Need outside perspective on sticky situation
So my step sons mom is not someone who makes coparenting easy. Every week she has to do something to my step son to make him cry everytime he is in our care. Court order says that step son can only stay the night with us every other weekend, and on Wed and Thurs we get him till a certain time. Well a year ago his mom started dating someone and said we could switch the schedule to where on our weekends, that Wed and Thurs he can stay the night with us. Well last week I guess he told his cousins on his mom side that when two people kiss they are having sex. So mom got mad and wants to put him in private school now and also said she wants to go back to court order days and will be taking him to court again so she can fight to have him in a private school in a different town. Should I add that mom is a school psychologist in the town we all live in. So she says she knows best. She has to constantly have her way and be in control of everyone. She's even told me to my face she needs to control all of us. Okay anyways, this is the part I need advice on. Mom texted dad and said she wants to take SS to Hawaii during summer vacation. Dad said okay sounds great, if you're taking him on your days. But if they dates land on my days then no. This is the first time in 4 years that he has told her no. She will take everything to an extreme to get her way and she always does, well dad is sick of her dictating everything so he wanted to put his foot down. She took away the nights he gets to stay with us and said we're sticking to court orders so thats why dad said no. He told her he doesn't get the same time she does and does not want to miss out on the days he does have with him. Boy did she go off on him sent him about 20 text messages and made her son call dad crying so he could be the one to tell him it's his fault why he cant go to hawaii now. I need an outside perspective on how to advise my husband to handle the situation. We of course want SS to go to hawaii we do not want to deprive him of that experience but just need help on how to go about it.