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Who else is having their SKID for Mother’s Day?

Ashleytenorio17's picture

I will and I'm upset about it!! It's DH weekend but BM was asking to keep her, my DH messed up by saying he would get back with her about it. Today DH told me we will have SD because BM doesn't want to have her anymore this weekend not even on Mother's Day! She said for them to meet the normally times which is late ( drive is 2 hours so he is home at 9:30pm). He was shocked she didn't even want her Mother's Day and told her that it was wrong BM doesn't want her any holiday and she was also with us last year for Mother's Day also . SD was "sad" that day and it has to be all about her and poor her because BM didn't want her instead of celebrating Mother's Day for me ! She was horrible last time she came ! We plan on having MIL over on Mother's Day which I was ok with because SD11 would not be here ( SD usually craves all the attention when MIL is around) now I'm pissed knowing she will yet again ruin another Mother's Day for me! Ughhhhhggg I don't know what we can do other then DH refuse to get her but I know He won't, especially on his weekend. Anyone else going through this , this weekend  

Comments

Caroline2b1211's picture

I do really understand your frustration.

Kids should be with their mother on this special day. And mothers should celebrate it with joy and hapiness.

However, i understand DH. What could he say ? 
 

In another hand, in this situation, i will ask him to celebrate this day at home without MIL. You can have full control of the situation in that case.
It's YOUR day, you can decide what to do.

SD might be sad, but no way in hell you should suffer from that. It's not your fault

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Yes it's just annoying that this happened every year and every holiday for that matter! I would not care if SD11 could actually behave and act her age but she never does and she must be the center of attention! I was looking forward to MIL coming over and us all relaxing because I thought SD would not be here. MIL is enjoyable to be around and she helps me so much with DD2 and DS4 . I know DH will not be ok with telling his mom to not coming on mother's days after we already talked about her coming. I'll just have to make the most of my t and ignore SD

step-out's picture

DH and MIL want to invite SD26 to Mother's Day at our house. She is so much like your SD except older and more dramatic if you can even believe it. If she comes, I don't know how I will be able to be in the same space, so I'll keep busy, gray rock and think of you doing the same thing. 

advice.only2's picture

I'm really sorry that sucks! Personally I hate Mother's Day, because I am so busy jumping through hoops for my own mother that I don't even really enjoy stuff with my kids. I just tell them look, buy me a coffee or something that day and we can call it good lol.

ntm's picture

If not, he doesn't have to agree to take her. This is YOUR day. Make sure he understands that clearly. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

He is not but I know DHwould not refuse his weekend.... BM does a good job at making him feel bad but I think I will have a talk with him later about this subject especially since we have had her every year for Mother's Day. I don't think that he knows he can refuse his weekend 

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

They tried but i quickly shut it down with a screenshot of the mothers day section in the court order (yes i keep a copy on my phone and computer) highlighting that mothers day starts at 6pm the weekend before mothers day and ends on mothers day at 6pm....I love this court order so much, it keeps me sane....therefore we are skipping a weekend and wont see them for 2 weeks....oh how sweet

I dont think it matters what your husband or his daughter feel, the court order states that fathers day is a weekend for fathers and mothers day is a weekend for mothers...if they dont have time to accomodate their own children for one holiday that they know come up every year at the same date, then its not your problem and it certainly shouldnt fall on the other parent unless they are gullible and disney dads

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Oh really I didn't know that!! Well I'm not gonna fight with DH over this even tho I don't think it's right that BM doesn't want her child on mother's day even if it's DH weekend. Going forward she will not be with us on Mother's Day no matter who's weekend it is. I'm sure BM would have a fit of DH didn't want SD on Father's Day . I'm going out to brunch and pampering on Saturday so I can be with my kids on mother's days. I am always with my kids on Mother's Day. I know a few people said I should make my on plans but I enjoy spending that day with my children and DH. I'll just have to not let SD ruin it for me again ..

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

You must obtain a copy of the court order. Every standard possession court order makes a provision for the following holidays:

-Spring break (every other year for each parent)

-Mothers Day (every mothers day weekend with mother)

-Fathers Day (every fathers day weekend with father)

-Summer break (every year with both parents split)

-Thanksgiving (every other year for each parent)

-Xmas (every other year for each parent)

-New Years (every other year for each parent)

-Childrens bdays (if bdays fall on custodial parents time, then non custodial gets two hours with child and vice versa)

In addition, specific provisions are made for single holidays (i.e. memorial day, labor day, etc.) based on parents arrangements. Outside of these holidays, regular standard possession is in place for weekends. Holiday arrangements in the court order supersede any standard access time/weekend. When holiday is over, standard possession schedule resumes

 

More information at:

https://www.custodyxchange.com/locations/usa/texas/visitation-schedule.php

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Thank you! I told DH this and he still has it in his head it's his weekend when really it's not

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Also she never has SD those holidays except some summer time . Spring was spend with us last year, this year with MIL and the years before . BM always has a excuse for not wanting SD thanksgiving and Xmas also 

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

I strongly encourage you to get a copy of the court order that states visitation as some others have mentioned that it differs from state to state but in TX, mothers day/fathers day are clearly outlined in a standard possession order

It doesnt matter if it is his weekend, the holiday possession supersedes that. Same if fathers day falls on her weekend, he gets the children anyway as holiday schedule supersedes standard schedule

If she doesnt want to have the children during the court ordered time, you can file a motion to enforce visitations provided that you have documented her missed visitations and how it affects the well being of the child. Being a parent isnt really a game but a lot of deadbeats get away because the other parent is "cool" or wants "bonus points" for having the child on extra time

 

Dont compromise and put a boundary that your husband should follow the court order TO THE LETTER

agitated's picture

Unfortunately mine lives with us full-time; always has (14 years). I have had the JOY of dealing with her every.single.year because BM always lived too far away to celebrate with her. However, she works that morning, so I will at least have some time with just my bios.