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After 5 yrs- the judge rendered his decision

justmakingthebest's picture

This is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen! We have been fighting for a judgement on CS and Alimony for 5 years. 5. Freaking. Years!

Our cowardly lawyer sent it in the mail with no heads up. It breaks down that Alimony should have ended in June of 2017 (DH paid until March 2018) but the Alimony amount in this order is higher than what they had agreed on, so I don't know what to do with that!

Then in breaks down CS for every year after 2017. We had been "shorting" cs by $300-450 as the years went. The order says to basically get with DCSE for arrears. 

I don't even know what to do with this. Just basic math shows DH owing over 20K in arrears. However, since this doesn't show what to do with everything else - over paid Alimony, divorce debt she never paid, improper claiming on taxes, etc- I don't know! By our calculations she owes DH over 19K. I wish the new CS number started this month. Not having to pay thousands to figure it out!!!!!!

This is why men kill ex wives.  


Oh!!! And since she only has 12% responsibility they still aren't factoring any income beyond her fake disability! She works full time and her taxes have been subpoenaed but never submitted. How can he make a judgement??


NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Your lawyer is so incompetent. 

Did BM even ever acutally provide financial information? I don't know how any of this can even be figured out without her financial information, let alone accurate information since she hides that she works and makes an income right?

It is ridiculous what BM, your lawyer, and this judge have been able to get away with. 

ESMOD's picture

Ughh... yeah.. your lawyer has really hoovered up their money and left your DH with CS in arrears!

Who's idea was this to pursue the judgement.. your DH's? BM's?  It must be particularly bitter considering the alienation that went on.  

I think you guys need to get a clear answer from your lawyer on this.  be very specific.

1.  Why is the alimony in this order different than the original agreed order.

2.  does the CS arrears take into account the overpaid alimony?  (was it calculated to be overpaid???).

3.  Will the debt she was ordered to pay but didn't be netted against this or do we have to get a separate judgement against her for that? 

4.  What about her claiming taxes when she shouldn't 

to be honest, I have a feeling all of those things will be something he has to pursue separately.. and he will end up owing arrears.. that really sucks.. and I hope like hell this wasn't something he thought was going to help him save money.. it sounds like it would have almost been better to leave it alone!


justmakingthebest's picture

We started requesting it 5 years ago so this wouldn't happen, and lookie what happened. 

We knew this was her plan all long so that while SS was in his 20's she would still be collecting! Our lawyer kept advising us to pay the temp order, so that's what we did!

ESMOD's picture

I don't know.

I guess hind sight is 2020.  But, I figure I would have waited for her to bring the fight.. rather than start .. because in the end.. wouldn't he end up paying the same.. now vs later? in total?  

I would def see what the lawyer says about alimony overpayment.. but I don't know that it's typical to offset anything against CS arrears.. he will probably have to pay that. 

Again, it almost seems like it would have been better advice to let her bring the case "whenever" clearly his lawyer was able to run fees up plenty in this case.

I'm sorry you didn't get a better outcome.  After seeing if you get some answers.. I would probably find a new lawyer if possible to deal with things she may owe him  separately.

Livingoutloud's picture

it sucks!

Alimony and CS will be a different thing. He might get money back on alimony but still have to pay CS arrears. I'd look at the original court order about alimony. It can't arbitrarily change! 

it's always scary to ask about new judgement. My DH wanted to ask for reduction or even stopping alimony few years before BM died but the lawyer warned him that it often backfires. When men ask for a new judgement they often end up paying more. Sometimes it's better to sit tight. So we decided not to pursue it. 

 At the end my DH overplayed alimony. BM was dead and no one knew. Skids were estranged from her and no one in either families had any communication. He did get overpaid amount back but it took a long time because they demanded death certificate but we had nothing. But we got it back 

20k is a lot of money. I'd get a new lawyer. Something  is off 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

This sounds awful.  Hope you can at least get some clarity on what is owed.

Livingoutloud's picture

Don't they garnish wages? They took less out than what was the original agreement specified? How do they come up with amount he owes all of a sudden? Or there was never a court order? For 5 years there was only temporary order? Wow. This lawyer made a living out of all this. 

justmakingthebest's picture


We were able to talk to our lawyer last night. He is going to get clairfication on the numbers because no worksheet was recorded. We know that certain things that are eliglable for deductions from CS- like insurance and travel were not calculated in. 

We also know that she never submitted income. So he is requesting that she have to submit her taxes and W-2's considering that they were subpeonaed. I also paid for a background check and have that to prove she is working (not under the table for once) so she isn't disabled and should have imputed income. 

The order says that we are to come to an agreement which obviously won't happen- so we are going back to court. Who knows how this will all play out. I just don't see how if we were operating under a temp order and the judge never made a decision that it falls back on us! It should be from the ruling date forward! 

ESMOD's picture

You are allowed to work.... even if you are on and claiming disability.  There are rules.. trial periods .. extended periods of eligibility where no reduction is made.. and limits to earnings etc.. you have to report what you earn.  But, proof she was working does not prove she is not disabled and not eligable for disability.  It does not provide you proof she could work part time.. and not necessarily grounds for them imputing income.

Now.. HIDING income from the court or the SSA?  that is a different issue.. but just because you know she goes to a job.. doesn't mean that she won't still be able to claim disability.  There are some disabilities that enable someone to work "some"... or intermittently.. 

basically, they don't want to penalize people for "trying" to get back to work... and they don't want to yank benefits away if someone works some small amount "temporarily".. and then finds that working further isn't workable.  they also don't want people to not try because they are afraid to lose their eligibility.

If your lawyer has told you that was a good tactic to just prove she was at a job?  that in itself wasn't going to pan out with very much.  NOW.. her W2's.. her tax reporting.. THAT is what will be usable... and if there are none.. and she is still seen working.. that might warrant an investigation by SSA for fraud as well... possibly subpoena the employer to get her records of employment too.

advice.only2's picture

I'm sorry to hear that, I wish I could say it's surprising, but having been through all this with my own DH it's not.  The courts will do everything to protect the mother and take her word over and above actual proof.  It's sad really because these women don't have to lift a finger and they can financially destroy men, and it's on the men to prove they have paid, but even then it's still not good enough, the courts find ways to keep making them pay.

CLove's picture

Well I hope these issues get cleared up soon. So stressful.

Thumper's picture

I am so sorry.  

Adviceonly said it best

***The courts will do everything to protect the mother and take her word over and above actual proof.  It's sad really because these women don't have to lift a finger and they can financially destroy men, and it's on the men to prove they have paid, but even then it's still not good enough, the courts find ways to keep making them pay.***