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My Step Kids are disgusting

TiredStepMom92's picture

I've recently been reuinited with my partner of four years, we had a child together, but he missed the birth last year because of the pandemic and the lockdowns. Anyway, since i've been back all I've been doing is cleaning the house, and right after I do it, his kids make it dirty. They pee on the floor, they leave shit on the toilet seat.. etc things like that. I told him straight that since I'd be home mostly because of our child, that it's only fair that I cook dinner, clean the house and do the laundry. BUT, I told him as his kids are 12 and 16, they are way old enough to take responsibility for themselves and clean up after themselves. His son is 16, daughter is 12. Both of them leave their shit stains in the toilet, and I told my partner I didn't come back here to clean shit stains.

He's agreed and said he needs to be harsher with them both. This is an ongoing problem. This morning his son dirtied the kitchen, used the toilet and didnt flush, LEFT THE STOVE ON, and dumped his filthy washing in the living room expecting me to do it and buggered off to his girlfriend. My partner was already at work at this time. So out of rage, I grabbed the washing basket with his washing and flung it back into his room.

Winterglow's picture

If they don't start behaving like normal human being, they are no longer allowed in your home. He can take his visitation elsewhere. Not your problem. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

The kids are more than old enough to do their own laundry at a minimum.  If they don't fancy doing it themselves, it becomes dad's responsibility.

And dad needs to take over bathroom cleaning duties.  He created the messy creatures, he gets to clean up after them.  

Cover1W's picture

Good for you for tossing laundry back to his room. Exactly what I would have done. If you are taking responsibility for some things be very sure to make your expectations very clear to the kids (this is where you put your laundry and if you don't I will take care of it how I see fit ....or better yet, here's HOW YOU do your laundry....).

If they make a mess of the kitchen, put all the dirty things into a plastic tub and don't thouch it, or wash the stuff then remove it from general use (because obviously no one else needs the things)-if you then run out of items to cook or serve with then I guess you cannot make meals.

Is it the only bathroom? If not do NOT use it, ever. It's up ti skids and DH to clean. If it's the only one, then take control and call kids back to clean it by checking every time it's used. Or can you hire a cleaning person? I hired someone who did odd jobs to clean the SDs bathroom and DH paid for it because it was way way too gross even if I didn't use it.

Think smart and three steps ahead!

Mamabearof3's picture

My seven year old does his own laundry most of the time. And he'll do ours even occasionally. He would NEVER dump his dirty clothes in the living room and expect me to pick it up. Because he's been taught better. They do sometimes leave the toilet Unflushed and gross but my kids are 5/7 so. I really hope you enforce dad fixing this immediately. I'd print out a rule and expectations list and have him sign it to hang in their rooms honestly. That's just horrible. I'm sorry. 

SeeYouNever's picture

Gross I would have done the same thing and thrown the entitled brat's laundry back in his room too.

Makes you miss lockdown doesn't it?

Kaylee's picture

Your partners children sound feral. My boys were well and truly doing their own washing by the age of 12....and DEFINITELY at 16.

I hope your husband starts to parent up and enforce boundaries etc

Rags's picture

Any crap they leave around you bag it in garbage bags and put it on the curb. If hey notice is missing and go look in the garbage bags on the curb before garbage day... great. If not... even better.  Clean nothing that they create.  If they cook and do not do the dishes, stack them on their beds.  Anything left out and not put away, lock it up.  Put locks on the pantry and refrigerator and they get no access if they leave anything out.  

Hunger, not having cool clothes to wear to school, etc.. are great behavioral modification tactics.

Use them. Have fun inducing escalating misery in the lives of your mate and his failed family progeny.

*Diablo*