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I've gone and kicked dh out

secret's picture

Long story short.. I found out DH had been snorting cocaine and racked up 5k debt for it.

We'd been on the rocks since August last year.. it got kind of worse through all the ss BS in the fall.. and come December... I was finito.

It did take me until May to get my ducks in a row... then I left for a glorious 12 day trip to Michigan at the end of May. The hoops I had to jump through, pandemic wise, to take this trip was nutso bananas.. but while I was down there I did a lot of thinking.

When I came back at the end of the 1st week of June, I told DH he needed to pack his crap. He stayed at our campground for a few days, thinking I was just pms'ing, and doubled down on the lovey dive crap... I had to tell him point blank that he's just making shit worse for himself and to stop.

I gave him divorce papers the 2nd week of June... which he still hasn't done anything with.. and I'm internally raging because I just 

He's been coming around every 2nd day or so to get this or that.. I've told him he can stay at our campground until September and that he can keep his shit here until then.. but that it's all gotta be out by the end of September.

Cue giant fight this morning, because Monday the towlink on my SUV broke and the vehicle had to be towed across town back to the dealership so they could fix the wretched thing. Oh and the rear brakes and rotors while they were at it.. 1058$ bill.

Dh hasn't paid his share of bills since June 12. Including 400$ of the 600$ car payment.. I've been paying everything on my own. Keeping track, obviously.

Dealership calls him about payment yesterday... he told them to wait until today so he could talk to me. Tells me he's not paying anything because he's not driving it, I am.

The SUV is in his name.

So.. I stopped payment coming out of my account for the car payment... causing the last payment to bounce... they call him.. he's freaking out.

He tells me I should have the money because he's been paying me 400$ a week... um no... he's been paying me 300$ a week... 400$ has only been since the beginning of May when I told him we'd need new brakes soon... 50 of that extra weekly 100 went towards savings for car repairs.. 35 went towards fees for the campground next year.. and 15 went into general savings. Prior to having the suv, it was 200$ a week.

He's going off arguing that he's been paying me 400$ a week since September.. false. He did give me 400$ for a few weeks... but that's because he had underpaid his 300$ in the previous months...and he was re-paying those weeks back. 

Annnywayyyy.. he started going off about how he had no idea we were separated and now divorcing and he has no clue why and I'm a cold hearted bitch blah blah blah... yeah yeah I don't care. Then he says he wants my crossbow. Bitch please.

So he keeps yelling about the money... I told him to leave. He keeps yelling.. I told him I have all the payments recorded and what they were used for..  then he tries to tell me that I'm still getting government money for ss.. yep.. sure am.. told him in early June to apply for it so they stop sending it to me.. think he did? Of course not.. so I've been putting the difference aside.

After this morning.. I told dh that he won't be staying at the trailer until September.. that he needs to be out by the end of the month... and he needs to take his crap out of my house by end if the month too.

I've done him the courtesy of putting all his shit in black garbage bags ready to go by the front door. Garbage night is tomorrow, hopefully I won't confuse the garbage bags of his shit with the garbage bags in my trash bins... 

On another topic, I loved Michigan. I'm going back in September. I'm gonna pick up a young stud and have him marry me so I can get a greencard and move there. Haha!


CLove's picture

On your new life! Many happy returns. Keep us posted if you like.

DPW's picture

Wow, interesting update. You're so going to enjoy being free! I always thought you were too good for him. I think you knew that all along too. 

Stay strong. You got this!

DPW's picture

Oh, and how did you get across into the U.S.? I live in a border town and can't figure it out yet keep seeing U.S. license plates on cars  everywhere on this side???

secret's picture

I booked a flight.. maybe that's the difference


Eta to say wait..that wouldn't make sense.. licence plates... ugh I'm tired sorry.

If it's a border town.. I read that people who regularly cross for work can get around the restrictions.. but they've been semi-lifted recently.. and as of August 5 vaccinated people will be able to cross

When I flew, though, one lady I was talking to was saying she lived in.. I wanna say Kingston? And that the hassle of driving through the border made it so that she rathered spend the time waiting in airports than making the drive.. I dunno.. seems to be more restrictions by car than by plane

JRI's picture

"Can I just store some stuff here in your garage?"   No, you can't. I dont want you to have any excuse to come here.

secret's picture

Yeah I'm just done. He figured it out when I kicked him out last year.. he'll figure it out again.

SteppedOut's picture

Sounds like his dumb@ss deserved it. Good for you for loving yourself enough to do what it takes for YOU to be happy. 

secret's picture

Thanks! I haven't been this happy in a while!

I've started doing a bunch of stuff I haven't done in a long time... I even auditioned for a role in a small independent film.. and got the part.. we start shooting Friday. I'm stoked!

secret's picture

LOL awesome isn't the word I'd use at the end of day 1... good lord.

I left my house at 6:30am to drive to the location 2h away.. stopped for coffee and food... got there at 9am... it's almost 8pm and we are still going. 


Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Congratulations on making a fresh start. It sounds like you have put up with more than enough. Time for you to enjoy the single life. 

secret's picture

We generally got along fairly well.. at least if I compare it to a lot of stories here.. while the debt I would get over eventually..  the drugs is just a hard line for me. It's too bad..there was love. Just not enough.

Livingoutloud's picture

I always thought the guy did drugs or drank or both. Good for you. I hope divorce will be quick and you can move on. 

secret's picture

Yeah he's a big pot smoker.  I knew he used to do a lot of dope.. but he had cleaned it up for the last 15 years or so

Or so I thought.. lol

Honestly it made things real simple to deal with.

justmakingthebest's picture

I missed how you found out about the cocaine! Holy crap! 

Is the house soley in your name? What about the camper? 

This is such a mess, I am so glad you booted his butt! 

secret's picture

Oh yeah I didn't post about it...... essentially his mood swings got worse and I found powder coated dope baggies... so I went searching in his shit and found the statements from the cash money he'd racked up the debt with


Everything but the SUV is solely in my name.. and I have a secret stash of cash 

WalkOnBy's picture

LIfe here in the mitten is awesome!

Glad to hear you booted him, but I would love to hear how you found out about the coke.

Transiting the border by plane is/was the way to get around the restrictions, but yeah, week after next, the border will be open to all who are vaccinated.   

secret's picture

I just randomly came across it.. I needed a wrench, and I couldn't find mine in my tool box... so I unlocked and opened his, to be met with a stack of powder coated dope baggies 

secret's picture

I should add there was also a cut straw... and an old gift card with a crusty edge. I took lots and lots of photos of course... 

I confronted him about it... he denied it... I left it alone.

I confronted again the next day... he denied it again... so I told him I'd found his stash of used stuff... he laughed at me and called me a liar... that there's nothing there...and he took me there to show me I was full of shit...

I told him I had taken pics.. he demanded to see them.. so I showed him. 

Like the douche he is, he yanked the phone from me and deleted them all.

Oh well.. I'd already texted them to my email lol


The_Upgrade's picture

Wow, this is beyond narcissism. "Nope, not me, not me, ohh fk, retcon, not me". What a douche indeed. Definitely call cps on his drug use. It's not a matter of getting even, it's a matter of safety for his son and your responsibility as an adult. But hey, who says you can't kill two birds with one stone Wink

Thumper's picture

Glad you had the courage to give him the heave-ho.

SUPER glad he actually left.

 Thank GOD you caught him otherwise he could have ruined your entire life.



secret's picture

Yeah he didn't understand that.

Not only bad for me... but he could lose his son.

I've got half a mind to call CPS