Done and Not My Problem
I'm married and I'm childless by medical circumstances. My husband and I both have been married before. He has two sons from his previous marriage. We have been together for 17 years now and I'm done with one of the sons entitled behavior.
For years we have sat back and had any gatherings with one of my Stepson canceled at last minute. Things were great until he graduated graduate school and married. My husband quit sending money and the only time we heard from him was if something was wrong like something in his new house went out and he himhawed around having to pay for it. Or his education loans came due and he called complaining about having to repay them while starting a family. His monthly pmts was close to $2,000.00 and I know that the payment are adjust by his annual salary, so 2K pmts he is earning a living and needs to learn to live within his means.
Anyway, for years the excuses came in why he could not join us for Holidays. One year his excuse was they got away from his mothers later than they wanted and are ready to go on home. Come to find out, they were already home and getting ready to go have Holiday with her side of the family. Another year when they were expecting their child, they were suppose to meet at my inlaws house so we all could have holiday and not spend the day running from family to family. My husbands mom cried, she just wanted to see the momma pregnant and feel the baby. They didn't want to be offended by my mother in laws beliefs being different than theirs, so they called, said they were tired and would see us at Easter. Guess what happened then, they called and canceled. Again they were already at his mothers house and having Holiday again in the evening with her family.
Then the holiday came after the baby was born and we planned a gathering again with my inlaws and they canceled. Same ordeal, his mom and her side of the family. My husbands side completely ignored and they expect us to mail the holiday gift to them. I bought for the girls and my hubby took care of the boys. I quit buying present for them after 4 years. They sat in the corner of the room, until one day I said enough. I spent the gift cards and donated the presents to a Thrift Store.
Then I started hearing they were in town and only a couple blocks from our house. Never heard or seen them. I've met the grandbaby once.
My husband was in a car accident. I tried to call and let them know he wasn't well. I was blocked from calling.
I heard the grandbaby had hernia surgery over the internet from a person who is 4th party to me. I tried to call, I'm blocked.
I heard about another surgery another year from another 4th party on the internet. Called and I'm still blocked.
I saw a picture of a grandbaby we didn't even know was born, on the internet by another 4th party. being numb starts kicking in now.
Years down the road now, we haven't heard from them, nor have we been told about the second grandbaby being born a few years ago. My husband is disable now, retired and on limited income. His family is now asking questions and have listened to the sons whinning about how unfair we treated them and how mean I am for putting my foot down and don't want the entitled brats around any way, They think I'm the bad person and we have been forgotten for invitations to dinners etc. I do also understand that when elders in the family die, families split too. And if they want to blame me, go for it. I'm done. No more.
As long as they are entertained and pampered is where they go. We like backyard BBQ's and they want day spa treatment with unlimited drinks and $100/plate menus at others expense. If they pay, he whins about his education loan and raising a family but most of the time they cancel if it requires them to pay for anything is what another family member says.
I'm just so done of trying to make arrangements to get our side of the family recognized. In most families around holidays Thanksgiving if spent with one side of the family and Christmas the other sides. The next year, reversed. Thanksgiving with the other side and then Christmas with the other. In all the years we have been married, my husband has only received one Fathers Day card. No birthday wishes. No how you doing calls and they know his father is ill. They finally came around when the Inlaws passed away to get their pick of the estate. Hooray, they show'd up because they felt they were entitled to something.
Anyway, I'm done, that's it. I'm done. Life is too short to try and be a part of someones life who has made it clear we don't matter. I'm done.