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YSD does it again

Disillusioned's picture

So today in the mail arrives YSD's annual 'Christmas Calendar' that she sends out to everyone. Every month with pictures of herself and her family

It includes the dates of everyone's birthday's etc... including BM, SSIL's parents, DH & I (last year she had mine on the wrong day that apparently she felt "sooooo bad" about) Good one

This year, she has included pictures of BM with herself and the grandkids, as well as her MIL and FIL 

None of DH & I

DH of course was just happy to receive the calendar full of pictures and mentioned it was probably all pics from last year and since we weren't able to visit them last year due to the Pandemic that's probably why

I don't buy it

YSD absolutely loves to stick it to us, me in particular. 

Based on the crap she just pulled for my birthday, and of course the humilation of her FB posting on Mother's Day to BM and YSD's MIL, excluding me from the post even though I've been in her life for 24 years, fallen over backwards for many of those years, but her MIL of just a few years gets the wonderful Happy Mother's Day post love-you-so-much-don't-know-what-we-would-do-without-you yada yada post along with BM

Real kick in the teeth for me, her SM of all these years who tried so hard and truly did so much for all those years. That is something very hard to forgive or forget

So no DH, I don't buy that the only reason she left us out - the only two grandparents not on the caledar - was because BM and SSiL's parents had visited them last year and we hadn't

Sure, as sneaky and passive aggressive as YSD is, it could be assumed that was why. But I know her. I know how she makes a point of always doing things that somehow exclude DH and most especially, always me and I'm sure it was deliberate. 

And really, how hard would it have been to include a pic or two of DH & I, even if they weren't from last year? We've certainly visited years prior, and done lots for YSD and her family. 

I know as always I should just ignore it all and that is what I aim to do. 

Glad I'm disengaged from her and no longer fall over backwards to do anything for her or her family any longer

I will simply pleasantly smile and wave, and happily go back to my life now thank you very much!

CajunMom's picture

Even if she hadn't seen you, she could have done some Facetime photos or had you share some for her calendar. I know. I make a family calendar every year (14 years counting) and that is how I had to do many times in the past (way before CoVid).  Tell DH he can take HIS calendar to work. Buy something for the home that YOU like. 

I am so glad I'm past these BS games by adults. I haven't seen DHs kids in 4 years. 

Tenn9lov's picture

Once upon a time, for every holiday sd(25) gave dh pic after pic of her precious little darlings. Each and every pic was placed in a frame that featured an engraved quote or word geared towards dh. "GRANDPA" "WE LOVE YOU GRANDPA". The last framed picture dh received was one that sd demanded a family member take at an aunties funeral. The picture featured dh, sd, sd's precious little darlings and ss. The engraved quote, "FAMILY FIRST". (Before receiving this picture, sd had been complaining for months that her daaaad wasn't spending enough time with her and her brats). Of course this was yet another lie told by sd. DH had made several attempts to spend time with her. He invited sd and her brats for Sunday dinner many times, but sd declined. Sd complained she just needed a break, a babysitter so she could have a weekend to herself. 

As for the "FAMILY FIRST" pic, SD was making a statement. Her idea of family didn't include me. She wanted to drive that point home with yet another lovely family photo. That was fine by me. I got my point across when the picture and frame fell into the trash later that afternoon. 

 

 

Disillusioned's picture

LOL Tenn9lov, love it. I would love to do that to YSD's lovely little calendar but I honestly don't care. DH was smart enough to put it away in his office, it won't be up where I need to look at it again. I'm sure her, BM, SIL and OSD are all gloating. But then, sad small minds. They seem to spend their lives looking for ways to lash out at us, and I simply look for ways to enjoy my life minus them and their BS

Winterglow's picture

So draw a big, black moustache and glasses on every single photo of BM ...

Stepdrama2020's picture

Dont forget to blacken out a tooth or two and a tatoo that says BITCH on her arm or neck.

Missingme's picture

Passive aggressive little *itch. Your husband doesn't want to see that it's purposeful of the YSD to include BM bday info, etc. He's just elated for the scraps he gets. They all are. I can't imagine having to endure the same stuff your enduring for decades. I applaud you for your self discipline to play it doesn't bother you. I do the same, but then I don't have mine around as much. Of course that will likely  change the second they start spawning grands. 

Disillusioned's picture

Yes MissingMe, it only gest worse once there are grandkids Sad more pawns in SD's manipulative toolboxs 

OKtoStep's picture

I would find a nice pic of you, your DH, and the grandskids, print it out and glue it to an appropriate month in the calendar. 

Missingme's picture

And by all means have pics of you and your husband on mutiple walls in your home. Hmm, I need to get working on more of that come to think about it. 

Disillusioned's picture

Along those same line OKtoStep, DH & I sent a photo of us for one of the birthdays last year LOL. Since SD's just seem to love sending photo's to us of themselves like it's just the best gift ever, thought we would return the favour haha!

AgedOut's picture

make your own. I know it sounds immature but make your own and use photos you love full of memories and people you love. crop her ass out of any photos w/ the kids and then hang that calendar up on your fridge!

 

Disillusioned's picture

Can you imagine AgedOut? LOL....and then put it front and centre on the fridge when she visits haha!

1dad4kids's picture

DH's grandparents, who are very religious, excluded me from their calendar but included our children.

DH tossed the calendar in the garbage immediately. At a later date, MIL asked him where he'd put it and he told her it hadn't included my birthday so we weren't interested in keeping it. MIL was mad, because it included many picture of extended family, etc. DH just told her, too bad. It's garbage to me. If they don't consider her family then I don't want their crappy calendar. We never received another calendar after that. 

Next year your DH should write "return to sender" on the unopened envelope and not give it a second thought. 

 

Disillusioned's picture

Wow good for your DH 1dad! Now that's support for his spouse. Sends a great message Smile

Rags's picture

We don't generally use calendars in our home and if we get one it usually will go on the inside of a closet door or just not be put up at all. Occasionally my DW will receive one of beautiful land scape photos from her home state.  We have never received a self-worship calendar.  The concept is nauseating to me. 

Bad

She is not going to audit who is using their self-worship calendar or if it is hanging in a prominent place in the recipient's home.  

If we had ever received one, it probably would have been used at the bottom of our parrot’s cage and he would have been rewarded with a treat for shitting on the right person's face.

Don't make this a big deal. It does not have to be.

Disillusioned's picture

LOL Rags, right and right again. And yes "self-worship" so sums it up, along with a little dose of let's stick it to DH and most especially his wife while we're at it. 

It will go in a drawer in DH's office and rarely make an appearance again. Absolutely suits me just fine

Neither DH or I said much to YSD about it either. DH sent her a text letting her know we recevied it with a curt thank you nothing more, no groveling, butt kissing, over the top thank you's or his ususal desperate to please response, thank goodness!

sandye21's picture

This is a tough one because the exclusion is so obvious but SD is placing you in a no-win situation.  If you throw the calendar away you are being overly sensitive.  If you keep the calendar it is a reminder of just how much you ARE excluded.  I would 'accidentally' throw it away and be sure to let SD how sorry you are for the 'mistake'.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Even into their 30s. We're still seeing the same exclusionary crap. SD has her foyer plastered with a big "Family" decal and pics of everyone but us and the rest of her paternal family. 

My only surprise was that BMs pic didn't have an altar below it, complete with candles and flowers.