Not doing the school run, finances etc
I want to to disengage but I don't know where the limit is. These are the things I want to do and can someone let me know their thoughts. Be open - I need to sense test this with people and I won't be offended if you call me too harsh.
I would like to stop:
-getting my SD ready for school and walking her to the bus stop
-having her after school
-contributing to any school lunch food (you know lunch box stuff)
-paying for hobbies
-helping her with her homework.
-having to always attend family events. Surely my partner and SD can go by themselves sometimes. My partner is constantly pressuring me to act like we are this big happy family.
-constant family time. My partner is offended that I dont want to hang out in the lounge with them every single night. I'd like to spend time reading or writing. Not watching shit shows on TV. I think my partner hates it too and finds it even more insufferable if I'm not there.
-any cleaning that has anything to do with her.
-trying to create a bond.
- I know I cant stop talking to her but I'd like to minimize any interaction I have with her. Where's the limit there?
The facts: I dont have my own kids, SD is 8 and we have her full time. I've been her stepmum for four years. Shes been living with us for 3. Didnt like her the day I met her as a 5 year old(yes I know she's just a kid) and have tried my hardest to like her and form some kind of connection but we are polar opposites and she's just a nightmare. I hope you'll believe I'm not the kind of person to just give up on kid that wasn't a complete soul destroyer. It's not her fault. Court battles, neglect, abuse etc have all had an impact on her. But my life is in ruins and I need to take it back. Interested to know anyones thoughts on exactly how harsh I can be in this particular situation.