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SD finally accepted she is guilty...

acef92's picture

Two weeks ago I talked with DH about SD being so mean with me, because he told me that I do not tolerate her, REALLY?. She is always disrespectful with me even in front of DH family etc....she is a b*tch with me, even if after all I'm nice with her, she is really mean with me (mostly when DH is not around). At first he tried to make excuses about his daughter behavior (because I felt really bad) but at the end he told me he would talk to SD. 
3 days ago he told me he talked to SD about this situation and after a long talk she accepted all. Her behavior with me is that bad because apparently she thinks her mom will be sad or whatever if she does something with me or if she is nice with me etc. BM has told DH many times even before this she always tell SD that she has to be respectful and good person with me...

I didn't ask for more info to DH about this "talk" with SD because I just didn't want to know, I think there is no reason in the world to treat like trash someone who is being nice with you. I know he is concerned in some way about this but I supposed DH thinks I will be acting nice to her again after she "accepted all" and I'm not. 
I don't know how to feel about it, I think (first of all) I deserve an apology, but I don't know how to act with SD anymore, she caused all of this but even if she is sorry about this and she changes with me I'm not sure if I want to be "normal" with her. 


Wicked stepmo.'s picture

It's understandable you don't want to try to have more of a relationship with SD and you don't have to. She has two parents already. She has disclosed she has an issue with you, one you didn't cause. There is nothing you can do to fix that.

I would just step back and if she wants a relationship with you she can come to you.

ESMOD's picture

It's not easy to "forgive and forget"... but is it possible to have some level of understanding about where some of this is coming from.. the fact that while it seems personal, in reality, this is something that is reflective of her relationship with her mother and has a lot more with that complex situation than it does with you.?

I think that it should be possible to be civil.  Just like if you have a coworker who is difficult.. that doesn't give you license to be an ahole at work to that person.. but you will usually find a way to be professional and civil to them.. because it means keeping your job.  

Perhaps that is what it takes with SD?  a politeness.. but not going overly out of your way to interract with her?