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BM stalking through Iphone?

Cookieboom's picture

For those who don't already know, BM was going through our text messages and showing up at court with our sextings.  BF changed his Apple ID and password, she had lawyer ask for it and was denied.  I think she is still somehow using his phone since she still knows everything about him....

For example....We had plans to go away this week.  We were leaving Sunday.  We told no one, nothing was posted on FB and SS didn't know.  We were leaving for a few days that SS was with BM.

Out of the blue she dumped SS off to BF.  Dumped him off on Sunday morning told him she'll pick him up on Sunday.  She hasn't dumped him off since she got dumped by her married BF years ago, and has been fight the court/BF and not letting him see SS.  BF said this is the first time since SS was born that she won't have him on Thanksgiving.

I went anyway, but BF is upset (We discussed if she dumps him off no matter what he take him, better for the custody case).  SS refuses to have anything to do with me, so taking him with us is not an option.  

I am now wondering if she somehow is stalking him through his phone? I know SS has access to his phone and I think maybe she had SS install an app?  Any way to find out?   Thanks and have a great holiday!

tog redux's picture

I can't believe she asked her lawyer to try to get his Apple ID! Lol. He should either have a knowledgeable friend look through his phone or take it to a store and have them do a reset. It will wipe everything out   .  Does he use a laptop/desktop at all? Keyloggers can be installed there. 

CajunMom's picture

Not sure how that can be done. I'm sure there are tech services out there. Also, change the Apple ID again and all passwords to email and any other accounts/apps she could possibly get info from. Your DH needs to STOP letting his kid use his phone in any manner. Install Key Loggers on any laptops and desktops. I'd even go as far as putting cameras in my home, especailly while SK is there. If you were that secretive and she still possibly knows, you need to get super have a spy in your camp.

stepmomnorth's picture

I find google products somehow try to "connect" everything in order for "better service". For example my kids and I both had Gmail for email. It connected our email accounts somehow. I had to disconnect them because all of my emails would be viewable on their phones. Also "cloud photo storage", it's odd where the photos can end up if it's associated with certain accounts. Be on the lookout for that sort of thing. Change passwords. As tog sugguested have someone knowledgeable take a look. 

tog redux's picture

Yes, this is true and Apple does that too. So he should change his email password and make sure his apple products aren't linked together. A text from an iPhone will show up on an iPad too. 

Thumper's picture

That is creepy. Follow your gut on this.

I wonder how you can find out for sure. There has to be a way to investigate it. 




Sparkl3s's picture

Log in to the apple account via a website, it has on there all the devices you have used. I think you can remove some.

Cookieboom's picture

He did that a while ago, removed devices.  He went to the the geek squad store to have the phone checked.....


tog redux's picture

Keep us posted! It will be hard for BM to claim your SO is a danger now, since she dropped the kid off there for a week. At least there is that. 

Cookieboom's picture

Its crazy how she kept saying that...last time I checked he was still with the "skank," so why dump him off?????

ETexasMom's picture

Tell him to not only change his passwords but also his security questions. Use answers lthat she wouldn't know such as if it ask "mother's maiden name" answer with a made up answer ir change the spell. Often when people change their passwords they don't think about how an ex partner would be able to get in by security questions. 

Cookieboom's picture

Great idea!  I also think its great for court that she dumped SS on him last minute when she has been fighting to keep SS away from him.  I should make a bet.....There are three scenarios:

-She is trying to ruin our plans

-She is trying to look good for upcoming reconvened court date

-She has a new interest/plans and wants SS gone

I will keep you all posted...Thanks everyone have a good thanksgiving!!!

shamds's picture

App? I'd say more likely ss is covertly reading private messages and relaying back to bio mum. So bored that she needs to read your sexting!! Such an invasion of privacy, i'd be threatening legal action if she continued further with illegally spying on you and illegally accessing private messages.

none of my skids ever use or access hubbys phone, they don't even know the password but i do for uploading apps etc

Cookieboom's picture

Not sure if it came from SS or not, as she had screenshots of our sexting/texting....She also had screenshots of him sexting another woman who he dated before me.  Totally lame.....It appears that she had a whole thread of our messages, it looked like someone was reading all of them and taking screenshots...Not sure if it was SS or not.  

Powerfamily's picture

Can he/you afford to get another phone.  So keep the number /phone to use with SS/BM and no one else and the new phone for everyone else.

Cookieboom's picture

got a new phone recently, but I think it is more of her getting into his Icloud or account somehow.  I have heard of cases where people were stalked by exes by installing apps into their phones, so we want to cover all bases.  

tog redux's picture

Judging by her asking her attorney to request his Apple ID, she was definitely using that to get info. Can't believe her attorney didn't tell her it made her look bad to request his new one. Is it possible you guys discussed this vacation before he changed it?

Cookieboom's picture

Not at all.  We told no one, SS refuses to have anything to do with me or hear about me, so when with SS we do not communicate.  

Cookieboom's picture

emailed.  We have not been texting much lately after she showed up to court with our sextings.  According to BF, SS is no longer allowed to touch his phone since the court ordered visitations.

tog redux's picture

Okay, so he needs to change his email password and the security questions, and make sure his email isn't linked to other things. Could be coincidence but that seems unlikely given that you know she's gotten info from his accounts before. 

Cookieboom's picture

Thank you!  I too believe this is not a coincidence....

StepUltimate's picture

Suggest sending some emails about your upcoming Hawaiian vacation, vacation property in escrow, and your Swingers Club membership renewal. 

Just to make Psycho's head spin. 


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Discuss contacting that Swingers Club membership with the correct addy of the person who originally signed up: BM. *lol*

Cookieboom's picture

I was thinking more of sending an email that I was accepted to clown school/arcrobatic school and how I will be making millions....but the phone was checked, no app....The phone store said they can't check records to see if BM broke into his account from a few years ago, only recent activity....So we have no proof at this point...

ESMOD's picture

IT doesn't need to be an app on the phone... you can get access to your texts from your computer with account login information.  She likely knows all she needs to get that.

What I would suggest is completely changing his login credentials (if not opening up a whole new plan account).  Use information for checks that she would have no way to know.  Many places will even require additional security like a PIN from callers.  

Make this information that YOU come up with.. not his mother's name.. not his street he grew up on etc.. 

Look, it's easy to get access to your spouse's or Ex's info online since you usually have all the relevant data. .. I have all my husband's info.. would be easy for me to get into any accounts because I know all those "secret" answers that they ask.

And he needs to password lock his phone and not give his kid access.