Are we blinded by distrust?
So now that we have all of SD's medical records, it is very interesting. If you have been following and are interested in putting your opinion below, it is definitely appreciated. BM has only been taking SD to the doctor since beginning of 2020, prior to that DH was the one taking SD to the doctor. Below is a summary of the visits SD has had since January 2020, I have not altered any of the info just summarized what the pages say about symptoms, exam, etc.
-2/10/20 Visit: sore throat: yes, cough: yes, sleep: normal, no concerns voiced, oral cavity: no note about enlarged tonsils, strep test: negative.
-10/8/20: sore throat: no, cough: no, shortness of breath: no, sleep: no concerns, oral cavity: no note about enlarged tonsils, runny nose: no
-7/19/21: no history of throat infections, no history of difficulty breathing, no interruption of sleep, snoring: yes, sore throat: no, tonsils: 3+, Nasal congestion: no
-8/24/21: ENT #1: recommends tonsil removal due to BM's account of SD snoring, red tonsils, mouth breathing, coughing, and sore throat. SD wakes frequently, has difficulty breathing, stops breathing at night. ENT notes tonsils are 4+. BM says these issues have been going on for a few years.
-9/13/21: ENT #2: severity of enlarged tonsils: moderate, associated manifestations: snoring, nasal congestion, and times where she is unable to swallow. Tonsils: 2+. BM says problem has been going on for 2+ years. ENT recommends removal due to BM's description of SD at night.
-9/14/21: Follow up visit to a bug bite from 9/11/21... SD was absent from school due to BM saying "sick, cold symptoms" from 9/15/21 to 9/20/21 ... BM claims it is due to SD's tonsils, but never took her to the doctor to see if she has an infection or anything. BM sent photo of SD's tonsils which do not look bad at all, a little irritated, yes. Also, her tongue was a bit white, like mine gets when I have a cold. COVID test was done it was negative. So to me, she probably had a cold, but I am not a doctor, nor was I there
-10/11/21: sore throat: no, cough: no, shortness of breath: no, tonsils: 3+, sleep concerns: none, runny nose: no
*I will also add that on 9/14/21, SD's teacher says SD has not complained of her throat hurting, has not had any issues eating, or complained of any pain or sickness of any type.
**9/30/21 SD's teacher tells DH that SD has complained almost every day of her throat hurting and been going to the nurse since our 9/14/21 discussion. SD's teacher said she would request the nurse to send us an email about it.
***Nurse emails over log, SD went to the nurse the day of her first ENT appointment, the day following her bug bite appointment, then 3 more times after discussing with BM how SD had not complained in school to her teacher or anyone.
****During our end of July - August visitation we had with SD, she did not complain once about her throat or tonsils, we looked at her tonsils and throat several times and there was no irritation or enlargement, etc. We also have been asking SD when we talk to her on the phone if she is feeling okay or if her throat hurts, etc. and the answer is always no.
*****Learned that from 2/20/20 - 10/8/21 that BM has had SD referred to family counseling by the pediatrician, BM also portrays this picture of DH all last year that SD is suffering from being with DH more than BM, how the two houses are different is emotionally damaging SD, etc... Sounds like all last year BM was secretly trying to get even more custody of SD whether legal or physical and get proof via counselors/doctors of this. We had no idea BM was taking her to counseling or anything. Big surprise on the paperwork from these appointments, she left that page out when uploading them to the app.
Also, I want to note that in the files from the doctor's office, BM told the doctor yesterday she is concerned SD has dyslexia sine DH has a history of it. Well this is a complete lie. DH is not at all dyslexic. Funny how in yesterday's conversation BM mentions she worries that SD might be dyslexic, but doesn't make any comment about DH being dyslexic, because she knows he isn't!
Anyway, if anyone read all this and wants to give an objective opinion on if it sounds like SD is struggling as much with tonsil issues or if BM has encouraged SD to say x, y, and z at school to make it seem as though it is more of an issue since DH had pointed out that SD had not been complaining at school about it. Personally, that is my opinion after reading over all the doctor reports that BM doesn't mention any of these symptoms until all of a sudden. It could be possible that SD is now having issues, for sure, but it is hard to know which is the case. Just want us to be able to make what is truely the right decision for SD and not be blinded by BM's usual antics.