Not coping well, adult skids
Hi All, Been reading posts & everyone is so supportive with good advice. My DH & I have been together for 12 years, married for 2. He is currently in treatment for cancer & post stroke. Doing fairly well but needs help & is a fall risk so I don't leave him alone. We are both in our early 70s & so far I am healthy & able to care for him. I have 2 adult kids & 2 young grands. He has adult kids with late teen grands. My kids live him because he loves me & he is good to them. DH was a widower whose wife died a few years before we met. His kids were unhappy about us from the start. They were upset they weren't informed he was dating and SD was upset DH was not at her back & call to do things around her house (she has a husband) and babysit. They are jealous if any time ir attention he gives my kids. My DH was caregiver for his late wife & although he never says anything bad about his kids, he said SD & SS had problems coping & so could not help much. DH has had a difficult relationship with son who tries to control him & tell him what to do. They were often horrible to me but DH set them straight & I bent over backwards to be nice to them. We now live in another state in a condo set up so it is easier for DH & because it is warm & DH loves it there. We are back at the lake house DH built for a few months to be with family & friends although it is difficult to be here- stairs to get in & 2 levels. So I though we had reached a decent relationship with Skids & I have kept them up to date on DH condition. I retired after his stroke & have been unable to continue the consulting work I planned on due to his care. SD asked about his will & I told her DH & I left everything to each other except for the previous plans for 401s to go to respective kids. SD told SS & 2 weeks ago they came to visit & attacked both of us because they don't get the lake house right away when DH dies. If he dies before me they have to wait till I die. I was devastated that they yelled I would sell it or leave it to my kids, that I would change my will that leaves it to them . I should have known that they feel it belongs to them as they have always acted that way. I can't go back to any kind of relationship with them now that I know how they feel about me. They can have the house but I don't want anything to do with them now but still want them to have relationship with DH as he is not well. I am so stressed as they have been back and were again nasty & yelling at both of us. Thank you all for listening & letting me vent. So stressful to care for DH & all that goes with that & now this. They have not done anything to help with the house. My family got it ready for us to come back.