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What should I do?

Stepmom25's picture

So SD is in coach pitch (first year) and SS is in tball (first year). BM signed them up and bought their gear. We all get along great. Would it be overstepping if I wanted to get a picture of the back of mine and SS’s shirts (also SD’s)? I will have a team shirt with my nickname on it. I just don’t know if BM should be the one taking the pics with them. I don’t want to steal the limelight by doing that. Thoughts?


Aniki's picture

Take pics if you want. If you are concerned about stealing the limelight, don't post the pics on social media.

Why are you so obsessed over these shirts and ball?? Most of your posts revolve around this and you're making too much of it. You should question WHY that is. And to be frank, if this is your biggest concern, be very, VERY thankful. 

advice.only2's picture

Honestly if you guys have such a great relationship why aren't you talking to BM and DH about these things?

futurobrillante99's picture

I get the sense you know this going to somehow explode into a thing, but you want to do it anyway.

Ask yourself what need will be filled by posting a photo of yourself with your stepkids in these shirts.

Will it impress someone you want to impress? Will it tell the world you're one of those special bonus moms and isn't is great that you're so evolved you're actually on good terms with their mom? Is it because the shirts were your idea and you want to be first to reveal them?

Once you decide what the driver is, ask yourself if posting these pictures is mostly for you or if you're really thinking  about what's best for everyone. Imagine how good it would feel if someone ELSE like your step kids or spouse or BM posted the picture. It would seem less like self promotion.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Of course BM should be the one getting pictures with her kids, and her pictures with her kids trumps pictures you want with her kids. If your question is "can I ask BM to take a picture of the kids and me in out shirts?", that really is dependent on the kind of relationship you have with BM. If you're afraid you'll offend her by asking, then don't ask and either take pictures yourself or (likely more appropriately) don't take pictures.

It's entirely that simple.

ndc's picture

If you need to ask the question repeatedly on a public forum, the answer is likely no, you shouldn't take the pictures.

ESMOD's picture

This is your 5th post about the same/similar topic of posting pictures of your SKIDS on your social media.

To be basically blunt.

1.  you are not their parent.. and shouldn't have a "parent" shirt.. imho.. that is generally a privilege that would be best left to the two, active and involved biological parents. (you can wear "team colors" at games)  

2.  You should leave posting of pictures of these kids to their parents.  

3.  You can take a picture with these kids if you want it for your own personal memento.. but posting to social media... I would not do it.  Why do you feel you have to.. why would you want to?  

It seems like you are trying to overstep their mother's place.. it's pretty clear that you understand that what you are asking is probbly not a good idea.  You shouldn't be portraying "happy family" photos on your social media because it looks like you are trying to displace a parent.. and I would bet your DH's ex would not like that at all.

If you happen to have a large group barbeque and the kids are in a larger group shot.. that is one thing.  A pointedly posed picture with you in a PARENT shirt... I would not appreciate it.

Of course, the final answer would probably be best answered by your husband and his EX... THEY are the parents and should be able to dictate who posts pictures of their children on social media.  


Aniki's picture

After so many repetitive posts, perhaps it's the only way to get through to OP. I shan't comment again.

ESMOD's picture

I hated when my stepkids "opinion shopped"... I am not a fan when people do it here either..hahaha.  It seems like these answers are a lot of "probably nots".. with some "IDGAF what his ex thinks.. do what you want"... The former is probably more appropriate when the relationship has not been toxic... to date.

ESMOD's picture

Generally, it's "fine" to post pictures of yourself on vacation.. I think you should let your husband post pictures that include his kids.

Social media isn't a need.... and no one is obligated to post a pictoral version of everything that they do.  

Unless you have kids of your own in the mix... or joint children with your DH.. I would not be inclined to share pics of his kids on my facebook wall.  Let parents show off and brag over their kids.. you might be surprised the turn your friendly relationship with his ex takes if you continue to mark your territory on her children.

If you want to send your mom pictures in an email.. fine.. but publicly posting... no

yougotthis's picture

I post pics of my step kids, as I have a good relationship with THEM. Pics from trips, from our wedding (they were all in the wedding party) whatever pics I feel like (I don't post pics of EVERYTHING we do, but special times I feel like sharing with MY family and friends) I don't have BM on Facebook tho, and could care less what she thinks anyways. I think you need to stop overthinking everything. 

yougotthis's picture

I've seen you post this 3 times now. You're in their life and if you want a photo with your Step Kids then get one, don't worry about what the BM thinks. That's just what I'd do tho, I don't really give a rats ass what she thinks, but you obviously on second thought if you have to keep asking about it, maybe you shouldn't, as you're obviously very worried about what BM will think. If you all get along so great tho I don't see why BM would have an issue of you taking a photo with the kids. 

Edited - you've posted about this SIX times actually. 

IDontCare3117's picture

Can I hear a T????

Anyone else on The Official Crew Team wanna finish?

justmakingthebest's picture

LMAO! Crew was in for the long haul though- she sucked us in with a new story of her "monster" skid. Not just the same post 72 times.

Felicity0224's picture

I tried to be diplomatic last time I commented on this subject. Now I'll be more blunt.

If you are thinking about photos and social media even half as much as you're posting about it here, it is taking up an unhealthy amount of space in your head. Assuming you aren't just trolling all of us, I genuinely believe you need to speak to a professional about why you can't make simple decisions for yourself. And perhaps about why you care so much about social media. Neither of those indicate a healthy and happy individual, in my opinion.

24 years as a SM's picture

Read my response from the first time you posted these questions.

Findthemiddle's picture

I am starting to think this is fake.