You are here

SD...I fear is being groomed by the Beaver to be just like her

halo1998's picture

Sigh...Beaver is not the sharpest rodent in the den..I used to call her Dumb as a Box of Rocks....because well she is.

Her goal in life was to find some guy with earning potential, marry him and then sit at home watch TV and shop.  Enter DH.  Beaver had this life where she shopped, got her nails/hair done and watched TV while DH worked and then came home to take care of the household duties.  This was good until DH realizes that this life is BS...and leaves her lazy @ss and divorces her.  Beaver now has to support herself and has been single, other than a brief 2 year relationship, for the last 15 years.

Yep...Beaver that plan really worked for you there...

Now I feel like Beaver is trying to set up SD for the same...

She is taking SD to get lash extensions now and a massage and her nails done.  Beaver buys SD all kinds of short, barely there clothing and encourges the pancake makeup, etc.  She also tells SD she just needs to meet a guy so that he can take care of her. She deserves to be treated like a QUEEEN...aka the guy pays for everything SD sits on her rear. biggest fear SD will pop out a few kids with some guy or guys and then end up like Beaver and will be knocking on our door for handouts.


TheAccidentalSM's picture

I couldn't bear to have a life of shopping, tv and handouts.  I'd be driven insane by the boardom of it all.

Shieldmaiden's picture

OMG, my SD16 is the same. Her mom takes her to get fake nails (since she was 12) and I call SD "Mama's lil divorce lawyer". She constantly defends her mom's bad behavior, all while accepting handouts from her like a new SUV, fake nails, money, clothes, etc. She is not the sharpest tool - book smart but can't understand most of human interaction. She has the fake eyelashes and spends her days million dollar house hunting on Redfin, for "when she has a job and can buy a house." I'm 48 and I just bought my first house after saving for years, but hey, life has got to be easier for her because she is mildy pretty and very bossy, right?  

I feel for you. Sometimes I want to bang my head against a wall rather than listen to her inane chatter and smug self-centeredness. I find that noise cancelling headphones and a weed gummy help blot out the stupid in my environment. 

halo1998's picture

in all honestly.  She is ok...but not anything all that special.  SHe is interesting since she wear lashes and a ton of makeup but her hair looks like  rats nest and her clothes are usually mismatched jammie pants and shirts.


TheAccidentalSM's picture

Sounds like the prettiness of youth.

Ashleytenorio17's picture

This sounds like our BM and SD. SD is only 12 but BM has been grooming her over the years to be just like her . She started with the make up about 3 years ago and not just cheap target make up... no no no this is brand named make up from ulta and Sephora. sD was 10 and using expensive facial sprays, body soaps and such plus expensive perfumes. She started the expensive shoes already at this point . Now comes the barely there clothing she has been wearing for the past 2 years , we are talking skin tight biker shorts and tiny tight crop tops. She has been taking SD to get her eye brows waxed for the past year... sigh. BM didn't work for about 10 years after SD was born. She pretty much depended on DH then after DH she married a guy who made good money . Well BM messed that up and was force to take care of herself , of course she found a boyfriend to move in with her... I fear the same with SD, she will pop out a kid early because BM has taught her to seek attention.. 

halo1998's picture

at like age 7....SD wouldn't sit still.  

Yea Beaver totally fubar'd it with DH..she refused to do the bare minium around the house and he finally said...eff this and left her @ss. She has been unable to find another to replace DH and at 46 I don't see it happening now,.

Sd has had the numerous body spays, lotions, candles whatever for years.  

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Sadly, your SD will likely be below average. The best you can hope for is that you've planted a few useful seeds and taught her a few life skills that will serve her well someday.

YSD's BM was a professional honey trap welfare lifer parasite, always careful of her appearance so she could attract suckers. And sadly, she taught her daughter that attracting men equalled success. I did my best to overwrite this b.s., but we SPs can only do so much. 

Best not to dwell on the wasted potential, and instead focus on ensuring SD will not be living in your basement at thirty.

hregal2011's picture

I have the other end of the spectrum. BM has always been stinky-she doesn't believe in showering more than 1x/wk (how the eff DH married and procreated with this is beyond me..) And growing up, SD was Not bathed by BM and routinely had lice/sores in the underwear area from being dirty...and a helmet of cradle cap thick dandruff!! I used to have to check her hair on the porch every time she came over (we contacted DYS and was told that because mom doesn't shower either-it's not considered abuse/neglect..)

fast forward to now and she is 16 with teen/girl smells and she will not bathe at all unless asked.  

ii totally agree that the lessons she is getting on your case are not ok...she is creating a monster.

The_Upgrade's picture

Ever heard the saying "as sharp as a sack of wet mice?"