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The irony of HCBM's

skell76's picture

Part of HCBM's issue and fight in court was that she wanted SD after school through dinner on Wednesdays since that's when her boyfriend gets his daughter.  They have opposite parenting weekends so the girls never see each other or spend time together. She argued in court we didn't see them as a "family" and it was "hurtful"

When it came time for summer she was insistent on a nanny to keep SD safe and so she could continue building a relationship with her "Sibling"

When she references her boyfriends daughter it's "our other daughter" If I ever said OUR re: SD she would lose her mind. 

Anyway my point to this is HCBM and SD went to her family for thanksgiving and the boyfriend and his daughter went ot his family for thanksgiving.  What? Where is the FAMILY unit you fought so hard about. Boyfriends daughter does not attend anything for SD that is on Wednesdays or if it's our weekend and there's an event HCBM comes with boyfriend and no "Sibling"

It all sounds good in court right? smh


tog redux's picture

It's all about looking like a good parent. They don't really care if they actually are good parents. 

CastleJJ's picture

BM is trying to paint the picture of a perfect, nuclear family, which as we all know, many HCBMs try to do. BM would flip if I ever called SS "my son" or "our son" or if SS ever called me "Mom,"  but her GF calls SS "my/our son" and BM/GF force SS to call GF "Mom." BM is okay with that though because it's what she wants and it helps portray her ideal image and narrative. 

strugglingSM's picture

It's always about painting the HCBM in the best light, too. She is "loving her stepchild like her own" because she is a good and loving person. When I first met SSs they would always talk about "their brother" and BM would talk about her "three sons". One was her boyfriend's kid. She used to ask DH if he would take the kid for visitation weekends (because she wanted to go away with her DH) and also would send a Christmas list for this kid to DH and his family. She later married this stepdad (who the kids called dad before he and BM married). Fast forward 2-3 years (not sure when the tide actually shifted because we get limited info about BM's house) and she fights incessantly with her SS and demands that he pay rent or be kicked out of the house. Now she and former stepdad are divorced...and she has a new boyfriend who fortunately for her, has no children.

SeeYouNever's picture

BM is a stepmom too and has a lot of the classic complaints about her stepdaughter, as SD has conveyed to us. But BM insists that they get the stepsister for all the holidays and and how important it is for SD to be home with her for the holidays in order to bond with her step sister and her half sister. 

Meanwhile she has two half sisters on this side that BM has never given an inch in terms of SD bonding with them. I remember one time DH gave up some time that he was entitled to because it was the first holiday that BM had the new half sister and she said it was very important to her to have that all together. The implication, in my DHs mind, was that when we had children the favor would be repaid. You can all guess how that went. 

BM is the center of that family and there was never any room for DH in it even when they were married and now especially when they're divorced.

Persephone_'s picture

Basic double standard, just like SM is always the bad guy but StepDad is the hero. It's funny seeing this from both sides