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Chapter 24, Part 1: Family Therapy Round One: Where In The World is Bratty McBratFace?

caninelover's picture

Chapter 24, Part 1:  Family Therapy Round One:   Where In The World is Bratty McBratFace?

We had made an appointment in early June of 2020 with myself, SO, and Bratty McBratFace, about a week or so after George Floyd’s death which sparked nationwide protests. 

We had made a Saturday appointment at Bratty’s request as she was working ‘a lot of overtime’ during the week.  SO and I log into the video call from our living room.  The therapist joins promptly.  We make introductions, etc. and Bratty has still not joined the session.  The therapist inquires and SO says he is not sure why she is late.  SO texts Bratty but gets no response.

We decide to start our session and assume Bratty may be running late.  I go over my goals and SO shares his, which are similar.  The therapist inquires a bit about SO’s divorce and Bratty’s history.  At this point we are more than halfway through the session and the therapist states that she thinks it is quite relevant that Bratty has not shown up.  She asks us our opinion.

I tell the therapist I am not surprised as I view Bratty as immature, irresponsible, and not willing to make meaningful efforts to establish a positive relationship with me.  I also expressed that felt that everything was one-sided with me making an effort but getting targeted resentment in return from Bratty.  SO said he was surprised that Bratty was a no-show as she had wanted this and was a big believer in the value of therapy in general.  The therapist opined that without Bratty there it would be difficult to be sure but she did believe Bratty like had issues stemming from her ‘rejection’ by her BM (which can be real or perceived rejection by Bratty).  And that children rejected by their BM tend to repeat a pattern where they reject others throughout their lives.  In some cases, they even reject the therapist attempting to treat them.

As we end the call the therapist asks how we’d like to proceed.  SO says he would like to wait and hear from Bratty as to why she was absent.  We agree to circle back after that.

That afternoon, SO was concerned that he had not heard back from Bratty at all.  He started thinking some terrible fate had befallen his child.  He was considering trying to call local ER’s.  Then just before dinner, a text comes in from Bratty.

The reason she did not join the session {drumroll please}:  Bratty forgot. 

Then Bratty piled on a complex explanation.  Well, she was overworked and tired from all her overtime.  And she was upset about having to work during the week and therefore unable to join the protest marches.  She had gone to a protest march that afternoon and deliberately left her phone and wallet behind in case tensions escalated.  So she did not get SO’s text and had simply forgotten the appointment altogether.

SO’s response to this, after he had been worrying all day:  “Bummer”.  He did tell Bratty she needed to apologize to the therapist and myself and then set up a separate appointment to catch up before we can continue.  Bratty responded with a very curt OK.

The next day, an email comes in from Bratty to myself and the therapist.  Bratty said she was sorry she missed the appointment and then went on with her big story about being overworked and at the protest.  She respected our time (*cough – bullcrap - cough*).  I responded to Bratty’s email with a simple thank you for the apology, but if it happened again I wouldn’t continue.  The therapist responded with a thank you and an admonishment that regardless of outside events we all needed to be responsible about our appointments.  She agreed to schedule an individual session with Bratty first and then circle back for a group session after that.  Bratty completed her session this time and our next group session was scheduled soon after.

That session was a disaster.  Bratty came in with a full-on list of demands that included some ridiculous things expected of me.  I finally lost it on her in the session and Bratty did not like that at all – and she let the therapist know it later.  We’ll find out what happens next…


caninelover's picture

I would have ripped her a new one if she caused that big of a commotion that we had to schedule a group therapy appointment...and then forgot.

CLove's picture

Therapy sessions are EXPENSIVE!

And for her to just blow things off like that would tell me shes not that concerned about building a postive relationship with you.

Much like Feral Forger who sais she wants a positive relationship, all while trash talking me behind my back.

Exposure of the posures makes for a more peaceful life. 

caninelover's picture

I started realizing through this that I didn't like Bratty.  I kept trying because of SO but eventually I decided it wasn't going to work since the effort was really one sided all along.  Bratty only wanted to maintain her number one position in SO's life and merely tolerated my presence.  When she was told she had to move out she tried all this crap to resist.

MissK03's picture

She had no intentions of doing therapy because there is nothing wrong with her. It's you guys that need the therapy... in Bratty's mind that is.. hence the list of demands. 

We go through this with SS17. He is programmed like BM who is in her 40s and has that same mentality. I've flat out asked him multiple times if he honestly thinks it's everyone else and not him on why he has shitty relationships with his brother, sister, myself, and kind of SO... he flat out says yes. He sees no wrong. BM blames me for being an extreme absent parent... yeah lady my fault I didn't fall for your manipulation of SO/myself.  LOLLL ok. She wasn't very active for the 4 years prior to their separation before SO and I met... she just took them EOWE which stopped completely 3 years ago. My fault though. *insert eye roll*

caninelover's picture

And what Bratty never realized was that I would walk away from the nonsense.  When she had drama with her BM everyone 'fought' for her attention.  I'm sure as hell not gonna so bye bye bratty.

MissK03's picture

Exactly. That's where I am at with SS17. I tried because of his age, his immaturity but, there are things that stick with me and I won't forget. It's (IMO) part of his DNA and there is no changing it.

Edit: He is graduating high school this year and I have zero desire to go. We have no clue what they are going to be doing but, I'm honestly hoping there are limited tickets and I somehow manage to get out of it. This is going to be problem with my SO. I already sense it. I'm hoping to offer say my "seat" to his parents or one of the other skids. 

caninelover's picture

Finding the line between supporting your SO but not wanted to be near their toxic offspring.  

Maybe you can make a compromise where you can attend the graduation ceremony but skip any parties etc.  That way you can just show up, sit next to SO, give some fake congrats and leave?

MissK03's picture

Yes. My SO knows SS17 and I will never have any type of relationship but, he struggles with compromising with my feelings towards him and understanding this is why I am at where I am... I literally don't start any sort of conversation with him besides.. "you need to get up." And "I'm leaving in 2 minutes if you want a ride to school." 

We would have a party at our house so no getting out of that haha. Which would be fine no matter what because of SO's family. 

CLove's picture

When SD21 Feral Forger graduated there was the "I only have limited tix!" to which then SO replied "well if cLove isnt going Im not going to youd better get her a tic."

I forfeighted 3 hours of pay, and sat on a hot bench in the sun for 3 hours plus with no water and no cusion, and got no thanks, when she finally did procure a tic for me.

Was it worth it? Maybe. We are married now, so I get a gold star for "showing up and suffering like the martyr I am..."

acef92's picture

Well apparently the show never ends with Bratty, I can imagine all the stupid things in her list *eyeroll*. Can't wait to read the next chapter.