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Treatment from DH's family over Easter, Compared to Mine. Unreal!

Disillusioned's picture

This year after all the nonsense with DH's family, we agreed that for Easter I would buy for my family and send the packages from us and DH would do the same for his family

I had a blast shopping, buying and wrapping the gifts for my neices, nephew in law, great-nephews and great-niece

DH was overwhlemed and exhausted doing the same for YSD and her family

First surprise for DH - it takes time, thought, money and energy to do these nice things for people and guess what, I had always done this for him with no complaints but he got a taste of what goes in to it

As soon as my family received their packages, we received phone calls letting us know they received packages from us. Lots of comments from them about how nice of us, how thoughtful, thank you Aunt Disillusioned and Uncle DH so much  - they hadn't even opened them yet!

From DH's end, not one word from YSD and her family. No acknowledment at all. Days after DH knew the package must have been received, he contacted YSD who said "ya we got it three days ago" - couldn't so much as take a second of her time to let DH know the package had been received let alone a thank you. Wow. But then again, they're used to me running around and arranging all of that and spending my money and time on them, so probably could care less about acknowleding anything they thought that I sent. Thank goodness I didn't this year LOL

Second surprise from DH - how if feels to go out of your way to do something nice for some people, let alone your own family, and be treated like you and it are insignificant in return

As my family opened their packages they each did a recording say thank you so much, love this, love that, can't wait to wear this, so appreciate that. Love you both so much. Thank you so much Auntie Disillusioned and Uncle DH

As his family opened thier gifts they only acknowledged DH, SGD wined about wanting to eat her chocolate and as soon as she got her way she ran off never to return to say two words to us again let alone a thank you for any of it

YSD carried on as if the only person that mattered was DH, and I was completely insignificant

Oh and while she was on the video call her husband, SSIL, walked in the house walking right by where she was clearly on the video call and didn't so much as acknowledge either one of us! Even DH was shaking his head trying to figure out that one. No hello, no Happy Easter, no thank you for the packages, nada

After the interactions with my family we were smiling and feeling loved and appreciated

After the interactions with DHs family were were having a serious discussion about the mistreatment and me not wanting to be a part of their crap any longer

Whether DH really understands how conniving and slimely his daugher is or not, or how unappreciative, rude and disrespectful her and her family are - I think the contrast between our two families during Easter weekend really highlighted that for him

Mine were kind, respectful, mature and loving. In othere words - NORMAL

DH's, well, plain to see they have ISSUES!

1dad4kids's picture

What a great experiment! Now DH understand first hand how how children are, and how they are raising their children to be. 

I've never sent Easter gifts before, but if I did my niece's and nephews would react the same as yours. Sending thank you recordings or videos of them opening, etc. My kids are the exact same. 

How unfortunate for DH's side, they will never be able to appreciate anything

Disillusioned's picture

Thanks 1Dad and yes, I think it was an eye opener for DH after all that running around and stressing over getting the right gifts and the cost and wrapping and sending, and then total silence from SD and her family, couldn't have felt very good!

...and ya I know first hand because that's how I've always been treated! 

JRI's picture

I wish I'd done what you did, I hope you keep it up for all the birthdays, Christmas, etc.  Please let us know each time.

I've heard the following from SD59 over the years: "Can you take it back and get x?" (when I told her about a  gift for her son that I'd purchased for Christmas at her direction.  This was at a very stressful time when I was doing good just to get out and buy something and she knew it was a bad time), "I used to be so proud of what you bought" (when I gave her daughter an Easter gift I'd bought at a lower level store than previously at a time of financial stress).  That's when I stopped buying for Easter and why I give cash for all occasions.

shamds's picture

And i would buy handbags and hubby would last minute tell me to get these bags for his daughters and pay for it.

when we gave it to them they would thank their dad, he reminded them that i bought it and to thank me instead and there was this awkward grin and smile from them

its all part of treat stepmum as an outsider 

Disillusioned's picture

Yes shamds, that's exactly what it is. How difficult would it have been for them to just say thank you? Wow. Glad you're not doing that for them any longer!

MaryBethC's picture

You reap what you sow. SD is showing your SGD how you treat family and she in turn will do the same to her mother.

 

Bless your family Disillusioned. It sounds like you raised good loving adults.

Rags's picture

DH's epiphany has to be pretty satisfying for you.  It is sad that it takes this kind of thing for the partner with the difficult progeny to gain clarity.  Even more sadly is that so many of seem to willfully blind to this kind of crap.