annoy anyone but it doesn't change the fact that it is annoying...

Winterglow's picture

Lead with how the average brain doesn't finiish developing until its owner is in his/her twenties. Continue with making pom-poms, blowing soap bubbles, breeding cats, tying your shoe laces, baking muffins, how to tie a bow-tie, getting stuck in the bath, it doesn't matter what the subject is as long as it's boring as hell.

"Did you know" and "I read an article today" are good ways to start the subjects.

CajunMom's picture

My dear freind just celebrated her birthday ALONE. Took a flight to the west coast and enjoyed a week touring, eating, resting and having fun.

When DHs kids were still coming here and I've wanted special days:

I rented myself a hotel with a pool...and enjoyed my time shopping and relaxing by the pool.

I've done girls weekends for my birthday, utilizing hotels. I've also done weekends and just stayed at one of my friend's homes.

If your DH won't give you a special time for your birthday, then you make your day special and let DH babysit SS and DD.

EveryoneLies's picture

I can tell DH i want to celebrate alone, he never says no to requests like this and never complains if he has to take care of DD. But i know for sure he'd feel sad if I say i don't want to celebrate with him though. (He might never say it out loud) 

And I do like to spend time with people I like...SS is just not one of them. 

EveryoneLies's picture

This is very interesting, thank you very much. I'm gonna bookmark the site.

I acutally enjoy traveling alone (done it many times, although nowadays it takes me 3 solid days just to de-stress before I actually get in the vacation mode), it's interesting how much more I actually see when my heart is quiet and peaceful. 

Now even that peace is a luxury lol

Rags's picture

something you can make happen.

My bride and I have spent the occassionall holiday apart due to travel, family events, where we were living at the time.  We both miss each other when we are apart, but we do both appreciate that we can have some alone time or time with friends and family without the other.

It is a balance.

Take care of you.

Crr18's picture

My SO makes the kids come and have cake with me for my birthday. He said they should do this. I know me or the skids don't care but he thinks it is important. But me and SO celebrate on our own too.  We just pick another day for the cake with the skids. I wouldn't want my birthday spent entirely with skids who don't care about me.