DH letting SD11 "decide" who to live with!?
BM moved (without consent) to another city/county this past year. She is about 30/45 minutes away depending on traffic. SD is court ordered to go to the schools in our district. DH has "final say" when it comes to educational decisions. And yes, dummy DH knew she was planning on moving and literally did nothing about it.
Well once kids started going back to school in the Spring because of COVID, BM "just couldn't take" SD to school. She either slept in, had to work, whatever excuse she could give to not drive the 30 minutes. SD ended up having her visits at her Moms cut short, and would come back to our house early so DH could bring her to school.
SD is very obvious about preferring BMs house more than ours. She hasn't mentioned it lately until the other day... SD11 wanted to talk to her Dad about something important. She basically said she feels like she "needs a fresh start" when she starts middle school next year. And surprise, wants to go to the middle school her Mom is zoned for. A different school in a different, city. Super vague. DH asked if anything happened at school. Summer started 2 weeks ago, BTW. SD11 said she embarassed herself infront of some other girls. And says they "talk behind her back" now. She couldn't tell DH what happened or what was said, or even the names of these girls. Just "it's a bunch of them."
DH flat out told her "it's not your decision" which has only pushed her further away. The very next day SURPRISE, BM (for the first time ever) attends her therapy session. The 3 of them. They both basically gang up on DH saying how much better off she would be, and she is so depressed now. She will only get worse without this "fresh start." The therapist kind of squashed it before it went anywhere and said they "have the whole summer" to think about it, but focus on her depression for now. DH said nothing. BM said whatever YOU end up deciding, make sure that's what you want because there's "no going back." What the hell. Idk if DH would consider it now. I feel like saying good riddance if that what she wants, even though she's 11.
Because of distance, SD knows she would basically be living with BM during the week always and it wouldnt be 50/50 anymore. SD would probably end up visiting EOWknd. PERSONALLY, I feel like it's SD round about way of saying 'I want to go live with Mom." DH is blind to it. SD makes everyone miserable when she is here. She doesn't spend time with her dad. She locks herself in her room all day only to play on her iPhone. Wakes up at Noon. Only for DH to come home from work at 5:00 to ask "Have you seen SD today?". No I haven't, she's a recluse. There is zero effort on EITHER of their parts to form a relationship. My thought, why should she even be here on his custody time, if they aren't even around each other?
I'm totally aware it's not my decision... ***But opinions wanted on what DH should do.*** Should he exercise his CO educational rights, and put his foot down? Basically forcing SD to continue living with us 50/50 still? Take switching schools into consideration? Even if it means less custody time for him? Not like he's using what he has anyway. If he truly thinks SDs depression would get better, and she would be happier, should he consider? Neither DH or BM can afford attorney's right now, so filing anykind of paperwork is pretty much not an option right now. They are both still paying for the LAST custody battle they had in 2018. Thoughts please!!